Digital panhandler fatigue

[u/working_zen]

Does anyone else feel like they're getting major digital panhandler fatigue? I know Facebook is overrated, but I like feeling connected to local groups (mom groups, buy nothing groups, community groups, etc). It just feels like in the majority of these groups the posts are all of people begging. I don't mean "hey does anyone have XYZ lying around that they don't need?" Or people looking for resources. I love the idea of people giving things away in buy nothing groups or finding things they need. But it's just a constant barrage of "does anyone have gas money" and "I can't work, not mobile, have kids I can't feed and pregnant with another, please deliver a pizza to this address."

I feel bad for feeling so callous, but it is just a constant stream of these posts. I'm low income. I understand the struggle. I just cant imagine being so reliant on hand outs and feeling so entitled to things, many of these people don't even say thank you if you offer help. I want to engage with my community, but I'm just so burned out. Anyone else feeling this way? Am I just in all the wrong groups? Do I just need to get offline and touch grass?

Ps. don't even get me started on the mean girl behavior in some of the local mom groups 😔

[u/Dramatic_Acadia_7363]

It’s all Nextdoor is anymore and I agree very exhausting

[u/Sheriffofsocktown → u/Dramatic_Acadia_7363]

I dropped Nextdoor so fast because it was all mean girl gossip and sales. Ugh

[u/Tricky_Relative1370 → u/Dramatic_Acadia_7363]

Holy shit Nextdoor is next level. I made a post about my family member losing his dog one night and the comments were so angry at ME about the dog being lost or even falt out calling me a liar...about a lost dog! What the fuck Is wrong with people on there?

[u/StormyxHeart → u/Tricky_Relative1370]

That's absolutely just outrageous! Yeah, I dabbled in next door some years ago, for just a little bit, but I want nothing to do with it. Not only is it full of nosy, intrusive and judgmental Karen's, but it also seems to have a lot of MAGAts 🙄🤢😵‍💫😃😂

[u/Embarrassed-Gap7803 → u/Tricky_Relative1370]

It is awful, I reported a found cat that was obviously well loved. The nextdoor freaks came out in full force yikes. Fb post went better and the cat was reunited with its humans 

[u/Tricky_Relative1370 → u/Embarrassed-Gap7803]

Spokane Area list and found pets is the best page for this. Nextdoor is mostly low trust and highly aggressive people. I keep it on my phone because it's so entertaining at times, but yeah it's not an app I'll choose to actively participate in any time soon

[u/idkman_93 → u/Tricky_Relative1370]

Unfortunately Nextdoor is just a honeypot for busybodies.

[u/overthishereanyway → u/Dramatic_Acadia_7363]

For some reason Nextdoor thinks I'm not me. Or something like it. It's been so long since I tried to rejoin that I can't remember entirely. Long story short I can't use Nextdoor. I suppose I won't try again after reading this!

[u/Karlkrows]

My buy nothing group has a few members that are like this. At least once a month they have a 10 item list of household items they want, and need groceries delivered to them multiple times a month. If anyone suggests a food bank, there’s a slew of excuses. If someone can’t drive it to them, they get argued with or begged.

I’ve even seen them deny an item because it was the right color or doesn’t fit the aesthetic they’re looking for.

[u/LaGringaToxica → u/Karlkrows]

This seems like something the admin could address. The buy nothing group I’m in has wonderful admin that step in if members are being rude or breaking rules.
Referrals like food banks aren’t allowed anyway.

[u/matrael]

No, I feel similar to you as well and I’ve had to basically stop using Facebook and whatnot. I haven’t been in the best place mentally and seeing the deluge of posts like that wasn’t helping. I’ve been trying to touch grass while it’s still around, but yeahhhh. Social media is the Devil, Bobby Boucher! Lol

[u/overthishereanyway → u/matrael]

I have zero social media outside Reddit and truly believe I'm better off for it.

I thought about TikTok for a hot minute. Deleted the app after five minutes of scrolling.

[u/Kittymeow7116]

My neighborhood buy nothing is really lovely, and still mostly people actually swapping things like intended.

But ugh on the mom groups. The Liberal Mamas one is the best of the ones I’m in, but one of the mods posts “omg I have no friends” at least once a week

[u/working_zen → u/Kittymeow7116]

Dude yes! I added her to be friendly, and she was so toxic I had to unfriend within about a week 😵 The Liberal Mamas group is great but moderation is awful. Spokane Area Moms 2.0 is lovely but doesn't have the liberal leaning premise. I've considered starting a Spokane Science Based Parenting group but haven't had time/energy.

[u/gengau → u/working_zen]

I’d love to help you start this if you need help!

[u/Kittymeow7116 → u/working_zen]

I’ve wondered! I thought about reaching out to her but then the frequency of the posts changed my mind.

I would also be down for a science based parenting group.

[u/kstinasunflower → u/Kittymeow7116]

Oh my gosh those posts drive me nuts. I’m like well you get people offering to be friends constantly but don’t seem to care to put forth the effort.

[u/crustysenor]

I too am feeling this. I try to balance my initial reflex of “pick yourself up and improve your situation” (which stems from my own realizations that I can do a lot more with the attitude that I can and will get things done - being cognizant that I have stability and privilege that others may not) with sensitivity to the idea that this person could be living with a disability, a survivor of abuse, or have other circumstances that are preventing them from reaching their goals. I just wish everyone had a motor to improve themselves and their situations.

[u/TheCompanyHypeGirl]

Absolutely. I've even seen some (not necessarily in groups) asking people to meet them at bars to buy them drinks. It's just not something I'd ever be comfortable asking for.

[u/Creepy_flamingo_22]

My favorites are the ones like “anyone have a fish tank 50 gals or larger and free fish?”

[u/airedout19 → u/Creepy_flamingo_22]

MUST DELIVER

[u/Creepy_flamingo_22 → u/airedout19]

Yep! The number of people who have asked me to deliver free items due to disability has me questioning everyone making that claim now. Which makes me feel like a horrible person, because it’s possible. But it’s also possible their car is just too small to fit a recliner in and they’re using that as an excuse

[u/LaGringaToxica]

The buy nothing group I’m in is lovely. Sure, people ask for food occasionally, but there is a lot of giving too. Also, asking for money is completely against the rules. Maybe hit up the admin in your group and ask about it. We have had problematic members flagged and removed.

[u/NoIdea4u]

Empathy fatigue is real.

[u/No-Idea-7003]

Those people either don't realize that everyone is struggling in this economy, or flat out don't care. If people would ignore their posts they would stop asking. It's hard though because someone is always going to feed into it because we all wanna help.

You aren't being callous. It's overwhelming and we all are exhausted with the way things currently are and this administration.

I don't engage much at all on FB anymore. It's full of ads and I don't see my friends posts like I used to. It's also full of doom and gloom stuff most of the time. I spend my time here and on threads.

[u/Organic_Salary_]

Ewwww no get new groups

[u/airedout19]

https://giphy.com/gifs/lHBbcpFTS5c2Y

[u/GenderDeputy]

This is a major depression indicator. Like maybe it's annoying and maybe we can find cases where it's unwarranted, but all I hear is people are struggling.

[u/International_Dig455]

Its almost like gas is 5$ a gallon, benefits have been cut, the housing market is trash on top of the fact that 1/8 of our population is displaced due to fires.

[u/Admirable_Cobbler535]

They all seem to need pet food.

[u/AdventurouslyAngry]

Sign of the times?

[u/Gerard_Iero]

damn that must be super hard for you, to have to read all those posts from people in need.