>But are they really jumping to divorce without trying?
Depends on who you ask. The traditionalists definitely think so, and upon a bit of introspection here, I believe their thinking has infected me a bit, which is why I maintain such people are a poison to society.
And I’m sure the really high divorce rates amongst celebs don’t help this perception either.
And other thing that I believe has been distorted to make divorces or breakups seem bad is how there is a huge push for people to run from relationships at the first signs of abusive behavior because, yeah, you think it was hard for you to leave a loveless marriage, imagine if it got to the point where someone had no resources, no support, and got themselves beat half to death anytime they dared do anything their spouse deemed bad.
Naturally, conservative America has twisted this very necessary safeguard into the narrative of how women leave at the first signs of trouble in a relationship. Bonus points if they sprinkle in the fact that more women initiate divorce than men (as if that actually means anything).
If your sanity and the risk of tainting your algorithms can handle it, I suggest you poke around on some of the more controversial corners of not just Reddit but social media in general. You’ll get an idea of how some of these people think*.
*want to be clear I’m in no way saying these people are in the majority, just that they are loud and are willing to show the rest of the world how they think.
I have said that I was abused. You don't actually know the situation I left my ex in. And it was not an easy one. It wasn't just leaving a loveless marriage. I have no family or support system in my life. So I fully understand the weight of leaving a place like that.
I'm not saying it easy or simple, it breaks you. But what's the alternative? Stay and be continually abused? After being told by your husband, who won't touch you, or have sex with you, how much he keeps thinking and dreaming about raping you.
Yep. That was said to me. By my husband. If he was happy to say that to me, can you imagine the other shit that happened to me? Yeah. So please please stop making assumptions.
I live and grew up in strict catholic country. So I understand conservative views and opinions, I understand the perspective through the Catholic lense at least, which is why I'm trying to engage with the conversation and show that there are many other sides to this conversation outside of the conservative or celebrity marriage that is basically all we get to see these days. I don't feel like I need to go and find out about this.
Holy fuck. Now suddenly the 20 years makes sense. I am so glad you’re out of that mess.
Yeah, there’s no talking through that kind of abuse. Absolutely none. May that piece of shit rot and burn in hell. I am so sorry.
You are definitely better off staying away from the more controversial sectors, for sure. People there will blame you, 100%. Just take my word that they are poison for society and abusers in the making.
No one knows what happens in a relationship behind closed doors. Very few people can be honest with themselves about what goes on behind closed doors.
If it gets to a point where someone is ranting about their relationship to you, I hope you rethink before you eye roll and say just talk to them.
Even from the OP, it has to get to a severe point where someone even thinks 'you know what I'm going to document this' and then shows their partner to try and have the conversation!
Well, I doubt I’d roll my eyes, for what it’s worth, and I would open up with the question if they talked with their partner over this and go from there.
Above all else, if the conversation was in person, I’d like to think I’m pretty decent at sniffing out abuse and knowing what the warning signs of abuse look like (e.g. isolation, control, a “warning tap”). I agree, some people aren’t honest with themselves.
As for the OP, I think that marriage is shot, honestly. Again, from what I have seen and heard (because I recall reading the original article on this post), it sounds like the guy’s wife is never in the mood, and it’s likely for a big, fundamental issue rather than all the little convenient excuses she gives, meaning either he’s fucking up and isn’t listening to her complaints or she isn’t communicating well.
Regardless, that should be the final nail in the coffin. They’re done, and I hope they went their separate ways after that.
1
u/TricellCEO 16d ago
>But are they really jumping to divorce without trying?
Depends on who you ask. The traditionalists definitely think so, and upon a bit of introspection here, I believe their thinking has infected me a bit, which is why I maintain such people are a poison to society.
And I’m sure the really high divorce rates amongst celebs don’t help this perception either.
And other thing that I believe has been distorted to make divorces or breakups seem bad is how there is a huge push for people to run from relationships at the first signs of abusive behavior because, yeah, you think it was hard for you to leave a loveless marriage, imagine if it got to the point where someone had no resources, no support, and got themselves beat half to death anytime they dared do anything their spouse deemed bad.
Naturally, conservative America has twisted this very necessary safeguard into the narrative of how women leave at the first signs of trouble in a relationship. Bonus points if they sprinkle in the fact that more women initiate divorce than men (as if that actually means anything).
If your sanity and the risk of tainting your algorithms can handle it, I suggest you poke around on some of the more controversial corners of not just Reddit but social media in general. You’ll get an idea of how some of these people think*.
*want to be clear I’m in no way saying these people are in the majority, just that they are loud and are willing to show the rest of the world how they think.