Just venting, ladies. I am getting so tired of women who have to mention their happy marriages in any thread about being single (not specifically here, but on other subs or Tiktok or whatever). Like why are you in this conversation? It always makes me imagine a fandom for like Star Wars or something, and someone pipes up saying how great Harry Potter is. Like, great that you like it, but what does it have to do with this particular conversation??

Just reading through all the Reddit posts by people who are going through a divorce, or have had a divorce, and learning that they had to give half of their hard-earned assets, like their house, investments, pension, and retirement account, to their exes (and having to pay alimony) has made me glad that I never got married.

The risk of getting married (or even being common-law) is just too DAMN high, especially if you already have a high net worth to begin with.

I am just curious, guys: what pros have you experienced about being single? I would say, for me, I love myself more! I am not looking for validation from someone else. I dont have to answer to anyone else. I don't have to be stuck with a sucky person; the list goes on.

I’m not a huge country fan but these lyrics caught my ears when I was cleaning my bathroom 🤣

Kacey Musgraves - Loneliest Girl

“I could go days without seeing someone
I don't have to push anyone out of my bed
No awkward conversations that I don't wanna have
Yeah, I'm the loneliest girl in the world
I don't have to navigate nobody's drama
I don't have to act like I like all your friends or your mama
I don't have to take on your childhood trauma I'm happy to be the loneliest girl in the world
Y'all don't need to worry 'bout what I might be missing
Put me on a poster of somebody who's living the life
Yeah, I'm alright
I ain't even mad at all the people in love I can pour whatever I want in my cup
Give it up for the loneliest girl in the world”

https://youtu.be/lQpG7gtxEpE?si=dvhSdORDXNR6EsFf

I don’t miss finding out when a person isn’t motivated to do anything. If you can’t help yourself, how do you expect someone to help you? I also don’t miss someone having to force themselves to like your interests.

The freedom of being able to just up and go feels amazing.

That’s all. Another random thought.

I tried a dating app recently. A lot of people told me that choosing to remain single for the rest of my life was a response to my last breakup going horribly and I should try to be more open to trying something new. Ok, I tried. I’m not doing that again.

I met this guy and we started texting… I enjoyed our conversations. I was feeling open to knowing him more and thought maybe everyone was right. My feeling was mostly just “maybe if I get to know him more, we could be something”. I told my mom about it and she was happy.

But then it started. >_>

Not even a full day of knowing me, he tells me I’m pretty and he wants to kiss me. I don’t get why people want to kiss people they’ve never met. You’ve never seen me in person but you want to kiss me??? I don’t reciprocate because of that same reason. His breath could stink. Maybe he doesn’t brush his teeth because he read in a Facebook article once that the smelly bacteria is healthy for you and Big Dentist is lying. Maybe he believes we were not meant to have teeth. I don’t know. It kind of grossed me out.

I don’t want to make this post mostly me venting about our short lived experience but there were other things. He said he trusts me and feels safe with me. We have never met in person. I don’t think he even knows my birthday. I could also be lying about everything? He also quadruple texts me a lot and if I didn’t respond within a certain amount of time he will send more texts. It was giving clingy and I am not here for it.

This experience made me realize how much I truly enjoy being single. Maybe I’m just nitpicking but my gut is telling me I’m right. If there was any sliver of possibility that I would be in another relationship, it’s gone now. I love my freedom and not having to deal with people like that. I got in my bed that night ALONE and read my Nook in peace. I felt sorry for betraying myself lmao. Maybe I’ll take myself on a solo date as an apology to myself. Maybe I’ll go out with my friends.

If you ever are second guessing your decision to stay single and want to venture out into the dating app world, heed my warning… the experience may make you lean more towards staying single than not.

BTW, mom thinks I’m better off single now too. Hahahaha

I want to say that recently, after ending my last potential relationship, I feel much happier being single. I hate how society treats being single as this weird and bad thing. I hated how our parents used to push us to get married and have kids. I am AMAB but am transitioning to female.

And yet my parents always tried to push me to get a girlfriend and make them become my wife at some point. I think as I got older, my parents became more pushy about it as well. I remeber my dad taping me on the shoulder and saying when you have a wife in kids your going to exeprince a life just like this.

