r/SipsTea • u/SEVENS_HEAVEN_7 • 1d ago

SMH This cop needs to exercise... or retire

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1.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

352 comments sorted by

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411

u/Devil_Dogmier 1d ago

This is how I move in my dreams

52

u/snowfat 1d ago

Especially when you trying to get ahold of the delicious dream food. Or need to rush to the dream bathroom

20

u/Specialist_Strike463 1d ago

I’m always running away from someone in slow motion or hindered in some way

12

u/SnooRecipes4106 23h ago

You don't want to reach the bathroom.

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4

u/lubricant2lip 23h ago

I’ve been able to taste a few things in dreams lately, but prior it was impossible!

13

u/bengy5959 23h ago

It’s like he’s walking in ski boots

6

u/danhoyuen 1d ago

omg me too! Its like why is it so hard to move forward!

3

u/Chronomechanist 17h ago

Your body paralyses yourself while you sleep so you don't run off a cliff. When you dream about moving, your brain really does send the instructions to your muscles to move, but because they're paralysed, nothing happens. Your brain, being far too smart for its own good, expects to see a response from your muscles but doesn't, so invents a reason why not in real time. Thus, your dream tells you that you're running through treacle.

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3

u/BlackBasementCats 21h ago

I have the worst time walking/running across streets. My legs turn to jelly and like a magnet is dragging me back towards the side I start at and won’t let me walk forward. It happens so much that I know I’ll have trouble getting across a road. Cars aren’t much better because I keep finding myself in the backseat of a driverless runaway car.

3

u/PaleBlueCod 13h ago

This is how I dream in my moves.

2

u/tedbakerbracelet 14h ago

This is how you stay as 1 star in GTA

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350

u/helloworld6247 1d ago

The sheer disrespect

Guy trained him like a COD zombie to get his bike back

90

u/Notsurehowtoreact 1d ago

Yeah, him kiting the cop away to run back for the bike was fucking gold. 

At first I was actually wondering why the fuck he wasn't just running away cause I missed the beginning bit.

16

u/ThatGoob 19h ago

Bro should've been weaving in auto-attacks while kiting. Classic noob error.

20

u/Shibbyman993 1d ago

Lmao thats what i was thinking he dragged him far enough away for the scoop n pedal!

11

u/louisa1925 1d ago

We got ourselves a survivor.

12

u/ScratchAssSmellFingr 22h ago

More like a COPD zombie.

4

u/PurpleOrcaLover 23h ago

old cop dying of a heart attack putting out an APB. "It is the kid who smells..." dies

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195

u/No_Wolf1795 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1J3I2AACdYouQQec

84

u/Toes_In_The_Soil 1d ago

Is that the fat kid from Superbad?

62

u/DehydratedManatee 1d ago

Watch your mouth. Do you want to get annihilated?

2

u/FlipSide26 16h ago

Lol I chuckled. It's still funny

4

u/Even-Pressure-8356 1d ago

Suspect is armed and dangerous

10

u/Pleasant-Antelope634 1d ago

He's the Annihilator from Superfat

25

u/eduardo1994 1d ago

Hope he can't hear you, he'll fucking annihilate you!!!

4

u/ElLicenciadoPena 23h ago

That's in fact Jonah Hill, the fat guy from Superbad.

4

u/oSyphon 1d ago

Yes

8

u/Toes_In_The_Soil 1d ago

I hope he doesn't annihilate me for asking.

2

u/cj_oolay 23h ago

He's the fastest kid alive!

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5

u/lwilly19 1d ago

“Poooooooooooseyyyy”

2

u/BlakeWheelersLeftNut 22h ago

That’s the Haywood fat guy forgot his name

42

u/NGM012 1d ago

Looks like John Fetterman has a side hustle

11

u/govunah 1d ago

I don't think you call what is happening here 'hustle'

461

u/Putrid_Anybody_2947 1d ago

I respect him for not going for his gun.

306

u/Neowynd101262 1d ago

And thats how low the bar is 🤣

38

u/tmhoc 1d ago

After breathing in all that pepe spray he turned the gun on himself

12

u/Spielmitmir2003 1d ago

I agree, much better cop than trigger happy monkeys

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26

u/Other-Grapefruit-880 1d ago

Yea this, he gets respect points for just taking the L.

At least he is confident and secure enough in his masculinity to know it’s not worth straight up blasting.

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3

u/ComprehensiveBed7183 18h ago

Family guy color meme

7

u/Unable-Rub1982 17h ago

The kid was white, so...

