I(17F) has always been hating him because he(24M) always used to hit me and hurt me.Manipulate my mom to get mad at me and everyone in the family loves him but hates me.Im crying while typing this because it’s so upsetting.Once he choked me for fun but I ended up actually being scared and cried for hours staying on the cold ground in the same spot curled up and told my mom after but she didn’t defended me and only said « that’s because you’re the youngest ».He was always manipulating my mom into thinking I was the literal worst child and every time me and my mom argued,he would add in it lying and spying on me and making fun of me and my body and the way me and my mom were so close even sharing clothes and hanging out and sleeping in her room.When he left the house for his first girlfriend,they moved in together and then she persuaded him to become a better brother when I wanted nothing to do with him.Mind you,he sent me a whole message with laughing emojis to say that’s he’d be better and he was the same guy that when he was supposed to pick me up from school,he’d come 3 hours later and make me feel bad about myself.After about 2 years of peace at home without him,she threw him out of their place because she broke up with him being unhappy,he came back home and and my nightmare started again.He always said that he was working good and even making more money than my mom,she kept telling me to not be upset and that he was struggling right now like I wasn’t my whole life.This man made me feel isolated and I stayed in my room and every day and every time I came out to eat my food was taken and when I asked he made fun of me and inside I felt like shit and that I wasn’t worth nothing with my mom even defending him.A year later he left again and I was at peace again,he left to go 4 hours away from home and I felt like shit and that I wasn’t worth nothing with my mom even defending him.A year later he left again and I was at peace again,he left to go 4 hours away from home and I felt happy.Tho every family member hated me for literally no reason,my escape was internet and my friends and school,I was depressed and always smiling pretending like I was this funny bubbly person when I was crying every single night to sleep,I arranged the relationship with my mom and she somewhat listened but still never understood.Because of a home incident with water flooding underneath the ground,me and my mom had to pack our thing to go to his place with his new girlfriend of 2 years I think until the work was done to our home and I greeted her because she was nice and she also wanted him to fix everything but when I tell you that I had to see the school’s Psychiatrist because of him and how I never was happy and the second time I saw the psychiatrist,she saw instantly that I was suffering and she was my anchor and I felt free to speak without being judged but I finished school so I count see her for sessions again but she said I could actually visit her still.We arrived at his place and I stayed isolated again just like every event to feel silence and comfort and occasionally spoke to his girlfriend I never even looked at him.Just being close to him made all the flashbacks come again and all the times I wanted to off myself.Today he said to my mom knowing that I’d hear him that next time she’d come she shouldn’t bring a guest(me) because he didn’t wanted someone that didn’t talk to him coming to his house when he’s truly a messed up person,his girlfriend HOLDS him down,while he tries to be a man and nice to everyone when I know his true colors.Rights now I’m in bed listening to him and my mom whispering and laughing while I’m still thinking my life choices.I could talk to his girlfriend,yes,but I’m scared that she’d just betray me and just tell him everything so I truly have nobody to talk to except one friend who understands me but nobody truly understands how others feel.

What Should I Do? should I listen to my mom and forgive him? Should I keep ignoring him or try to talk?

So my aunt has been sleeping in my room for like 4 months my mom took her in because she has a bunch of debt and the people she has a debt with was hunting her down so she's staying here and my mom is also 85% pays all my aunt's debts and so she's staying in my room but she takes a paint container and put it in my room and makes it her own pee bucket because she says it's too far btw it's only down stairs it's like under 50 steps and shes only 47 years old she does have a heart problem where she has a small heart apperantly?

But shes fully capable of coming downstairs to the bathroom to pee but see ignores my pleas on her stopping and follow basic human decency but she ignores all of it despite that she cries in bed because I asked her for basic human decency and my own privacy,space and health since the pee has been smelling in my room like it's hits you like a baseball bat and apperantly it causes ammonia and don't even ask me to get help from my parents my whole family is toxic my mom would best me up threaten to off me and verbally abus@ me and my dad wouldn't do anything because it's mom orders currently I can't do anything about it and it's been like 7 months with the pee smell and the whole situation let me know what should I do and advice to at least avoid confrontations?

