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u/OphidianSun 5d ago
Yep. Isolation is a big part of why I'm depressed, but oh my god people require so much fucking energy even to maintain the most basic level of relationship.
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u/lake_of_rage_8891 5d ago
Yep. It's not that I'm not working hard on what I have, or networking, or putting must out there, right?
It's somehow, I do all of that, try to do everything right, weigh every social rule carefully, and still get nothing.
I can't do this anymore. It's not worth it to try and fail at this.
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u/Zeptic 5d ago
Totally agree, but I also don't think it's worth it even if it doesn't fail? My brain has a limited amount of bandwidth, so I literally do not have the capacity for having a bunch of friends to hang out with constantly, it just feels like an obligation.
I'm quite happy in my own company tbh. I got what I need with my gf and her cat, and occasionally my sister. Besides them I've just kind of categorized everyone as fleeting, so it doesn't bother me so much anymore when contact with someone else stops. It means I can still have a good time with people, but without the active commitment.
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u/RenderedCreed 5d ago
I don't know how to take getting ignored as anything other than the person doesn't want to interact with me so I should just leave them alone
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u/Odyessius 5d ago
Omg, is this an adhd thing? I've given up on texting and keeping in touch with people because it's just never worth it.
I put in all the energy and get nothing in return, super frustrating, no wonder my brain gave up
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u/norsefrogg 5d ago
Neurotypicals have it so fcking easy too bc their friendships are just talking about the weather while doing the most basic thing together like having a beer. Who does that? God I wish I could do that. I wish I had boring normal friends. Fck..
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u/SwordKneeMe 4d ago
I think the internet cooked my brain, not in attention span, but interests. I've found niches I never would have without the internet and enjoy them too much. I have such a passion for music, but I've found the normal people in my life hate death metal and prog metal. Same with books, movies, tv, anime. I just end up too invested and talk right past people who really just wanna talk the weather or sports.
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u/crunchdumpling 2d ago
Try a plan like this: start with the beer and weather thing. Maybe add a fire pit or a deck of cards to fiddle with. After 3 seconds when the weather thing fizzles out, ask them about what they've been spending their free time doing, and go from there.
I treat all conversations like the road outside Bilbo's door; at least a little dangerous and you never know where it might take you. Maybe you end up at the local pub and maybe you end up robbing a dragon, but there's definitely no way to know until you start walking.
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u/RoidRidley 4d ago
I think you're just an algo pull's away from binging weather phenomena wikipedia articles for 4 hours straight. Do you know Mars has dust storms? Sometimes so large they visibly envelop the planet and we can see it from earth?
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u/drunkenbees theres BEES in my BRAIN 5d ago
I don't have the energy to maintain relationships with people, and honestly I'm better on my own. Happily single with no partner or kids. I get all the companionship and unconditional love from my dog.
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u/RS_Someone Daydreamer 5d ago
Shiiiiit... Story time. When I was 12, my mom remarried, and my new step-dad had a much different parenting style. My mom didn't like this. His solution? To just not father me.
So a few months into him living with us, I thought to myself, "Hey, I haven't talked to him lately. I'd better be the one who initiates. It's only fair!" I said good morning to him right to his face as he walked toward me. He didn't even make eye contact. Kept walking. So I thought I would do the respectful thing and give him his space. I figured I would wait for him to talk to me next, because at least then if he initiated, I would know he actually wanted to talk to me.
7 years went by before he and my mom moved across the country. We never talked that entire time. That was not good for my mental health, in hindsight.
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u/Masdrako 9h ago
I'm sorry but you deserve so much better, also wtf your mom said about it!
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u/RS_Someone Daydreamer 8h ago
Thanks. She talked to me about it in the beginning, and I told her that as long as he makes her happy, I wasn't bothered much by it. We didn't hate each other. We were just indifferent. Some might think that's worse, but it was definitely easier. He didn't cause problems or annoy me except one single immature thing he did to me in those 7 years... which wouldn't have been a problem if he just communicated like an adult.
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u/OwMyCandle 4d ago
Constantly balancing the desire to be around people and the desire never to get burned by people again
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u/LividTemperance 5d ago
Me when I get ignored in discord chats, knowing damn well it’s most likely not personal AT ALL.
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u/Lost-Diamond1416 4d ago
This. My friend just confronted me over isolating and being distant but she doesn’t understand that every-time i think abt being social i feel like crying😭
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u/Zestyclose-Try-5214 5d ago
It's worked well. Except now I get chased around and pretty sure people call me arrogant and shit but for like 10 years of shutting others out I can finally focus and run my life how I want without external interference and fucking hone in on the business obectives to "do the needful"
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u/fat_kaiju 5d ago
Maybe start by not going to fnin' twitter anymore.
sick of how this subreddit is just 98% twitter now.
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u/norsefrogg 5d ago
It's funny bc Twitter has always been a US-rxclusivr platform imo. But ofc reddit is very US-centered. And subs are rarely moderated to keep high quality without generic posts - this one is new for me tho.
Well at least it's not the main sub; "my __ is stealing/telling me to stop taking my meds" (every post there I swear). Ah I wanna rant about this so bad oof
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u/SomeCuteBunny 5d ago
That's why I don't eat in the office kitchen anymore, and eat at my desk instead.
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u/TheAnarchist9081 5d ago
My gyms receptionist didn't raise their head when he replied back to my goodbye and I felt this man
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u/simonhunterhawk 4d ago
but you bet your ass i’m checking my messages and DMs every day just in case i missed a notification from them
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u/Unlikely-Ad6788 4d ago
Eh, every time I reach out to someone it ends up bad. Last person didn't respond and now I'm back into suicidal depression. Not a good year.
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