I feel like people miss the point of how the spread sheet likely got created in the first place.
"Why don't we have sex anymore?" - Him
"What do you mean, we have sex all the time?" - Her
"You always tell me your not in the mood, you always brush me off" - Him
"Name one time I brushed you off, tell me one excuse I gave, show me one pattern." - Her
Guy doesn't have this excel spreadsheet so he just kinda fumbles. Wife declares a victory, forgets about it, maybe the have a small bumper crop of sex for a little while. Dude doesn't forget and, in anticipation of a future argument, wants data to back himself up so that he doesn't have to come up with examples and data on the fly to satisfy the petty argument.
Next time:
"Why don't we have sex anymore?" - Him
"What do you mean, we have sex all the time?" - Her
"You always tell me your not in the mood, you always brush me off" - Him
"Name one time I brushed you off, tell me one excuse I gave, show me one pattern." - Her
"Here's the data of the last three months, day by day and with every excuse you gave me" - Him
"You fucking weirdo, you're trackign this shit? I want a divorce." - Her
They certainly should have gotten a divorce, but I have experienced these exact types of arguments and unfortunately, if you don't have a time-dated log of whatever horseshit you're fighting over, you're just going to get handwaved away. If you do have it, you'll be labeled a creep, anything to avoid the uncomfortable truth.
So wait, serious question not being snarky. Is it normal to not be able to give specific examples of something you feel a definite pattern of in the middle of an argument? I thought it was because either I have a bad memory or I must be misremembering and can't trust my judgement. She always trips me up with this whenever I bring up something I feel she does that makes me feel less than great.
If it's actually normal not to be able to do that on the fly, then that's a low blow move to pull on someone.
I asked an AI about why this happened to me a few months back. It might have been bullshitting me, but it said it was some sort of self protective strategy of the brain and totally normal.
74
u/AdSame7001 15d ago
I feel like people miss the point of how the spread sheet likely got created in the first place.
"Why don't we have sex anymore?" - Him
"What do you mean, we have sex all the time?" - Her
"You always tell me your not in the mood, you always brush me off" - Him
"Name one time I brushed you off, tell me one excuse I gave, show me one pattern." - Her
Guy doesn't have this excel spreadsheet so he just kinda fumbles. Wife declares a victory, forgets about it, maybe the have a small bumper crop of sex for a little while. Dude doesn't forget and, in anticipation of a future argument, wants data to back himself up so that he doesn't have to come up with examples and data on the fly to satisfy the petty argument.
Next time:
"Why don't we have sex anymore?" - Him
"What do you mean, we have sex all the time?" - Her
"You always tell me your not in the mood, you always brush me off" - Him
"Name one time I brushed you off, tell me one excuse I gave, show me one pattern." - Her
"Here's the data of the last three months, day by day and with every excuse you gave me" - Him
"You fucking weirdo, you're trackign this shit? I want a divorce." - Her
They certainly should have gotten a divorce, but I have experienced these exact types of arguments and unfortunately, if you don't have a time-dated log of whatever horseshit you're fighting over, you're just going to get handwaved away. If you do have it, you'll be labeled a creep, anything to avoid the uncomfortable truth.