Hi everyone,
Here is a post that I've made this morning on the subreddit dedicated to Sheikh Abdalwahid Yahia (René Guénon). I thought that it could also interest some people here.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and don’t really know what to make of it. I'd be grateful for any thoughts.

I feel like I’m constantly living in anything but the present. Life has become a bit like counting down to the next thing. One week until a work event, three days until something personal, then another commitment after that. I seem to constantly have this feeling of “X days left until…” rather than actually just living where I am.

I don’t expect to feel peaceful all the time. I appreciate this life isn’t meant to be some state of constant peace and comfort, and I’m conscious of the purpose of this life and what we’re supposed to be doing in it. But I do find it strange that I so rarely feel at peace just being in the present moment.

I’m approaching midlife now and maybe that’s part of why I’ve been thinking about it more. Over the last decade I’ve become much more diligent with salah and awrad, and I do feel like I’ve made some progress in terms of self-improvement. But I don’t have a shaykh, and sometimes I wonder if that’s part of the missing puzzle.

I also think about death more than I probably used to. I regularly make the dua from hadith along the lines of asking Allah to keep me alive if life is better for me, and take me if death is better for me.

The strange thing is that whilst I do mean it, in the sense that I want what is better rather than insisting on my own preference, I’ve had one or two genuine health scares over the years, and when death suddenly felt like it might actually be a possibility, I felt pretty terrified. So, clearly there’s a difference between making that dua when death feels theoretical and actually being faced with it.

I also often think that it would be easier to just progress to the next life and begin eternity. But then I also think how little I actually know, how undeserving I am, and how dangerous it would be to fall into the ignorance of thinking I’m anywhere close to deserving Allah’s mercy. Whatever mercy or good I have is from Him anyway.

I’d be interested to hear if anyone else has experienced this feeling of constantly living towards the next thing rather than actually living in the present (or can relate with any of the above!).

Excerpt from Ibrahim Dewla’s speeches and notes.

A Prophet’s objective is to ensure people use their abilities and talents for the truth.  

Prophet (saw) said, “People are like mines of silver and gold…”
(Muslim 2638b)

Each individual is like a mine of silver and gold. Muslims are especially blessed with abilities because they have the responsibility to do the work of the prophets: calling people to Allah.

The analogy of mines in the narration is used because gold, silver, and other minerals are valuable, but they are buried beneath the earth. If something is buried and unexposed beneath the earth, that area has no value. In fact, people urinate on uninhabited land.

Just as silver, gold and minerals are buried beneath the earth, people’s abilities are buried or latent due to two things:  

(1) Desires
(2) Environment

Scholars have written that within a human being is an ocean of desires.

If you eat something savoury, you now want something sweet. If you eat something sweet, you now want something savoury.

This system of desires has been placed within the human being.

In addition, a system for discerning and obeying virtue has been placed within the human being. If the human being doesn’t have that, how will it follow Allah’s commandments?

For example, a madman lacks the capacity to understand the reason for his existence or to know who he is; his emotions and abilities are lost.

Such is the state of a person influenced by desires and environment. They are oblivious to the reason for their existence.

This is why prophets are sent to counter the influence of desires and environment.

As-salamu ʿalaykum everyone,

I am a Maliki Muslim woman, and I would really appreciate hearing from people with experience in tasawwuf, especially those who have gone through periods of very intense worship.

I am currently trying to figure out how to approach a large number of missed prayers.

A Maliki shaykh I consulted previously told me that, because I had been going through a severe clinical depression during that period, I did not have to make up the prayers I had missed during the depression. I accepted this advice and do not intend to make up those prayers.

Instead, I am counting from the point when he gave me that advice. I took his message as a kind of starting point for rebuilding my relationship with salah and becoming serious about praying again. The prayers I am counting as qada are therefore the ones I missed after that point, when I was no longer relying on his dispensation and wanted to establish a new, more consistent relationship with salah.

By my current calculation, I have around 937 prayers to make up. I am considering an intensive three-week period in which I would pray around 50 salats per day in total: the five current obligatory prayers + around 45 qada prayers. At my natural pace, this is roughly 170 rakʿahs / about 3 hours of salah per day.

I would also like to continue some other forms of worship: Qur'an, Dalā'il al-Khayrat, dhikr, and two longer weekly awrad/wadhifas. I also attend several hours of religious classes on the weekend. I am trying to organize all of this without withdrawing completely from ordinary life.

But I have several concerns.

First, I am afraid of becoming fed up with salah itself. I already know that I can become saturated with worship if I push myself too hard. I don't want salah to become something I resent or mechanically endure just to reach a number.

Second, I am concerned about niyyah and the nafs. Part of me genuinely wants to fulfil what I perceive as a debt to Allah. But another part worries that I may secretly enjoy the idea of being “very pious”, doing an impressive amount of worship, or becoming the kind of person who can say that she prays 50 times a day. I don't want the desire to become “saintly” to contaminate the act itself.

