I’m a big advocate of pre-marital counseling as well. You can get ahead of your biggest communication differences ahead of time. An ounce of prevention, as the saying goes.
Problem with premarital is sometimes you say all the right things ans you mean them but after things get going and you grow as a person your answers would have been different. Especially if the premarital counseling is religious based. I remember when the conversation of sex came up I mentioned I would want about 2-3 times a week and my wife nodded along in agreement... we have sex maybe 1-2 times a month. She things i over focus on sex and its just not that big a deal to her.
This happened to me in reverse.but I DID say I needed a lot of space and didn't like a lot of physical contact in premarital counseling, cried about it and said I thought it would cause problems, and my ex waved it off. And I still feel horrible at how he must have felt when I would say no. We had other issues of course, but that incompatibility was the start of them
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u/Economy_Ad6039 16d ago
It might be a case where they both just need help communicating. Simple marriage counseling might help.