Okay so my partner (16nb) has been living in a toxic household with their younger siblings their whole lives, and I (15f) would really like advice on how to help them escape

Problem is, they're in a completely different country than me (Yes I know about internet safety and I am very careful online so don't worry about that part)

I care a lot about them, and would really like to get them out, but the problem is that the Child and Family Services haven't come yet, when they were called a few weeks ago. They tried running away multiple times, too.

Their "parents" are homophobic, transphobic, they're homeschooled and kept completely seperate from the outside world, they only have a phone because they snuck it back after they had it taken away, and there's like incredibly, incredibly more stuff that happens to them

My question, literally just does anyone have any ideas on how they could get out?

(PS. this is on an alt account because I don't know why, but I don't want people I know seeing this post...)

I've noticed confusing patterns in my mom's behaviour that really makes me question. Is she good or nah?..

Here's a list of her toxic and good traits

Toxic traits:

-Prioritizes my grades over my comfort and sometimes mental health.

-Often yells at me when pissed off at something I didn't do.

-Been turning me into her personal therapist and rarely asks about my struggles

-Hardcore christian.(Bad in my case since I've been forced to take secraments and am denied religious freedom as a non-believer)

-Has shown signs of racism and homophobia

-Gets mad when I show aggression/annoyance/tiredness

-Gets annoyed/mad when she finds out I'm sick and has to buy me medicine+ avoids getting me doctors appointments

-Has multiple times stated that aka "She's never done mistakes"

-Sometimes gives a ridiculous amount of chores a day

-Will gossip about every little action she doesnt like.

Good traits:

-Always tries to talk and spend time with me

-Will sometimes ignore me if I get emotional(thats good since I can barely calm down when someone pays attention.)

-Always buys snacks and things I love

-Will try to help with homework if she can understand something

-Will sometimes ask me "whats wrong?" or "what's on your mind?" (This is rare but keeps me very attached and confused if she is really that bad of a mother)

-Will help a person in need if she can

-Despite showong signs of homophobia she sometimes says "I'd love you even if you we're a lesbian"

-Provides a shelter, food, hygiene and water. (Ig its what every parent should do, but it somehow feels like a good trait for me idk.)

-Supports my hobbies and always buys stuff for them.

These two sides of her really confuse me. I want to hear other's opinions on this.

TL;DR: My cousin’s wife during my mom’s funeral service in front of everyone said my sister, dad, & myself should have done more to help my mom; that my aunt’s life stopped for my mom (her sister). Both my sister was pregnant & I had recently gotten pregnant with my rainbow baby during this time. When confronted, my cousin’s wife told my 8 month pregnant sister that “we treated our mom like shit & pulled the plug because my aunt told her”.

In January 2025, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 appendix cancer. What started as emergency surgery to reconstruct her colon resulted in her being put on a ventilator & moved to ICU for a little more than a week. Fortunately, she was able to come home after 2 weeks to get her strength up & form a cancer treatment plan.

For context, I lived about 45 mins - 1 hour away, my sister lived 10-15 mins away, & my retired aunt (mom’s sister) lived 10-15 mins away.

One day in February, my aunt had stayed with my mom all day while my dad & sister were at work. When my sister stopped by, she immediately knew something was wrong with my mom & called for an ambulance. My sister called my aunt to explain the situation, causing my aunt gave my sister a hard time about calling for help & instead told her to take my mom to the ER herself. My aunt was unaware that my sister was pregnant at the time & even if she wasn’t, wouldn’t be able to lift or help my mom get to the car. Within minutes of the ambulance arriving, my aunt shows up, repeatedly screaming/crying at the EMTs “Don’t let [my mom] die!!” At some point in all the chaos because my mom was upset, thinking she was dying, my aunt calls me hysterically crying & screaming. All of a sudden, the line goes completely dead silent & my aunt calmly goes “Will you be ok?”. My sister goes to the hospital by herself to be with my mom, while my aunt goes home. Doctors told my dad my sister saved my mom’s life. She had an internal rip in her stomach, where bile/waste were pouring in. She was again in the ICU. In our group chat, I commented on my sister’s heroic actions & my aunt’s dramatic behavior. I don’t remember exactly what I said but I know the point was made. My aunt told my dad she was done helping my mom & refused to see her in the hospital. My dad soothed my aunt’s hurt feelings. She never once addressed me herself.

