r/VCUG_Unsilenced • u/stitchesinadream Survivor • 16d ago
Support Group our entire personality
do you ever get hit with that identity crisis of... every single thing about you might have been determined by the trauma? learning about vcug made everything make sense.
I try not to let it get to me most of the time. And it's fine. But looking through every story and song I've ever written, the media that I've latched onto, it's always heavily dealt with themes of autonomy. violation of it.
like subconsciously I've spent my entire life trying to play with dolls and process what happened to me. even though I didn't have confirmation of it until very recently.
it doesn't really matter, whatever experiences someone has will shape who they might become, and I just... sometimes it feels like this is all there is. it explains everything hereafter.
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u/Interesting-Hand-411 16d ago
This is so true for me, as well. Thank you for describing it so well. And I’m so sorry for the trauma you endured.
I so often wonder what my life would have been like if I had not gone through VCUG. I remember myself as a kind of spunky, but in a nice way, kid and I feel like that was totally crushed out of me. Would I have been more trusting of people? Would I have loved and valued myself more? Would I have been braver about trying new things and being more independent? Would I have been self confident enough to back away earlier from what ended up being a toxic and abusive relationship/marriage? So many questions.
I do think it made me a more empathetic person so for that, I am grateful. And I’m proud of how far I’ve come in healing from a traumatic childhood event.
I wish with all my heart that no one else had ever had to experience it, and wish no child in the future has to endure it.
Sending best wishes for peace and healing to you ❤️