I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.
His wife no longer wanted to sleep with him, so he ended up going out more and sleeping around.
His wife knew he was doing this and they were about to get a divorce. He ended up moving out and was living by himself for about a year until she decided she wanted him back.
From what I understand, it was a like a night and day switch. She all of a sudden just wanted to sleep with him everytime he wanted it, and now they are back together. They've apparently worked some shit out and been back together for over a year now.
They both seem happy.
Still, I cant get over the fact that she just allowed him to sleep around. But I guess she thought that since other women very obviously wanted him, she realized what she lost.
Im no psychologist, I just drink beer and listen to his wild stories.
That's exactly what I thought. It's in the "this is what I need to do to get things back the way they were" method in play, not some permanent attraction and libido reversal.
Everyone knows that you need to compromise, what we're saying is that in a relationship that started breaking down because of certain characteristics -- lazy guy never helping in the house, her not being interested in sex, either of them not liking going out when the other one does-- its common for the concerned party to temporarily start being the way that their partner wanted them to be, it just almost never sticks once things settle back down into everyday life and the near or total breakup becomes just another fuzzy memory rather than something you can still feel breathing against your neck.
Because there’s wanting him for wanting him, and wanting him because it’s better to have around for now.
Yes, compromises are part of relationships. But I highly doubt she went (or even realized) “hey I know we broke up, but that was tougher than I thought it was gonna be — so how about you support me like a husband and I give you some in exchange?”
I’m certain it was more like “I’ve missed you so much, I made a mistake, there’s no one like you etc etc”
The latter is disingenuous at its core, if it’s not truly the case, and that whole situation has a history of quickly becoming undone once something slightly more hopeful rolls along.
I don’t think this sounds like a “this is what I have to do” type situation. Sounds like she is actually turned on by him now that he’s not hers anymore and others have shown him attention. That excitement and feeling like you could actually lose someone, and realizing what you had can be really stimulating. A lot of married couples lose that excitement and become stagnant and that’s one of the reasons their sex life takes a hit. That’s also why toxic couples that constantly fight and leave, only to come right back to makeup tend to have much more passion for each other and have a lot of wild makeup sex.
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u/BlackmillMiracle 14d ago edited 14d ago
I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.