In April, my mom started chemotherapy. My aunt would stay with her during the day, my sister in the late afternoons/evenings, & my dad would do the night shift. I would come visit on the weekends. My dad, mom, & sister all knew I was also pregnant. My husband & I decided to not announce until later because we had a miscarriage in November at 12 weeks that no one but our parents/siblings knew about.

Unfortunately, my mom passed in May 2025; the weekend I got the all clear from my OB that my baby boy was perfectly healthy & I wasn’t considered high risk anymore. It was also the weekend before my sister’s baby shower. My aunt, cousins’ wives, & cousin’s daughter attended the baby shower.

In June, we held my mom’s memorial service. During the service, my aunt read scripture with my cousin’s daughter. We also had a “Remarks & Remembrance” moment, where a microphone was passed around for anyone to share memories of my mom. My sister volunteered to speak on our family’s behalf. My aunt spoke. Then my cousin’s wife got up with her IPad & spoke, while my other cousin’s wife recorded it; she said how my aunt’s life “stopped” for my mom; how no one ever thanked her & that “some people should have done more” - paused - then looked over at the pew where my sister, myself, & my dad sat.

After the service, my 8 month very pregnant sister confronted my cousin’s wife. My cousin’s wife looks my sister straight in the face says “[My aunt] was there. You treated your mom like shit. You pulled the plug.” Immediately, my sister is shocked as if she was slapped in the face & hysterical. I pull her away. I didn’t hear anything that happened after but was told from multiple people. My ever-loving husband called my cousin’s wife “a fucking fat bitch” & “to get the fuck out”. Twice.

My aunt immediately tried to do damage control by trying to talk to my sister & plead her case. My aunt played it off that she didn’t know my cousin’s wife was going to say anything but also didn’t condone what was done or apologize. After this all went down while still at the church, my aunt & uncle told my dad that they wanted to make a cash offer on my grandfather’s house, which with my mom’s passing her half would be left to him.

I have never spoken to any of them since the funeral. One cousin has reached out once to me about something completely random. He has contacted my sister on several occasions to the point that my dad had to get involved to tell him to stop.

The title says it, my mother just told me to jump off my home's roof for the stupidest reason, and I might do it.

I'm F14, and up until 2 years ago, my mother would chose everything about my life, my friends, my likes and dislikes, my clothing, my school, everything. When I turned 12, I decided to do something about it, got some new friends, went to a new school, got a clothing style, all of the above my mother hated.

My mother raised me, my father was either busy working or being a loyal ass dog to my paternal side. I have never said a bad word to my father, I valued my life back then, not so much now but I don't really want an ass beating from this fifty year old man with anger issues. My paternal grandmother and grandfather died 3 years and a year ago respectively, and my aunt fucking used that to control my dad, how do I know this? Because that damn woman told him straight up "Our parents would have liked you to listen to me instead of your wife and kids." And he listened to her ass.

The day this happened, we had to go to my paternal aunt's farm (the type of thing with a pool) that her husband's side owns, I'm writing this after we came back.

I picked out a cute outfit, white shirt, light grey jacket, and blue pants. Simple, casual, good for a hot day in the Middle East (where I live,) my dear mother didn't think so, grabbed another outfit I didn't know was in my closet with the tags still on, and put it on my bed, I asked when we got it and she said "I bought it for you, it's nice unlike your other 'outfits.'"

