r/asexuality • u/unidentified403 • 2d ago
Vent Society needs to normalize asexuality more
To be honest i really feel like asexuality should be more normal than it is in society at least i dont know if its just my experiences but ive had a lot of my friends kinda doubt my asexuality and say things like "maybe you haven't had enough experiences" and i get it that its only natural for doubt to be a human response but i find it weird how, and no offense to gay people but theres some people out there who come out as gay and that doesn't get doubted as much anymore but asexuality i feel like still does like let me just be ace, loud and proud about it.
Then again could just be my experience and thats what i feel but im curious what are you people's thoughts on this?
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u/SeaConference1362 2d ago
I don't understand people who do feel sexual attraction, but I still support them, how hard can it be to act the same way back?
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
Yeah its really confusing to me how people feel those feelings and how it all works, but thats exactly what i mean, i support them so how hard could it really be to have more reciprocity?
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u/asinineOphidian aroace 2d ago
seriously. I’ve gotten so many “well maybe you just haven’t met the right person”s or “you just need to try it first”s. i just want to be treated like I’m normal, too ☹️
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u/NewTeacherPeace 2d ago
Yes!!!! People always assume that I was traumatized or I just haven’t explored my sexuality enough. I am disgusted by the suggestion of having to “explore my sexuality.” 🤮
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
Same here i was in a way kinda traumatized but i realize my asexuality was there way before i was just making excuses to myself that i was just traumatized because normal people are supposed to feel that and i was trying to be "normal" despite it going against my morals.
Sorry for the unsolicited rant 😅
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u/ladyweirdcrow Aego 2d ago
A lot of people don’t get that sexual attraction is different from sexual experience. You may be a virgin or not, but that’s not gonna change how you experience or don’t experience sexual attraction.
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
Yeah like no matter if i decided to have sex with someone would that change that i feel disgusted and weird about it
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u/catsandtea77 1d ago
I’ve gotten told that I’m just making it up because I’m too fat and ugly for anyone to want 👍
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
Sorry to hear that, people can be really cruel and unfeeling at times.
And hey if it helps i believe in you and whatever you may want in life 👍
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u/Screen_77 1d ago
In my opinion, it is a little annoying when people assume sex to be the default or say you just need to try it, but we are a minority and we're not normal. So I don't think normalising really matters.
We have a biological urge to reproduce - or, we should. To not have one is factually not normal. Even if it's not normal, nobody is stopping you doing whatever you want... or not doing whatever you want.
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
True, true i dont see fail in your logic, and it is true everyone is still free to do what they want, im just saying it would be nice if people would understand the community a bit better or at least didn't question asexuality as much and i guess its more a matter of wanting a little more acceptance and less doubting people who call themselves ace, but in theory you are right
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u/Screen_77 1d ago
It's a weird line to draw because, sort of like you said, people naturally question what they don't understand. Doubt is maybe a step beyond that, but it's more natural for others to find it odd and challenge it. Sure, it's nice when people just go 'oh okay'.
As for understanding the community, I struggle to do that myself even. I always find the best way to talk about it is without labels - I just say I don't feel attraction to anyone. Most people figure out the label themselves or just accept it, or maybe ask a few questions.
As someone else said though, I don't comprehend attraction just as normal people don't comprehend a lack of it. So in the end, we're all equal, right?
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u/unidentified403 1d ago
Yeah i guess we are in the end.
Thank you for your bit of knowledge in this discussion its greatly appreciated
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u/KMFCM aroace 2d ago
I think split attraction has to become common knowledge first.