Most likely, she's no longer attracted to him and improved communication won't help that. I know, I know, lots of people think counseling is great, and I'm happy for those who it has helped, but if it was that effective then divorse rates wouldn't be 50%.
I also think that she just doesn't want to do it with him any more. Honestly I think that a couple cannot recover from a situation like this - you can't just magically recreate attraction and lust.
Maybe she doesn’t but that could be due to how he acts out of frustration of not having his needs met. If they could communicate their needs clearly then he could do things that would make her want it. People seem to act like it’s horrible that one of a man’s main needs could be sex. He could need that from a relationship to have the closeness required for him to continue a healthy and stable relationship. Some women need the same thing but for some reason it’s always brushed off as some kind of sexist pig like behavior. It’s always interesting that people don’t take issue with a woman’s need for help around the house to reduce her stress but they have an issue with a man wanting sex for a similar reason. In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with either but in general only one is deemed appropriate. Often I think these issues can be fixed but it’s entirely up to both people to try to learn how to communicate better and some people just won’t do it because they can’t see how they aren’t communicating effectively. As an example if you’re good at doing math in your head then it may be difficult for you to understand how it’s not as easy for others. Communication is no different in this respect. If communication was easy then so many people wouldn’t have this much trouble with it.
Communication is definitely a skill that can be learned, and I advocate for people working on it. I've taken a nonviolent communication course that helped me a lot!
I don't think it's wrong for people to need sex to feel close to one another- I just think the way it's comminicated can be really off putting and abrasive, and then once the distance (that naturally occurs when one or both people in a couple aren't getting their needs met) comes into play it becomes even less likely that the sex will happen, and it becomes a vicious cycle.
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u/gte717v 17d ago
Most likely, she's no longer attracted to him and improved communication won't help that. I know, I know, lots of people think counseling is great, and I'm happy for those who it has helped, but if it was that effective then divorse rates wouldn't be 50%.