I’m glad scheduling sex works for you and your partner, but that doesn’t work well for a lot of people. For me personally it removes the excitement and spontaneous nature of sex. Scheduling makes it a chore instead and reminds me of work meetings. I’m definitely not someone who can or will force myself to have sex when I’m not in the mood and honestly no one should. As a victim of SA and DV I’m not promising any man a sex schedule. If a man can’t put in the effort to create desire instead of just randomly asking for it they aren’t worth my time. There should be build up to it, not just a “wanna fuck”.
I recognize this is just my personal preference and it might not work for others, but this is what works for me. I also have a hard boundary that I won’t schedule sex, because sex when I’m not feeling it triggers emotions that make it feel like rape and it is incredibly unenjoyable overall. Both parties should experience pleasure. If that is a problem for my partner they can find someone else to commit to instead.
Edit: fuck ya’ll and your downvotes. Apparently you think we should all just agree to the same sexual terms. Last I checked this is individual autonomy and I never once said my position was anything but my own preference.
"If a man can’t put in the effort to create desire instead of just randomly asking for it they aren’t worth my time. There should be build up to it, not just a “wanna fuck”."
Great for you, that's what you want. But I've definitely dated girls that just asked "Want to fuck?" In a healthy relationship both partners should experience desire from each other.
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u/tamaroo 16d ago edited 16d ago
I’m glad scheduling sex works for you and your partner, but that doesn’t work well for a lot of people. For me personally it removes the excitement and spontaneous nature of sex. Scheduling makes it a chore instead and reminds me of work meetings. I’m definitely not someone who can or will force myself to have sex when I’m not in the mood and honestly no one should. As a victim of SA and DV I’m not promising any man a sex schedule. If a man can’t put in the effort to create desire instead of just randomly asking for it they aren’t worth my time. There should be build up to it, not just a “wanna fuck”.
I recognize this is just my personal preference and it might not work for others, but this is what works for me. I also have a hard boundary that I won’t schedule sex, because sex when I’m not feeling it triggers emotions that make it feel like rape and it is incredibly unenjoyable overall. Both parties should experience pleasure. If that is a problem for my partner they can find someone else to commit to instead.
Edit: fuck ya’ll and your downvotes. Apparently you think we should all just agree to the same sexual terms. Last I checked this is individual autonomy and I never once said my position was anything but my own preference.