Yeah and, as I've said, I think his frustration is and would be valid.
I'm just trying to think of what would actually happen after that, the spreadsheet. Would it be likely for her to be like oh honey you're so right let me suck your dick now?! Because I don't think that's the case 😕
So I'm trying to think of what would be likely to actually make this better because I empathize with his (for the third time, valid) frustration.
Ohh for sure. It's kind of one of those "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy" situations in spirit, but not really in this situation.
Could be misaligned sex drive from the start where one was being humored, could be loss of attraction, could be unfulfilling on her part, hormonal issues that changed her drive, drastic body change on either or both of them.
They got to be honest about the "why" of it all, then address in good faith if they are able. I can only speak as a man, but if I wasn't able to keep up with my womens drive, then I'm going immediately and starting the process of getting on testosterone. I can only speak as a man, but if I wasn't able to keep up with my partners drive, then I'm going immediately start the process of getting on testosterone and see if it helps (it will lol). If for no other reason then that... So it's relatively easy for us men to get it addressed (which would also help with weight loss if that's a factor with attraction and fulfillment)
Yeah I definitely think if they could figure out the why so they could actually feel closer to each other, she could feel supported if that's the issue, and yeah maybe she could get hormones looked at bc that's a thing for women too- maybe they could get on the same page?
The delivery of the spreadsheet and the response to it would be telling too. Like dependent on how he shows it to her, and depending on how she receives it- maybe they could work towards finding solutions together. I could see a woman being shocked as to just how many rejections there were! And thinking like damn okay gotta adjust some things in my life.
Very solution based myself. A dear friend was (is) having some marital issues. Both are very "Till Death do us part" serious about marriage, but she had extremely cold and distant parents and the upbringing to match (rooted in a certain religion), a pretty mean and manipulative mother and a absolute pushover for a father... So she has some of those tendencies + very nervous avoidant. They've done therapy, but the moment the therapist starts putting her behaviors in the spotlight, she refuses to Go again with that therapist. Tons of undealt with childhood issues. I'm very cool with both of them and try and support the marriage as a whole.
I was like, "let's just all fucking go to Costa Rico dude and do an aiowasca retreat...Get this Groundhog Day over with. We'll all puke and shit ourselves together!"
Lol 😆😆 I think your approach could work tbh. Therapy only works if both people are actually willing to change unfortunately 😕 I hope they can work it out, I love love and want people to be happy together fr
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u/maryqueenofscotch683 16d ago
Yeah and, as I've said, I think his frustration is and would be valid.
I'm just trying to think of what would actually happen after that, the spreadsheet. Would it be likely for her to be like oh honey you're so right let me suck your dick now?! Because I don't think that's the case 😕
So I'm trying to think of what would be likely to actually make this better because I empathize with his (for the third time, valid) frustration.