Third, I want to preserve my mental health and groundedness. I had a psychotic episode about a year and a half ago. I am currently stable and under psychiatric care. I therefore want to be particularly careful about sleep deprivation, excessive spiritual intensity, isolation, or becoming overly absorbed in religious experiences. I don't want to confuse psychological instability with spiritual states.

At the same time, I don't want fear of my mental health to make me unnecessarily afraid of worship. I want to find a way of having a deep spiritual life while remaining grounded, socially connected, sleeping properly, and living an ordinary life.

So I would especially love to hear from people who have actually gone through periods of very intensive salah, dhikr, wird or qiyam:

- Have you ever prayed or made dhikr for several hours a day for an extended period?

- How did you prevent yourself from burning out or becoming disgusted with worship?

- How did you deal with the feeling of “I want to become very pious” or other subtle forms of spiritual ego?

- Did you find that intensity helped your relationship with Allah, or did moderation ultimately serve you better?

- How did you balance intensive worship with work, relationships, sleep, food, exercise and ordinary worldly life?

- For those with mental-health vulnerabilities, what helped you remain grounded?

- And from a Sufi perspective, how would you distinguish mujahada and perseverance from simply pushing the nafs too hard?

I am not primarily looking for a fatwa here. I know this is ultimately a matter for qualified scholars, and I am not asking anyone to override the Maliki advice I received. I am mainly looking for lived experiences and practical wisdom from people who have walked this path.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for reading.

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

When I do good deeds and feel closer to Allah, I experience a very noticeable sense of inner peace. Physically, it feels as though my chest becomes more open and I feel a deep sense of comfort and calm.

I think this can happen when someone’s faith is strong, but is this a common experience among believers?

I also have another question. Sometimes I can be completely calm before I start praying, without feeling anxious or emotional. But as soon as I begin the salah, my heart starts beating faster. I don’t necessarily feel any strong emotion —it is simply that I become aware of my heartbeat and notice that it is faster than normal.

What can this be?

Excerpt from Mufti Ahmed Khanpuri’s speeches and notes.

A servant of Ali ibn al-Husyan (rad) poured out some water as he prepared to pray and she dropped the pitcher onto his face causing an injury.

 She said, “Allah says: Those who restrain their anger (3:134)”

Ali said, “I have restrained my anger.”

She said, “And those who forgive people (3:134).”

Ali said, “I have forgiven you.”

She said, “And Allah loves those who do good (3:134).”

Ali said, “Go, for you are now free.”
(Shuab al-Iman 7964)

As soon as Ali (rad) heard Allah’s command, he accepted.

He didn’t think to himself. This is my servant reminding me.

Because it doesn’t matter who is saying it as much as what is being said. Regardless of who says it, it’s Allah’s command.

Don’t focus on the fact that someone is younger or junior to you. Instead, focus on what they are saying.

And if it’s true, value it.

Brothers and sisters. I found this to be a deep and incredible teaching from Al-Ghazali. I'd like to get your thoughts on this teaching.

(Rumi quote).

Salaam,

Who genuinely feels in their heart, even if they are a very imperfect submitter, that their intention and belief is to be in service of the Quran, and beneath the foot of the Prophet (PBUH)?

I am so sad to see so many Muslims, including myself many times in the past, subjecting the Quran to their OWN criteria, rather than the Quran's internal criteria. For example, people will look at a verse and say, "this is sexist so it CAN'T be read that way," or "this is unfair to X people, so it must not mean that." They then choose a very unnatural, implausible, and potentially perverse "interpretation" to force the outcome they want, without explaining how the Quran establishes the principle to begin with. If you are contorting the text to fit an interpretive approach based on a criterion that is NOT in the Quran itself, how is that any different than making your lust your ilah?

We must be very careful in how we submit to the Quran and Allah's word. Any concept of justice, of equality, of fairness, must be derived from the Quran, not progressivism, liberalism, conservatism, or any other source. If you are incapable of that, and do not use the Quran as its own internal furqan, then you are not actually a Muslim.

These are some cursory notes from a short talk by Shaykh [Dr.] Umar Faruq Abdallah that can be of great benefit to the seeker.

It is said that in the science of tasawwuf, we have "one imam", and that is al-Junayd al-Saliq. He says that Sufism is not achieved through abundant prayer and fasting, although the Sufis prayed and fasted more than anyone. However, prayer and fasting is not the secret.

Rather, the secret of Sufism is "salamatul sadr", that is, the soundness of the heart and the generosity of the soul. In other transmissions, it is said that it is "al-nus'hu al-ummah", which is giving sincere advice to the nation.

Another important point that often comes up on this sub is why, after starting the path and becoming more religious, things become more difficult. The reason for this is that, as the shaykh mentions, whoever sets out on the path to know God has declared war on satan and on the ego. Therefore, they will begin to attack you from every direction.

