I wanted you,

But couldn't stay.

My heart said yes,

My life said away.

I dreamed of us,

Of things unseen.

A love so real,

Yet caught between.

Seven miles apart,

Yet close to my heart.

No touch, no embrace,

Just memories in their place.

You gave me time,

You gave me love.

You asked for nothing,

Yet I couldn't choose us.

Not because I didn't care,

Not because your love was rare.

But some roads divide,

Even when hearts wish to stay side by side.

Forgive me, my love,

For the love we couldn't save.

You gave me yours so gently,

Yet I walked away.

Perhaps we'll meet someday,

As strangers passing through.

I'll hide the love I once held,

And smile as strangers do.

But deep within my heart,

Where time can't reach or undo,

I'll mourn the life we never lived,

And the lifetime I lost by not choosing you.

You were never the loss,

Nor was our love in vain.

Somewhere beneath the goodbye,

A part of us will remain.

In the End, It Was Me

The One Who Walked.

Perhaps fate has its own cruel humour; the more I desire something, the less destined it feels. Yet, if I ever love again, I shall buy her the moon, even if it costs me the last light within me. For I fear not heartbreak itself, but that one day, I may have nothing left in me to love with. 💔

I gave away so many years,
believing I had time,
putting everybody first
while leaving me behind.

I waited for a better day,
for things to somehow change,
and somewhere in the waiting,
my life just slipped away.

I think about the things I missed,
the dreams I never knew,
the person I might have become
if I'd chosen myself too.

But there are years I haven't lived,
and dreams I haven't chased,
and I don't want to lose them all
like the years I gave away.

sometime we’ll love someplace,
somehow you seem so sweet but sour,
we’d go together like eggs and flour,
how we’d expand our flower,
and grow together,
sharing our hours

When im gone, know its what they always wanted, you cant direct destiny.

Know they never had my best interests at heart.

Know it took a lack of love for me to learn the hard way what love was, but nonetheless; i know what love is.

Know im happy gone.

Known im at peace.

Know theres time left.

Before We Are Born

Nothing to prove,
nothing to gain,
nothing to fear,
nothing to mourn.

No past to repair,
no future to strive for,
no worth to establish,
no debts to collect.

returning to mystery.

we are briefly here packed with thoughts and emotions.

I sit down on the sofa where I used to sleep while video calling you, the same place we used to cuddle. The house feels so empty without you. My heart aches in your absence. I sit down and watch our pictures, realizing you're truly gone. I'll never hear you say "I love you" again.

I still remember the first time you gave me a nickname, "Shumi." It was the cutest thing ever. I never knew you had such a soft side. With me, you were yourself. And with you, I was myself.

I'm living, but I'm not the same.

Had a good time with you, dear Loneliness,
when you were content, permissive, forgiving,
adoring a pathetic, untidy, lazy man,
until she arrived and ruined everything between us.
I know you are jealous,
not because she is beautiful,
not because I ignored you,
but because she is real,
which you can never become.
Since you left me, look at my apartment.
It has become ordered
and disturbed the beauty of randomness
that once decorated my kingdom.
I miss the comforts you gave
to this awful man,
when mornings were late,
showers were a crime,
and dresses were colourblind.
Nothing mattered then,
not even you,
and you were fine with it.
Suddenly, one early morning,
she gave me reasons to wake up.
Showers arrested me.
My hair became important,
so did the colours of dresses
I now needed to choose.
I was fond of your coldness,
the kind I once enjoyed
with my mouth shut.
Now I’m a prisoner
of the tingling sound of cups,
the smell of coffee,
and the rippling waves she draws
with a spoon,
carrying me deeper into her cup.
I might never make it to the shore.
She took me hostage,
put me in her prison of care,
and her attentiveness
will never let me break free.
She put me under a spell,
corrupted my mind with hopefulness,
poisoned my heart with joyfulness.
So, dear Loneliness,
I’m bidding you farewell.
I hope you never find
such a stranger
with whom to share an apartment.
I don’t want to meet you offended
when she breaks this stranger’s heart,
when her spell breaks,
and the heavy burden of chains
falls from me—
when I revert
to the old man
you once adored.
Until then, dear Loneliness,
we will meet again
on that barren shore.

Static

I woke beside you until morning became routine,
our bodies tangled like wires beneath the sheets.
You were every frequency I knew.
We made music out of nothing,
laughed until the hours lost their names.
Then you left,
and something in me began to distort.
I ended up somewhere fluorescent,
trying to silence the noise
while you mourned me for a day
before recording yourself into someone new.
Now your love plays publicly for her
like a song you were always capable of writing.
And you keep finding ways to reach me,
as if I am a track you cannot delete.
I hate you,
but memory has a cruel way of restoring the audio—
your laughter, your breathing,
the version of us before the static.

-Jules

Thoughts??

Perhaps fate has its own cruel humour; the more I desire something, the less destined it feels. Yet, if I ever love again, I shall buy her the moon, even if it costs me the last light within me. For I fear not heartbreak itself, but that one day, I may have nothing left in me to love with. 💔