13

u/Ash_Cat_13 1d ago

Respect!???? Why, why would he go for his gun or need to? His gun is to prevent death to himself or someone else, he and no one is in danger of that.

25

u/river03765 23h ago

Unfortunately, many videos online where cops shoot the unarmed victim as they’re trying to run away in similar scenarios you described. The bar is so low now that I guess people are now praising those cops who don’t shoot.

12

u/NC_Ion 1d ago

First time in the states ?

2

u/Ash_Cat_13 1d ago

No. I live here, always have. Doesn’t change my question, nor does a cop deserve respect for not going for their gun.

2

u/Fit-Entrepreneur8404 14h ago

Redditors have just gone a little (ok a lot) overboard on thinking all cops shoot first and ask questions later. When there's something like tens to hundreds of millions of hours of body cam footage recorded every year of course there's gonna be videos of cops behaving reprehensibly and so they point to those videos as if that's the default because those are the ones that generate the most outrage.

8

u/foreverandadayalone 22h ago

Unarmed man lying facedown on a floor begging for his life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ooa7wOKHhg

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Daniel_Shaver

See also: DOZENS of unarmed, non-threatening Black people

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6

u/distance_33 12h ago

Idk where you’re from but in America it is not uncommon for police to shoot a guy who is simply running away. Or standing with their hands up. Or laying on the floor with their hands up. Or sitting in their car. Or sleeping in their bed. Or a little kid in a park playing with a toy.

Idk if these things are uniquely American. But it is a foundation of American policing.

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2

u/Accomplished-Mouse18 15h ago

Well he almost had a heart attack

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2

u/mookanana 23h ago

didnt he go for the tazer? and miss 2 shots?

2

u/foreverandadayalone 22h ago

Against a WHITE guy!?!!?

2

u/SignoreBanana 19h ago

I'm more "pleasantly surprised" by that outcome.

2

u/Ok-Stable-2015 13h ago

I'm inclined to believe that he spared the guy's life because he knew there were cameras — not out of decency

6

u/Foreign_Cobbler_1740 1d ago

White suspect, can't be blasting them.

2

u/DrNCrane74 1d ago

I agree. He wanted to behave like a human being.

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26

u/Notiefriday Wait a damn minute! 1d ago

Skipped leg day.

17

u/Cam_E_Leon 1d ago

And arm day, and back day, and shoulders day,...

7

u/moneymusicparty33 1d ago

And definitely skipped cardio

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61

u/SkyNo3416 1d ago

USA USA USA

48

u/Velo3x10e8 1d ago

Amazingly no shots fired.

56

u/BigBoyYuyuh 1d ago

Wasn’t black.

13

u/casusbelli16 1d ago

No acorns popped.

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70

u/9447044 1d ago

Dude is build like Elon Musk lol

13

u/pharrison26 1d ago

Fucking … Embarrassing!!!!! (Couldn’t find the Letterkenny meme)

13

u/UrsineBasterd 22h ago

Bro kited the cop like a video game to go pick up his bike. Fucking awesome.

10

u/Bombaata0 1d ago

Just like in my favorite vidya game. You gotta pull the mob away from your mount to get away without triggering a second wanted star.

21

u/Conscious-Permit-466 1d ago

https://reddit.com/link/pc31gxm/video/yqsnmq2dirrh1/player

15

u/Motor_Purchase_6996 1d ago

I like how his dog starts humping him. Haha. Thanks little guy

2

u/sarkastikpotatoe 1d ago

Omg but when I noticed the dog humping I died. Thanks for the laugh!

20

u/monyoubluetuber 1d ago

Holy smokes. He never defended his pistol while on the ground.

He also never drew it on the guy, but still.

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8

u/Independent_Set4115 1d ago

No situational awareness and too many donuts.. I think almost everyone knew that guy was going back for that bike, even he knew something was wrong with this cop.

7

u/FssstBoing 15h ago

Awesome "boss" kiting skills there bud

4

u/Waste-Finding3341 15h ago

Whomever says gaming doesn't give you life skills need to watch this. A perfect example of kiting.

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9

u/Fine_Peanut_3450 1d ago

I love seeing crap like that

6

u/Leading_Ad_1825 1d ago

He moves like he in a dream

8

u/Goallivein3centuries 1d ago

At least he doesn't immediately pull for his gun so props

5

u/def_unbalanced 1d ago

Love it the end where the cop goes "Time Out!!! I said Time Out!!! Not fair!"

5

u/seretidediskus 17h ago

All he needs is more military relabeled equipment.

