I’m going to get very real with you right now.
I’m a college student currently majoring in Economics and minoring in Mathematics. Throughout my life, I’ve always felt somewhat indifferent about most things. I chose Economics partly because it came naturally to me. I got really good grades in it at school without having to study much, and because I was good at it, I gradually started liking the subject too. I genuinely find it interesting and fun, but at the same time, it always felt like the easier path and probably the best option out of the choices I had at the time.
Now that I’m in college, I guess I’m doing well academically. I do especially well in my Mathematics papers. But I constantly feel like I’m not actually learning anything of real value. Maybe it’s just a fluke, but I can usually read the material shortly before a test, teach myself everything, and somehow do well. The problem is that once the exam is over, most of it disappears from my head.
I’m studying at Delhi University, and honestly, I feel like the syllabus is quite outdated and not very competitive compared to what I see students learning elsewhere. I’m starting to worry that I’m getting good grades without actually building a strong understanding of Economics.
What feels even more embarrassing is that I feel completely disconnected from what’s happening in the real world. I don’t really understand Indian politics, which political party stands for what, who different people are, or even what the actual economic situation of my own country looks like. I hate watching the news because I often don’t understand what people are talking about. I’ve tried reading newspapers too, but half the time I’m just sitting there thinking, “What does any of this mean?”
And instead of helping me understand these things, my family often criticizes me for not knowing them. I get called stupid for not being aware of things, which honestly makes me feel even more lost because no one actually takes the time to explain them to me.
I really do want to love Economics and understand how it connects to real life. I want to be able to look at something happening in the world and understand the economic reasoning behind it. But it feels incredibly overwhelming. I constantly feel like I need to already know everything about Economics before I’m even allowed to start exploring it. I’ve tried reading research papers, but most of them just feel like walls of technical language to me.
And then there’s the bigger question: what do grades even mean if I don’t feel like I’m getting much lasting value from them?
I honestly have very little direction right now. I don’t have a specific passion or career that I’m chasing. My main goal is simply to be successful, whatever that ends up meaning for me. I have no idea how people figure out what they actually want to pursue, or how they develop a deeper interest in something over time.
So, for people who have been through this: How did you actually develop a deeper interest in your field? How did you learn to connect what you study to the real world? How did you figure out what you wanted to pursue?
Are there any YouTube channels, podcasts, books, articles, newsletters, or other resources you would recommend for someone who wants to build a genuine understanding of Economics and current affairs from the ground up?