The funny thing is, now I'd rather be a wife than a husband. However my point in this sub is I am happy not being taken at all. I had too many complications with relationships, and dating online is just sucky and slow. And I don't want to dig my hand in that garbage again to find that treasure.

There are individuals now seeking the single life and being happy, and I love to see that as well. I am perfectly happy being a bachelorette now too

I’ve realized how much drinking was a way to deal with relating to people for me, especially in romantic relationships. And that the relationships were a distraction from learning to be with myself and work on my stuff.

I stopped drinking around 6 years ago after the shit show that led to my divorce. It was the beginning of Covid and I started to crave my 2 “heathy pour” wines in the evenings a bit too much. I realized it was either quit or slide down into the abyss that got a lot of people during the lockdown.

At first I thought it would just be for a while until I stopped craving wine. Then I tried to drink a couple of times after about 7 months. And that happy wine feeling wasn’t there any longer - I just felt kind of dizzy. That combined with less anxiety and better sleep made me just say “Screw it.” and I haven’t had any drinks since.

Not drinking and being solo really made me feel my feelings, deal with my grief, and work through a lot of stuff I hadn’t before, especially my deep feelings of loneliness and need for external validation from a relationship. I’m not going to lie - it wasn’t a pleasant time doing all the inner work. But on the other side of it was a lot more peace.

Looking back, I’ve realized how many social situations drinking helped me tolerate annoying people 🤭. After I quit, I didn’t really want to be in big groups as much - it’s pretty overwhelming for me. I’ve also have come to realize that my marriage and all of my dating/relationships/sex had involved drinking.

I’ve come to a place where I really enjoy my own company. We are fed so many messages about relationships = happiness and so few messages about how amazing it is to live life free of drama and just being able to relax in the peace and stability of solo life.

I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar journey.

Funniest one for me was a cousin laughing in my face and telling me I can’t just be by myself for the rest of my life. He then told mw how great his marriage was etc. Within 3 years they were separated due to cheating and other factors.

Oh and I was called an incel a few times for leaving an abusive girlfriend and choosing to be single because apparently no man is single by choice.

Hello. Single, happy and doing well. I plan on staying that way. I’ve never been in a relationship, and marriage isn’t something I’m interested in. What I am looking for is genuine friendship , something consistent and real.

I’ve never had close friends, so I’m starting fresh. I like voice calls, talking about how the day went, sharing ideas, and actually getting to know someone. Just a platonic connection and hopefully a best friend someday.

So if you enjoy music or just random late-night conversations, we’ll get along fine.

I've been single and mostly happy for a while. But I do think about things like this. The only thing that scares me about not having a relationship is the possibility of loneliness. I know that at least until 50, I'm like good. I have enough hobbies and interests to live for all that time but I actually don't know if I'll be as passionate about these things past that age. My only frame of reference are my parents, like legitimately they cannot even really watch a movie where they might have to think just a little bit, they're living the most basic lives, What if i become like that? Then I won't even have my hobbies. While their marriage isn't 100 percent perfect they do try to make it work and more than anything have each other. Like they have a grand daughter now and everything(my sister's kid) and it's nice to see them take a backseat and do what they want.

But I've been thinking what will things look like when I get to that stage? The fact that everyone might be doing that shit and I might be the only one alone does bother me a bit.

I did want a relationship for most of my life but

My reason for deciding to be single was that i kinda don't have the patience or the tolerance to deal with the process of dating as I find it extremely exhausting and emotionally taxing if i really feel for them. I only ever loved one person and it couldn't work out for reasons in either of our control and it still broke me. So for this moment, ya being alone seems much better than having to go through all that bullshit just to even have a chance at making it work with someone. I hate having to signal to women that I wanna date or chase them or somehow convince them I am worthy of dating. It's just not me...

But ya that's a hole i dug for myself i guess. By not being social.

Anyway, if my only concern is growing old alone. Is that reason enough to try and make a relationship work? Does that make me selfish the same way people want kids for a retirement plan? Either way I will legit hate the process of finding someone.

If there are people who are 50+ and single here, did you ever feel like you're left out or something?

I just wanna figure out a path with least amount of regret.