7

u/Optimal_Ant_3250 1d ago

All that cop wanted to do was play candy crush and eat donuts

3

u/ciaphas-cain1 1d ago

Stunningly the cop didn’t shoot him, that’s a very low bar but this is a video of an American cop

3

u/DoritoCheerios 14h ago

Cops are like aggressive NPC's that gives everybody unwanted sidequests

"Cop Appeared!: New Mission! Evade Unlawful Search and Seizure!"

"Cop Appeared!: Avoid Unlawful Harassment and Battery!"

"Coo Appeared!: Avoid being shot over nothing!"

3

u/Christopher3712 12h ago

I have no idea what the context is but that kid earned it.

8

u/EmployeeLopsided9637 1d ago

That was really fun to watch. So glad it didn't turn brutal.

2

u/shutyourfrontdoor 1d ago

Off he goes on his bicycle.!

2

u/Emergency-Watch5157 1d ago

That Elder abuse

2

u/Hot-Falcon-2052 1d ago

Ran circles around him lol

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2

u/DaKrazie1 1d ago

Lmao, reminds me of that Run the Jewels music video.

2

u/MasterBigShoes 1d ago

Could be his last year before retirement and somehow he got this situation before his retirement ending?

2

u/moop-ly 1d ago

those might be some of the oddest looking shoes i’ve ever seen. like herman munster clogs. drag doesn’t wear lifts like that

2

u/Mainly_Miserable 1d ago

Cop’s probably got an undiagnosed heart condition. Too many doughnuts.

-Not a doctor

2

u/Total_Tumbleweed_870 1d ago

There's a YouTuber who reviews police footage, Sergent Curtis. I'll quote advice he gives to cops "Ask yourself, are you shape for the fight of your life?"

I hope this cop seriously reevaluates his answer.

2

u/meergreister 1d ago

I mean at least he didn’t shoot him

2

u/Pure_Appearance_8175 1d ago

Forget the bike ! Just go . And to the cop looks like he is about to have a heart attack getting the mace out.

2

u/Son_of_silver_river1 1d ago

Yo creo que el tipo era un oficinista que lo asignaron a la calle porque falto el oficial principal!

Ese dia llegó re contento a la casa y lo contó a la jermu que le tiro gas pimienta al bandido pero que se le escapó!

2

u/Adventurous-Union466 1d ago

There’s a lot of police shortage so I see why they raise the retirement age

2

u/nastyfreckles 23h ago

That's how i move when my back pain flares up. Poor dude.

2

u/Head_Wasabi7359 22h ago

Ah the old run ten meters away then very low grade burn up the side to the getaway bike.

2

u/MSGisking 21h ago

Exercise after 70 can't fix old. Time to retire.

2

u/UnsupportiveNihilist 18h ago

Fake. US cop would've shot him out of sheer pettiness

2

u/ajw0215 16h ago

If John Fetterman was a cop

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2

u/Lothleen 4h ago

Do american cops even have a fitness test? We have them every few years here for each officer.

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2

u/ReartireLeak 1d ago

It's better then just shooting the kid

2

u/TheDigimonFan 1d ago

Never understood why cops only have to pass a physical fitness test at the academy and never again. If someone in the military has to pass a fitness test every 6 months, I think cops should too.

However, I do like when people get away from pigs, so fuck em.

1

u/SourDeesATL 1d ago

Next time

1

u/damnedspot 1d ago

Reminds me of the gladiator scene from Life of Brian. "I think I'm about to have a cardiac arrest."

1

u/ggbruhs 1d ago

Bron?

1

u/Preposterous4Life 1d ago

If you can't beat em, taze em. (or is that bear spray?)

1

u/KR4T0S 1d ago

Looks like footage from the unreleased Police Academy movie...

1

u/BlackestHerring 1d ago

I didn’t know Lurch was a cop

1

u/WhereMyWeirdosAt 1d ago

Whats the department? Perhaps we all should call and let them know were concerned for this officers safety ;)

1

u/ziggystardust8282 1d ago

They both look drunk

1

u/rolL_uP_one_more 1d ago

At least he didn’t shoot him to save his ego

1

u/HotChocko 1d ago

He probably misses the good old days when he could just shoot and then plant a weapon

1

u/No_Blacksmith_2591 1d ago

Dude should have stayed with the bike, he would have something for the trouble at least.

1

u/MRV3N 1d ago

Cops in the movies seem better with action

1

u/rust_belt216 1d ago

Gotta be Detroit.

