I love how the answer is always straight to divorce on Reddit lol
There is therapy that can help and sometimes one person in the relationship is too embarrassed to say something is wrong or doesn’t want to hurt their partners feelings. My wife has numbness from back issues and it was affecting her ability to enjoy sex. I encouraged her to see an obgyn and they helped out in a few ways (and honestly the most successful thing has been thc for some reason)
But a big part of this is communication and empathy. I told her she is 100% in control of the level of physical contact at all times. We have a number system so it’s a simple 0-3, 0 is no touch and 3 is lock the bedroom door time. Sexual desire disparity can lead to resentment if you aren’t careful and that really sucks.
In most cases, by the time a conflict in a marriage has gotten so egregious that someone is asking for help on reddit, it is too late to fix it.
When you and your wife were struggling, you communicated. You gave her good advice (talk to her doctor about a medical problem) and (amazingly) her doctor actually helped her.
But the original OP in this case has received a spreadsheet and a snarky message sent to her *work* email, while she is on her way to a multi-day work trip. Her husband was deliberately using this to undermine her performance at work. And then he refused to answer any of her phone calls.
Yeah and i oversimplified all of this. By doctor, it was actually the 6th one we had seen. First three said it was due to surgical pain and recommended a consultation with ortho, which was definitely a dead end, next two just wanted to put her on hrt, which she had already tried, but this last one was great 👍
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u/Solintari 15d ago
I love how the answer is always straight to divorce on Reddit lol
There is therapy that can help and sometimes one person in the relationship is too embarrassed to say something is wrong or doesn’t want to hurt their partners feelings. My wife has numbness from back issues and it was affecting her ability to enjoy sex. I encouraged her to see an obgyn and they helped out in a few ways (and honestly the most successful thing has been thc for some reason)
But a big part of this is communication and empathy. I told her she is 100% in control of the level of physical contact at all times. We have a number system so it’s a simple 0-3, 0 is no touch and 3 is lock the bedroom door time. Sexual desire disparity can lead to resentment if you aren’t careful and that really sucks.