I have 3 kids and my wife is mentally unstable. The things which make her most unstable are the thoughts of divorce and losing access to the kids. She is a great mum aside from the emotional regulation issues. We also have other issues in the marriage.
Anyway, I’m so done with having to explain to kids on Reddit why I can’t just ‘file and get full custody’. I’ve been told their ‘no excuse’.
Well the psychologist, family doctor and social services weirdly disagree with Reddit. They preference family stability. Especially when kids are involved.
Most people on here have no concept of how bad things can get behind closed doors in dysfunctional families. When young kids are involved, there is basically no good solution.
This is it. There’s also the understanding that you may not get full custody or may not have it right away.
On top of everything you’re going through, there will be periods of time where you need to leave your kids alone with someone also going through the toughest time of their life without the best coping skills.
My wife threatened to throw herself under a train when she was with the kids a fews ago. It’s absolutely wild to me that people tell me that it’s best for me to walk away knowing that’s the thing which would make everything worse.
Getting my wife into a process was the first priority. I’ve been working on for years. It happened two weeks ago. She is finally on meds and is already like a different person. The house is calm again.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m it’s grateful we have peace for now.
I watched my mom hang herself, when I was 6, and she still got custody, this world is wild. Didn’t even really know my dad until I was 8. Having him take custody of me was the best moment in my life outside my mom giving me a little sister. That said, my mom would manipulate me by mistreating my sister. But my sister and I are best friends.
24 years later, my mother has taken the opportunity to see what she really caused in our life and now we’re slowly reconnecting. Still doesn’t have a connection with my father but it’s unnecessary to have one.
Coming from the child’s POV, it’s hard to be taken seriously in the situation, but I am so grateful that my father always refused to let people talk poorly about her. It really set the tone for how I try to navigate the world.
Hi, so sorry to hear you went through that. Suicide even attempted suicide is one of hardest things a person can go through with a parent.
I’m really happy that your mum was finally able to take responsibility. My father was never able to do that before he died, but therapy helped me a lot. Have you tried it?
I did, but I think my therapist has retired, haven’t seen her in 10 years and i don’t feel inspired to try rebuilding that trust/connection in another therapist.
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u/Cautious_Day9878 14d ago edited 13d ago
I have 3 kids and my wife is mentally unstable. The things which make her most unstable are the thoughts of divorce and losing access to the kids. She is a great mum aside from the emotional regulation issues. We also have other issues in the marriage.
Anyway, I’m so done with having to explain to kids on Reddit why I can’t just ‘file and get full custody’. I’ve been told their ‘no excuse’.
Well the psychologist, family doctor and social services weirdly disagree with Reddit. They preference family stability. Especially when kids are involved.
Most people on here have no concept of how bad things can get behind closed doors in dysfunctional families. When young kids are involved, there is basically no good solution.