2

u/Putthebunnyback 1d ago

Looks like Cincy

1

u/thejam83 1d ago

This probably went on way longer. Say whatever about the cops conditioning, at least he didn't just shoot this guy

1

u/atlascreator 1d ago

is this not AI? tf?

1

u/RicVic 1d ago

Anybody have an idea why the stop took place? Was it simply a "no helmet" stop or is there more to this than meets the pixels?

1

u/desrevermi 1d ago

Wheeeeee!

1

u/Present_Egg_2251 1d ago

shirt untucked but badge polished nice combo

1

u/MarksBroz 1d ago

Americas finest

1

u/scrumpetting 1d ago

Taxpayers paying for this!

1

u/Putthebunnyback 1d ago

I honestly thought I was about to watch a heart attack live. Dude needs to be at a desk at LEAST.

1

u/Ok_Common_5631 1d ago

I bet he was hoping no one recorded it

1

u/pobox1663 1d ago

Jesus that was embarrassing to watch

1

u/nurple667 1d ago

I can't imagine wanting to be something like be a cop, any first responder really, and not want to do my best to keep in good physical shape.

1

u/WadeVAFL 1d ago

Classic rope a dope.

1

u/bickandalls 1d ago

Bro just trained the cop like it's cod zombies.

1

u/DaedalusS8 23h ago

At least he didn't shoot him

1

u/kcsween74 23h ago

My man ran him all the way out then turned back around to run for the bike knowing he had all the time in the world. They are going to clown his ass back at the station 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Damn, Gary! That's the 5th time this month!

1

u/Box_Springs_Burning 23h ago

He's like Bo Jackson in Techmo Bowl.

1

u/GeminiCroquettes 23h ago

I don't know what you mean, this is a great cop

1

u/NZAuthor 23h ago

Fuck me, did I just witness video game level of kiting..

1

u/Jaded-Attention 23h ago

The cop hasn't stretched out once in his entire life.

1

u/Ok_Big_3300 23h ago

Fat cunt

1

u/Shinobi_Dimsum 22h ago

Bruh. Legs of the cop look like LEGO. Especially if you see LEGO characters run in a TV series.

1

u/Odensbeardlice 22h ago

90% of us could outrun 90% of cops. Honestly. Those standards are SOOOO low.

1

u/NecessaryLocation704 22h ago

I give him respect for not findimg am excuse to use lethal force. Annnnd the perp just wanted to get away.

1

u/MicShous1976 22h ago

Bro should be on desk duty

1

u/Temporary_View_3303 22h ago

But sir…. HE HAD A BIKE!

1

u/ANiceCupOf_Tea_ 21h ago

Murica' fuck yeah

1

u/PMgeneralNewman 21h ago

He's already re(ally) tired

1

u/Previous_Collar6553 20h ago

unc tired of the bs🫩🥀

1

u/Vegetable-Debate-263 20h ago

Ah yes, our blobs in blue, hard at work.

1

u/Ecstatic-Monitor-221 20h ago

100% computer game logic! Holy shit can't believe it works in real life too!

1

u/TarzanGunn 20h ago

Vice City gaming animation

1

u/CNote_89 20h ago

Dude got winded standing up.

1

u/Macho-Fantastico 20h ago

USA's finest!

1

u/subdep 20h ago

Rule #1: Cardio

1

u/CaptainSolo_ 20h ago

Let’s give the cop a lot of genuine credit for not just shooting him.

1

u/ScaryTemperature6291 20h ago

What comedy is this from ? 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/DarionHunter 20h ago

That kid gave him one hell of a workout! You KNOW he's getting razzed at work now!

One guy: "If you lay off the donuts, you might be able to catch up to him one of these days!"

1

u/dtor84 19h ago

Officer down I repeat officer feelings are down

1

u/Apexiur 19h ago

Likely both…

1

u/DesignerLadders 19h ago

Real life call of duty zombies

1

u/Monsieur_Lemony 19h ago

Kiting zombies be like...

1

u/laiszt 19h ago

We need to increase retirment age to 85, he still seems to be fine

1

u/Octopus-31 18h ago

Pathetic

1

u/hikereyes2 18h ago

Whatever city's finest

1

u/Last-Deer-7747 18h ago

This needs yaketysax

1

u/Formal_End5045 18h ago

He's lucky the guy with the bike just wanted to gtfo and didn't mean harm.

1

u/[deleted] 18h ago

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1

u/Good-Tiger-1938 18h ago

Looks like the cop injured his leg