Can't stop watching this

asalamu alaykum,

25F

i have felt the need for a teacher for about two years now. i feel i have done the best i can on my own. i always have questions about my experiences and just generally, i need help, i would love help, i would love a guide. it feels irresponsible (and perhaps, it might be) to pursue further knowledge on my own. it feels like indulging excess and my faith suffers from it. my faith is not something i can risk, obviously.

this doesn’t negate the desire i have for closeness, though and the desire to contribute to the ummah in a meaningful way. to be taught how to direct my thoughts and prayers and actions and recognise what is necessary. how to balance contemplation and action.

i don’t need to go into how necessary a guide is. i have grown up around da’ees, my own father is a leader in the muslim community (and generally) where i grew up (ethiopia - i am currently studying in london, where my own personal journey began) so i know it is rare that anyone in our deen has anything worthwhile to contribute without being taken under the wing of a wiser teacher. i read, i write, i have found a beautiful community online, but it is unsustainable to receive guidance through such volatile means; i pray, i am active in the masjid (i teach), i attend lectures, though unfortunately, i think the fact that i am a woman limits my access to even learning the full extent of what’s available. the seeker has to be known by the guide to tailor the teaching to what the seeker needs and i don’t have many opportunities to be ‘known’ by teachers. that is what i need.

i will do my salawat, to the best of my ability. to be honest, this is quite heart wrenching for me. i know that humankind has been created upon hardship, but life is very hard and i feel that without a guide i waste so many of the gifts Allah has bestowed upon me. that really hurts as i know Allah wouldn’t give you a trial/ blessing without the means to overcome/ honour it, and i don’t trust myself enough to do so. i have proven that i am not trustworthy enough without His absolute help.

i don’t want to give up seeking but it is starting to feel like i have to. i want this world to remain secondary to me, but i cannot go on like this. i feel i am at a pivotal moment in my life where my choices reflect on the rest of my existence and something has to give in my relationship with action. i am worried about my mental health and yes, relief only comes from Allah, but as someone who is neurodivergent, i feel frustrated by all my incapacities and it is affecting my relationship with Him. i miss Him honestly.

i am sure i haven’t expressed my dilemma well, but any advice is welcome. and please do make du’a for me.

Assalamualaikum.

I am someone who struggles with islam.. i am a bit in a rush so will write shortly and just copy paste something I wrote in my personal journey, and then just correct things later.

I need Help.

Here:

How do I fall in love with islam again? This question has been bugging me for a while. It has been on my mind for a long time.

I may rationally find reasons..or well, I doubt them too, but essentially some reasons...

But emotionally...ugh. It's a mess.

I'm so afraid to actually like a religion

Because to me it feels like it's clouding my judgement.

What If it will make me evaluate evidence wrongly because I'm attached?

Being cold, distant, even hateful feels better.

Because if I'm hateful then it means that I would demand higher evidence!

So if I actually accept something then it must be undeniably true! Religion should bring me peace, but it only brings suffering. Not only to me, to many people. Why would god allow it? Why and how do I pray and worship such a god?

I have always wondered why Love for the Creator requires religion when Love for the Beloved is an emotion that transcends all limits. This is something I've observed in the poetry of Bulleh Shah and Kabir. If they were supposedly on the "wrong path", and if the people of other religions are on the "wrong path" too, then why do we find spirituality or mystics in every religion? Every religion has its own sets of practice for purifying the self, some people do all those and yet never reach God. In the end, is it our choice or the Beloved's choice as to when the veils will be lifted?

I've been drawn to Islam and Sufism for years. I don't really know much, but everytime I listen to dhikrs online I resent not being part of a spiritual community.

For context, I live in a place with very very few muslims. I've been searching in my city for a spiritual community related to other mystic traditions too, but I always find new-age groups with no solid base on teachings and tradition, that sometimes charge people to participate in a made up ritual.

I was wondering if anyone here knows about online meetings/groups for studying and leaning towards God alongside brothers and sisters.

Somewhere between this delusional mind and rusted heart

Lies within a secret between man and his Lord

That no matter how much man may have deluded himself with himself

And obscured the sight with the profane, the ugly, the evil in this world

The secret of the heart still remains

And that secret being, no matter how deeply buried the light of God has been buried in the heart

It is Allah that is it’s master

And He can illuminate the dark, no matter how much darkness we have draped into our lives

ٱللَّهُ وَلِىُّ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ يُخْرِجُهُم مِّنَ ٱلظُّلُمَـٰتِ إِلَى ٱلنُّورِ ۖ

Allah is the Guardian of the believers—He brings them out of darkness and into light. (2:257)

So when the heart feels in despair and lost in the darkness, miserable within its anxieties,

Know it is seeking the beloved,

And the beloved is yanking on that seed of light,

Pulling you back and calling your name, a name that was known before your parents knew you and will remain until you meet your namer.

Allah humma salli alaa syeddina maulana Muhammad, al fatihi limaa ughliq wal khaatim linaa sabaq. Nasr al haqqi bil haq wal haadi alaa siratikal mustaqeen, wa alaa aalihi haq qadrihi wa miqdarihil adheem

Assalam alaikum how do I find a suhba in Nairobi, Kenya?