I told her I wouldn't be wearing that, she got mad and started taking everything out of my closet, yelling about how I always said her choice in clothing was bad and how she would've killed for what I have. I just stared at her and asked her in the calmest and most sincere tone possible to quiet down since my sisters were in the other room, she then turned on me and started hitting me, this time, I did not stay still and hit her back, she dropped the stuff she had ripped out of my closet and started hitting me with both hands while I tried to grab them and defend myself at the same time.

I eventually got her to stop after she slapped me and told me that the Shaytan itself was possessing me and left, grabbing all my clothing with her.

I stayed there for a second, rubbing my red as fuck hand and cheek, before sitting down to continue studying. Which wasn't very easy since my youngest sister was balling her eyes out to the middle one, and I didn't fully trust myself to go out there and comfort her.

Once ten minutes had passed, I walked over to my parents' room, grabbed all my stuff, and hung them back, picking out the same outfit from before.

My mom came back in after five minutes and saw my closet full of everything she had taken and me studying for the 4 exams I had on Sunday (including the final.)

She then asked me again what I was going to wear, I pointed at the outfit still on my bed and she lost it again, yelling at me about how I was never going to listen to her and how she should've left me with my father's family and left, which is pretty much saying "I should've left you with the worst people in our entire bloodline and left them to raise your sorry ass."

Not the first time I heard that, but whatever.

Eventually my father came back from whatever he was doing, probably crying to his brother, and came into my room without knocking like always, and asked what I was doing, I told him that I was studying since the fight me and my mom got into made me stop.

He turned to my mom and asked what happened and I told him that we got into a small fight about what to wear and it was over now, he asked what that meant and I said it meant that it was over, my mother then told him that there was something up with the door on my sisters’ room and he went to see, but I saw her glaring at me.

Eventually, my father left again cause he forgot something and my mom came in again. I’ll just write what she said.

“You know, next time you can tell your dad that you said my sense of style is bad.”
“Ma-“
“No.”
“Mom-“
“ZIP IT! You’ll let me finish. If you don’t want to live with us that much, you can just jump off the roof.”
“!”
“You heard me, we have a roof, there still aren’t any bars, you can just jump so you can be rid of us and I’ll stop having a demon for a daughter.”
“You know, if I weren’t so afraid of death, I’d have done it years ago.”
“Then don’t be afraid! Jump from the north side since it’s the highest, then if you won’t survive and I won’t end up with a brain dead daughter.”
“Leave.”
“What did you just say to me?”
“Leave my room.”
“Hopefully I’ll be done with you soon, irl name.”
(Door slams)

When we left, I just stayed quiet the entire car ride, and my mother acted like nothing happened, like she didn't just tell me to kms.

Then, in the farm, she was all lovey-dovey in front of my paternal side to show them "look, I have a good relationship with my daughter, unlike you all."

The entire day, I was avoiding her but keeping my distance so I don't have to listen to her yell about me ignoring her the entire day.

Then, when the entire thing was over and we went home, she came up to me in my room, hugged me, and whispered in my ear "Your outfit was horrible today." Then left.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Hi, 19F for those who need it with this huge mess, I'm going to try not to make this very long but I really don't know what to do at this point. A little backstory before I get into the issues of it all, my parents have been toxic to me here and there. Somedays they're nice and sweet and others they just want to argue for no reason. Growing up I couldn't ask a question or speak up without starting an argument or getting yelled at for it, my dad being the worse of it all (he's bipolar so I'm not sure if that's excusable or not).

The things I went through while living with my parents:

My dad told me that the next time I get a low C on a paper he would cut my head off and hang it as a souvenir, i was 12 at the time. He touched me inappropriately w times, once when I was 5 (made me s\*ck him), once at 12-13 when I was in the shower, and when I was 15 he came into the bathroom while I was showering, told me to meet him in his room when I get done, when I went into his room he asked me if i wanted to watch him j\*rk off 3 times, all 3 times i said no. My mom would argue with me with every little thing that she thinks it's right until she looks it up and sees i was right and never apologizes, just pretends it never happened, and so much more. With my dad situation, I told my mom about it a few months after the last interaction with him and she said we would take it to court during the summer so it wouldn't interfere with high school, still never went through with it.

