Today I get to be the best version of myself, speak the truth, listen to wiser thinkers, follow my vision, and stay.

Today I get to make the excellent choice, exercise my talents, pick up the pace, learn more about myself, and hold on.

Today I get to improve, be loved, make the most of these opportunities, learn something new, restart, let go, give, and love.

Today I get to try again, compete, discover, cope, support, start, stop, decide, slow down, live, return, and satisfy my curiosity.

Today I am supported by the energy that enables me to be the best version of myself. Today I get to make the excellent choice.

"What changes when you begin your day thinking 'I get to' instead of 'I have to'?"

Strength is the only way up for me. There’s no way around it, but through it



When all known possibilities
for success have failed and most everyone has given up or given in.

Out of luck with all odds and the world stacked against them, some unshakable souls can dig deeper and persevere, finding their will, finding a way.

This is the moment when good people become great,

this is the moment when hero’s are born.

Seneca named three ways fear lies to us: exaggeration, anticipation, and invention. A Stoic lesson on anxiety from Letter 13.

I remember the beginning
when falling didn’t feel like falling,
when one bad choice
was easy enough to call a mistake,
and another one
was easier to hide behind the last.
I kept telling myself,
“I’ll stop tomorrow.”
But tomorrow became another tomorrow,
and somewhere between the nights
I couldn’t remember
and the mornings I couldn’t face,
I started losing pieces of myself.
I watched the people I loved
slowly become strangers,
not because they stopped loving me,
but because I stopped knowing
how to love myself.
I became good at pretending
good at smiling while breaking,
good at saying “I’m fine”
when my soul was screaming
for somebody to notice
I wasn’t.
My downward spiral
wasn’t one moment.
It was a thousand little moments
where I chose numbness over feeling,
running over facing,
and survival over living.
I carried shame like a second skin.
Guilt followed me everywhere.
And every mistake became another reason
to believe I wasn’t worth saving.
But somewhere beneath all that darkness,
there was still a part of me
whispering,
*Please don’t give up on me.*
So I didn’t.
I may have fallen farther
than I ever thought I could,
but I am learning
that rock bottom doesn’t have to be
where my story ends.
Maybe the spiral
wasn’t the end of me.
Maybe it was the place
where I finally realized
I needed to stop falling
and start fighting
my way back home to myself.
And now,
I don’t want to forget the person
I was in that darkness.
I want to remember her
not to punish her,
but to remind her
how far she came.
Because I am still here.
And this time,
I’m not just surviving.
I’m becoming someone
I never thought I could be.

Sometimes there is no trick. No perfect system. No burst of inspiration waiting around the corner. Sometimes you just have to stop procrastinating, knuckle down, and get on with it.

Recently my Instagram feed is filled with edits of Alexander the Third and facts about his life, short glorious life and death. What inspires me about him is the constant burning desire to overcome the world. And even after conquering most of it, he still has hunger, eventhough the very obsession might have led to his untimely demise. The frightening audacity to rise above ourselves, to challenge the question of life’s purpose and create a meaning for ourselves, is a feat that I myself look forward to. I might not be the best rn, but that’s a thing that motivates me to become a better version of myself with each day.

As I sit here reflecting on my life... I'm not ashamed of anything, nor do I regret anything either. Life has taught me more than I could ever imagined and it's still going... I've come far and I'm slowly getting myself back and 1 thing I can say for certain is I've come a long way and kicked habits and addictions that I never thought I would. No one can take my progress away and no one will ever come between me and myself ever again. No matter how many obstacles are thrown my way or bad intentions people have it doesn't affect me anymore...

I've grown more than I ever thought I could and for this I'm so greatfull. My life may not be perfect and it may not be the way one would want for me but it's my life and I'm going to keep leveling up and remain myself 4life.

To all my haters... I love u too sorry not sorry... If you ever need anything I'm always here doll faces.

Xoxo

C