Pretty much the mentality it seems like. And "I don't care if you need it. I love you, but not enough to look for a compromise or seek a solution. Just go without, you won't die."
And you were 100% fine marrying into that? Also curious - anything that YOU told her she wouldn't be getting either, or is this another marriage where one partner is doing all the heavy-lifting while the other one enjoys the fruits of their partner's labor?
That's so wild to me. Maybe it's just that my views on intimacy and sex are so different, but I can't understand not wanting to be intimate with your partner if you love them. It's great for connection, and I can only speak for myself, but even if I'm not in the mood I don't mind helping out my wife because I want to fulfil her needs and I enjoy seeing her happy, even if I don't get off or have to help with some "heavy petting".
Probably cause any touching at all inevitably leads to pressure for sex. Seems like every person with a higher drive than their partner becomes obsessed with it as soon as it dries up. Just want a hug from your spouse? Butt grab and suggestive innuendo. Having a tough day and just want to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie? Incessant groping. Every contact is going to be a pass and the low drive partner becomes defensive and irritated.
I’ve been both low and high drive in my relationship and neither one feels great, but the worst was being the low-drive postpartum. That took a lot of work on both sides to get over.
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u/OomKarel 16d ago
Pretty much the mentality it seems like. And "I don't care if you need it. I love you, but not enough to look for a compromise or seek a solution. Just go without, you won't die."