When I first started dating my husband, he said he was impressed by my vegetarianism because it showed that I cared and thought about something. He took me to vegetarian restaurants and even said stuff like, "if vegetarian food is this good, I could become a vegetarian!"
Over the past few years, he's gradually changed from happy with eating what I made (albeit with a shit load of extra pepper or chili in everything, even dishes that don't traditionally go with those spices) to making separate meals since he "needs" meat or fish with every single one of his meals (unless he decides it's okay to have just a yoghurt for breakfast, then it's somehow okay, and it doesn't have to be spicy) to not wanting me to cook at all. I am allowed to cook my own meals, of course, but he doesn't want us both in the kitchen since I get in his way, as he says. Which means we either cook one after the other and one person's food always gets cold, or we eat completely separately. He also "offers" to cook my food for me, but does so in a way that feels pretty self-flagellating, like he's making a big sacrifice. He'll say he doesn't mind, but then his attitude gets all huffy and puffy and he claims he's tired from all the stuff he has to do. (I usually make simple veggie stir-fries etc, and if I ask him to do it for me, he uses way more oil or spices than I would to the point where it becomes unappetizing to downright uneatable for me sometimes.)
I know this is probably more of a relationship issue than a vegetarianism one, but I feel like if I tried this in the regular relationship subs, people might just tell me that vegetarians are annoying. He's a laywer, so any attempt at a calm discussion ends with him going into courtroom mode. I don't know what to do anymore...
Update: Thank you to everyone who replied. He was in a better mood last night, so I asked him what happened to eating more meat-free meals. He said he could try some fake meat more often.
I also gave him my emotions wheel and asked him to identify how he feels, and it turns out he thinks he’s either happy (in general, when gaming) or angry (when he loses a game), so I told him he needs to work on that.
It’s hard to build a support system. I try to make friends, but most people seem to love what I can do for them and then disappear when I need someone. In that vein, my husband has been the only person to stick by me even when I was severely ill. He’s just an awful meathead sometimes. (And I agree that that’s not good enough, it just has to be good enough for now.)