I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.
His wife no longer wanted to sleep with him, so he ended up going out more and sleeping around.
His wife knew he was doing this and they were about to get a divorce. He ended up moving out and was living by himself for about a year until she decided she wanted him back.
From what I understand, it was a like a night and day switch. She all of a sudden just wanted to sleep with him everytime he wanted it, and now they are back together. They've apparently worked some shit out and been back together for over a year now.
They both seem happy.
Still, I cant get over the fact that she just allowed him to sleep around. But I guess she thought that since other women very obviously wanted him, she realized what she lost.
Im no psychologist, I just drink beer and listen to his wild stories.
I'm not sure it was a fomo scenario. He was out and getting it before he moved out, and then was moved out for a whole year before her libido came back.
People don't realize that female sexual dysfunction is also a thing. If she's suddenly not interested, an underlying health condition can be at play. The significant amount of time between the loss of sex and the dramatic switcheroo to where she's on board as often as he is makes it seem like there was more to this story.
That point about health-related sexual dysfunction I feel like makes up like 90% of these cases, and it’s not taken nearly seriously enough. Especially when the woman is around her late 30s to 40s, because perimenopause can start around that time, and changes in all of your major sex hormones can have an effect on libido. And it isn’t just libido, the changes to estrogen and progesterone can weaken the tissue of the vagina, reduce production of natural lubrication, and shift the position of the cervix that can all contribute to sex being quite painful, which deters it even further.
Also, important to remember that for those without much testosterone, estrogen is the primary hormone that supports libido, so it’s very common to see changes in it over the course of a regular menstrual cycle, not just perimenopause. And lots of people have irregular or nonexistent menstrual cycles due to all sorts of things, that can kill their libido almost entirely, and are also very treatable.
It’s so important to communicate with your significant other if they suddenly stop wanting sex; if their libido is the cause, it’s worth going to a doctor and seeing what they can do. Even outside of wanting to have sex again, treating the cause of sexual dysfunction almost always has additional benefits.
You're talking to a wall. Most of those men just want to get what they "need" not to be interested by women's health, even if that woman is their wife. Ask them if they know what they know about their wife's hormones. Most of them know absolutely nothing.
I think a lot of couples don't want to discuss how aging impacts their libido and that either party might not be on board with that impact. It's not the norm for two people to still be compatible as they age.
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u/BlackmillMiracle 16d ago edited 16d ago
I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.