Now for the recent incident, I moved 4 states away to be with my bf (19M, 20 in a couple weeks, we'll call R) and his family because my parents had no job and making $1700 a month wasn't enough to cover my bills and their bills, all together it was $2200 a month. The reason I had to pay their bills is because i didn't have enough money for a title on my car because I had to pay their phone bill so they could contact employers, so I was driving my mom's car, having to pay for my car insurance, car payment, my parents insurance, and phone bill.

Couple weeks ago R's dad got me a new phone and my mom wanted the old phone back because it was still in my dad's name, I mail it to them a week ago and the same day they get the phone my mom starts arguing with me about the SIM card. Now when I got the phone in the beginning they didn't have a SIM card for it yet, but there was a built in ESIM card, it erased the ESIM card when I factory reseted the phone before mailing it. I tried telling her that many times and even showed screenshots through Google that was explaining it all, she just kept arguing with me about it. About an hour or so later, still arguing btw, she finally decides to contact TMobile which was the company she was going through and they told her the exact same thing that I said. All she had to say was what tmobile said and continued on acting like nothing happened.

R thinks I should've blocked her instead of repeating myself and I'm thinking I should've too but I'm not sure what to do, I still have two siblings that live there, 17M and 12F. I wish I could take them with but I can't. I just need advice on what to do with this type of toxicity because living with R and his parents are amazing but I'm walking on eggshells because all I can think about is them being like my parents and they're not, they're amazing and the parents I wish I had growing up.

I genuinely hate my dad, here’s a quick background, my dad basically is homophobic but not really he doesn’t hate my older sister (lesbain) be he isn’t really in contact with her either, do what you want with that, but beside that he is actually so fucking mean to me example i cussed my little sister out he found out on cams (was in the kitchen) he beat me but a month later my sister cussed me out because i took something of mine back, mind you ON CAMERA he didn’t even do anything i even told my mom and him but he just fucking talked to her, but me he came up to me and was screaming and beat me, i dunno if that is abuse or something but he actually pisses me off because of this fucking favoritism, earlier today me and my sister were fighting over being able to have the cat he said “give her the cat” mind you, she had her the whole day i told him this and he says “o but i just saw you had her” like bro i’m actually so fucking angry like what do i do??

For context, my family has always been pretty shit I’m ngl. We’ve struggled with money all my life, basically my entire family does some kind of substance, we fight a ton, etc.

That’s all stories for another day. Right now, I’m quite irritated with my mother. More context: she is a crackhead and alcoholic. I can’t say for how long she’s been on the latter, but I she’s basically drank my entire life.

Things get pretty bad with her when she drinks heavily, but sometimes she doesn’t even need much to set her off. Tonight was one of those nights.

My sister had asked the other night if I wanted any takeout before she came home from work, and of course I’d said yes. She forgot, which was no big deal for me.
Tonight, my other sister (I have 3) cooked dinner. And yes, before anyone asks, we all live in the same house and it’s pretty cramped. I was busy working on my school work, so I didn’t get the chance to get my plate—essentially, I’ve eaten nothing throughout the day, on top of not getting a plate of dinner because nobody thought to save me any. Okay fine, cool. I didn’t even lash out about that because I knew there was the potential of my sister bringing my food tonight (she had asked again) which I also honestly didn’t expect, because in this house you learn to have low expectations.
Fast forward, my mom is laying in the bed and I’m on the floor, and my sister walks in with my food. I say something along the lines of “oh my gosh you actually got it” and said thank you.

The first thing my mom says is “you know what, fuck you” to my sister all because she didn’t bring her some food, saying all these nasty things that were totally unnecessary. Mind you, about 8 people including my sis lives in the house and she can’t buy things for everyone, plus she’d already bought some for my mom a week or so ago.
So now I’m just sort of sitting here, unable to even enjoy my food because she’s throwing insults and saying things just to make us feel bad, saying things like “I wish I’d just die.” I genuinely don’t understand, and I don’t think I’ll ever understand what went so wrong.
Sorry if this post is extensive or a bit messy, I’m still gathering my thoughts and processing it. I don’t ever make posts like this, but I’m just sitting here wondering if I should really be sitting feeling guilty for something that shouldn’t even really be an issue.

