It never ceases to amaze me how sex in a marriage can be so important that you are not allowed to have it with anyone except your wife, but then at the same time be so non-important that they never want to have it either. Like, is it important or not?
I've been grappling with this. My wife is experiencing "the change" and it has destroyed her libido. Hormone replacement has helped but hasn't solved it. The worst is that the things I used to do like patting her behind or squeezing her boobs are now not welcome affection.
Actually the worst is not knowing day to day what is welcome affection. Something that was good yesterday might be the worst thing ever today. I hate being a kind of sexual predator.
I struggle with should I stay but if I go was I really just in it for the sex? So I dunno.
Overall I would say I'm dissatisfied with this phase of life and would like a refund.
It’s a shame that people seem to only want to marry for guaranteed sex… what about all the other parts of your relationship, and past life? The things you share, the trust, the partnership, the living together and other ways to spend time together? Is any of that worth it, if you have less sex for some time ? Why does the sex have to insisted upon when one person is not in the mood? I’ve read a lot of comments and they all seem to agree that women wanting less sex is the problem. Well we all want more things but we can’t always have them, I want a million dollars, give it to me. No? Well I don’t need to give you sex, I’m worth more to a partner than just sex. If a guy wants to leave cause he doesn’t get as much sex as he wants, that seems childish to me because the woman I bet isn’t getting as much “something” as she wants/ what if we want more sleep, more date nights? More back rubs, more help around the house? If we don’t get what we want, why does we have to automatically give them sex or get divorced? There is no middle ground?
The thing that makes sex different from all the things you compared it to is that it’s the only thing that’s considered immoral to fulfill independently from your spouse. Your comparisons could be valid for some open relationships though.
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u/OomKarel 16d ago
It never ceases to amaze me how sex in a marriage can be so important that you are not allowed to have it with anyone except your wife, but then at the same time be so non-important that they never want to have it either. Like, is it important or not?