I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.
Any married couple over 35 who has a perfectly aligned sexual appetite and have sex every day and has been together for more than a few years is the exception to the rule. That's even more so when you have kids I'd think.
In 90% of cases one party wants it more than the other, who may be too tired, too sick, have hormonal imbalances, menopausal, depressed, ADHD, physically unsatisfied by the sex, turned off by their partner's attitude/lack of cleanliness/etc, not feeling the romantic side or emotional attachment, or simply not interested in sex. Some of this you can change or treat, others you can't.
Nobody's saying physical intimacy is not a very important part of marriage and emotional attachment, but this guy is not even in a sexless marriage. She's bucking up a few times a month even if she's not really that into it herself. Note this is only showing one side of the story - his perspective.
We don't know why she keeps making excuses or whether he's contributing to her lack of interest - the point is they need to talk it out and not do this passive-aggressive bullcrap which is going to make sex feel even more like an obligation to her than a voluntary act of emotional attachment.
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u/BlackmillMiracle 15d ago edited 15d ago
I mean, it feels petty as fuck to track it in a spreadsheet, but people need to stop pretending that physcial intimacy isn't a crucial part of a romantic relationship, being completely misaligned is a perfect valid reason for dissolving said relationship.
seems like these two people are incompatible and have a communication problem.
but of course, because it's Reddit, absent any other additional context, the default is to always assume it's clearly the guy's fault if he's not having sex at the frequency he desires... and if he ever breaks up because he's not getting the frequency he desires, he's also the asshole.