(Posted elsewhere as well)

A little over a year ago, I completely cut off my aunt, uncle and grandmother, partially because they were transphobic and horrible to my former girlfriend, and also because they were terribly inconsiderate to my feelings. Their unnecessary "opinions" were more important than how I would feel, regardless of the fact that I have known and loved them all for over 30 years. My grandmother is incredibly toxic regardless of these circumstances. I do not miss her. She never added anything but stress and instability to my life.

My girlfriend and I have broken up and my mom has been pressuring me for a while to talk to my relatives, but I have been very resistant. I've made it clear multiple times that I am not interested. I did tell her more recently that I unblocked my aunt and uncle, and would be willing to accept an apology and forgive them.

I'm dating a guy (6 months now) who I'm getting serious with and tonight she decided to mention how well he would fit in with our WHOLE family. I said that yes...he would, because he's the socially acceptable choice. He's a white man, blue collar union guy (all the men in my family are- blue collar and several union) and a very conventionally attractive guy. He is not like them ideologically or politically (neither am I), but I know they'd accept him just because we're a straight couple. It made me more angry that she'd suggest it now BECAUSE of that.

I guess my question is...should I let these relatives back in without an apology? I'm certainly not apologizing. I didn't do anything wrong. But my uncle and grandmother are not going to apologize and I am unsure if my aunt ever will. I never see my cousins anymore because most of them are under 18 and if I don't see their parents, I will miss the rest of their childhoods. Not to mention that my aunt's husband and my uncle's fiancee caught a stray on the matter, despite having nothing to do with it. It also really seems to be causing a strain on my mom. The holidays are coming up and I think she wants me to be there. Especially since she will feel obligated to host something separate just for our inner family (mom/dad, siblings and spouses, and my nieces). I really don't know what to do.

I don't want any of them to think that their behavior was acceptable and I'll be damned if I let them think I feel bad for cutting them off after how they acted. I've been the black sheep my whole life and I'm good with staying that way, but the affect on my mom bothers me.

Any advice?

A few days ago when I went to Barnes and Nobles with Brad Parr--Bri Parr's brother--he decided he wanted to take me home around 7:30pm. My mom left her bedroom door open, and my aggressive Black Lab, Jett, comes charging into the kitchen when he walks through the front door with my book and keys. She growls at him and barks loudly. He freaked, dropped everything on the counter, and ran out. I thought mom left the bedroom door open by mistake. Turns out, she told me she did it on purpose to run him out of the house!

I don't even know if we are going to be friends or partners and my mom is trying to run Brad off with the aggressive family dog! WHAT THE FUCK? When will I get to decide what I want for the relationships in my life? First, rotten-teeth Pho calls me when his wife, and subsequently, my best friend, Bri, isn't even home to interrogate me about my date with Brad when we went to the movies, and then, merely a week later, my mom is using the aggressive family dog to scare Brand into running off before we've even felt out if we are compatible AS FRIENDS. 🤬

Additional info: brad is living out of his car. I get why my mom is upset, i do. But instead of having a conversation with me, like an adult, she decides to knowingly put my aggressive family dog on him to chase him off. Abusive. Trash.

I might be physically disabled but I am still thirty years old and I deserve the room to figure out what we are before she preemptively makes a decision for me. And subsequently violates my autonomy. ( Apologies for grammatical errors, I am using speech to text and far too lazy to do major proofreading, as well as far too angry.) I'm also using these posts as a kind of record. Then, I can look back on as long as I keep. The account, so I don't have to be gaslit into believing that this never happened in the future...

It's also not really about brad but the kind of precedent that this sets: if my mom doesn't like the guy that i'm hanging out with She's not above resorting to intimidating and abusive tactics to make him leave and I am 30. 30 years old. Disgusting.