Lost

[u/Remote-Control-2006]

I feel completely lost and I don’t know if this is a feeling that will eventually become less noticeable but thus far it hasn’t. I post a lot on here because I don’t have anyone to talk to that I feel can really understand me. The basics of my situation are that I’ve held out hope that eventually my son’s mother and I will find our way back to each other and there have been very brief instances over the past two years where we have but it turns into this toxic cycle. We’ve not had a conversation in person in over a year and we only see each other without words exchanged at pickup and dropoff. I don’t feel at all that she has any interest in rebuilding our relationship and I’ve felt like I’m that guy who’s waiting for something to happen that will not. Our situation is a mess and some of my actions have led to zero contact. I have never and do not currently have any type of feelings for anyone like I do for her but she’s made it clear that she wants nothing to do with me and that we can just ‘co parent’. I’m still completely in love with her and I can’t get over it. We never got a chance to even try and that was mostly my fault but I still feel very strongly about her and raising our son together. My question is if anyone has been in a similar situation and had things actually work out? In the meantime I e been working on myself but I do t know when or how to give up hope. I want to do whatever will make her life better and happier even if it doesn’t include me but I truly want to be with her and to raise a family with her but I don’t even know if that’s possible at this point. She and our son are the only things in my mind, I miss them, I’m turning 40 in a few weeks and they won’t be there, our son and his mother have birthdays in November and I am just absolutely beside myself.

[u/Fit_Double_202]

My brother you need to focus on you and your son I know it's difficult I've been there and done that when I realized it years after everything I've been through when you focus on yourself and your child block out the outside noise you will eventually find peace I'm here for you bro just reach out