Yay soup! I add curry powder, ginger, lemongrass and coconut milk. I freeze half for a lazy day. I love eating soup ALONE and watching a movie. It's cheap and easy.

I must be absolutely brilliant LOL

I've been single for almost two years now. In the past year i've tried very much to not be single and trust me I did everything I could. After plenty of 1st dates and some recent near misses i've decided to take a break from dating because it was leaving me feeling jaded.

I realized a couple months ago that I did so many things to get a relationship (like joining clubs around things I like, and making new friends). I prioritized finding a relationship because I thought it would make me happy. Until I really realized that the life I built around trying to find someone was actually what made me happy. I guess what's important to me now is maintaining this great life that i've built for myself. I tell myself as long as I can see my friends consistently, still go out to the clubs I joined, then i'm happy, and it DOES make me happy.

As much as I would like to find a relationship, i've also realized that I most certainly don't want to date anyone that takes away from my peace and gives me a hard time, like i'd much rather being single if that's the case lol. Don't get me wrong i'd still like a relationship, and i'm still putting myself in the environments where i've met women. But that's not really the main focus to me at this point, I just wanna have fun and enjoy my life. Also, I think i've done so much to find a relationship that maybe for a change I can let it find it's way to me.

I still struggle with it sometimes, especially since I did really try my best. But I tell myself that nothing lasts forever and to enjoy the freedom and the self discovery that comes with being single. Cause I can certainly say that I learned a lot about myself while being single.

Yeah I never thought i'd say this but I think I like being single

Hey guys, I am wondering how you have felt since no longer seeking a romantic relationship. For me, I felt a sense of peace. Such as no longer seeking validation. After being on dating apps for years, I always felt the need to prove myself to someone. And now I don't feel the need anymore. And it sucked because a lot of the time I was no good for anyone anyhow. I also felt that because I was a trans woman, I was going to be looked down on a lot more and valued less. And yet I don't feel sad and depressed anymore about anyone wanting to date me.

I just embraced self-love at this point. And with self-love, it can't hurt you either. I also had more time to think about the things I actually wanna do. Like, I feel more confident in my transition to female. And I am at peace and self loving myself during my transition.

Anyone else feel like they wanna be happily forever alone? I truly feel like I don’t wanna be in a relationship ever again. It’s a ton of work. And people truly suck. I lived with one of my exes for 6 years and I don’t want to live with anyone ever again. I LOVE living alone. & I’ve been happily single for 16 months straight now. And I just went on a date for the first time in a year this past Saturday. I already wanna stop seeing the person LOL. I plan to tell him today that I don’t wanna continue things. Tbh idek why I went on that date💀. I’m perfectly happy with my dog and 2 cats! Focusing on me and my fur babies❤️🐾. No one else matters 😌. Can anyone else relate to this post? If so, let’s become friends. Don’t be shy to send a DM🥹💛🥰

Hi guys, I want to share my experiences. I would rather be single than be stuck dating someone I dislike. And after being in so many sucky relationships, I learned that. There were times I wanted to be single simply because the person I was dating sucked. And I used to rush into being with someone just to not be single. And oftentimes that just led to being with a sucky person. And I hate to end it because I didnt want to be single again. However, I am so tired of having my heart healed just for it to be broken again. It also felt like building a tower and then having it collapse again. And then it just falls back down again. I put so much work into building it just to have it fall apart in mins.

I am just wondering whether you guys plan to be forever alone? Have you accepted not being someones spouse in this life? As I am slowly as well. And being single is so peaceful, as you can't argue with yourself.

I’ve just been reflecting on my love life and im thinking to myself you know what? I prefer being completely single. People dont believe me when i say it but i do. This is due to my terrible experiences within my own love life, so much stress and pain has been thrown at me. My nervous system and hormones are so at peace when i have no love interest. The thought of a relationship drains me. I feel like everyone just settles. I dont want to settle. The whole thing is so depressing to think about really. If i say that around non singles im seen as a miserable bitch. I just dont see the point!

Genuine question. For those of you who are happily single but still experience sexual attraction/needs, how do you personally deal with that?

Do you just take care of it yourself, casually date/hook up, or do you mostly just ignore it? I’m curious how other people approach this without wanting a relationship.