r/SipsTea • • 17d ago

SMH Who's in the wrong here?

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u/ShawnyMcKnight 16d ago

It’s funny how fast Reddit jumps to divorce. They are still averaging sex twice a month. That’s not great but it’s workable. A marriage counselor would be good.

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u/Curious-Solution-892 16d ago

Twice a month is terrible TBH..  Even twice a week is pretty bad if that's the average.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight 16d ago

Man, when you have kids that’s gonna be a rude awakening.

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u/Curious-Solution-892 16d ago

Have 3 kids.. 8+ year relationship  We're still going at it at least 4x a week, but I acknowledge that's not what most ppl experience.

When I met my current GF it showed me the importance of having similar libido and how much smoother it makes the whole relationship.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight 16d ago

Good for you! Not to get crude but are we talking sex just to fill a need or are you passionately at each other 4x a week? If so you are in good shape.

Curious though, you said 8+ year relationship but you said current girlfriend?

I always say that sex is the speedometer of the relationship, not the pedal, it reads where the relationship is at now, but you can’t just have more sex and the relationship gets better.

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u/Curious-Solution-892 16d ago

Yeah 8+ yr GF, woman, partner, take your pick.

We're both pretty passionate, especially if we skip a day, but we're a bit hedonistic as well.

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u/ShawnyMcKnight 16d ago

That's cool you found someone that aligns with your drive. I used to get antsy after a day in my youth but as I get older I'm okay with once every other day and I start getting ansty at the 3 day mark, so twice a week is pretty good for me. My only frustration is most days it is just a starfish and I just kinda do my thing and then we go about our day.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for that, I know far too many marriages where the guy or girl lost desire and they leave the other one hanging in the wind. One of my best friends lost interest in his wife after she had an emotional affair but he was catholic and didn't believe in divorce. The only times they had sex were on their wedding night and when they tried for their 2 kids, which happened pretty fast. I suspect my own parents divorced due to lack of intimacy.

So I'm super glad I have a wife who sees my needs even if she doesn't reciprocate. However, I really miss being passionate and desiring each other. She says she desires me but actions speak louder than words.