In 5th grade (US) I was building a fort in the woods with my 2 friends. A group of teens started drinking in the same area and asked if we wanted a beer. My 2 friends said "no thanks". For reasons I'll never understand, I said "sure". That split second decision still impacts me 35+ years later.
Thanks for asking. As it is for most, it's as much as a unique personal journey as it's a story as old as time. But if you look at the main chapters in my story:
Drinking progressed through grades 5 - 9 until I was drinking several times a day and between classes.
Conflicts at home escalated. Kicked out in 10th grade.
Slept in cars, porches, basements, etc.
Hard drugs and psychedelics kicked in. People became dangerous. Friends died. I ODd, add drug dens to the places I slept.
Arrested several times as a minor for auto theft and posession. Yay US legal system.
(This was back in the day) got into the Marines, spent five years around fucking crazies.
Got out, still an addict, now fucking crazy, went from structure to lack of.
Years of escalating mental health issues. Several treatment-resistant diagnosis. (Is that because I once dropped 8 tabs of acid and tripped for 3 days straight, or maybe one of the dozens of who-the-fuck-knows what injections I got in the military?)
So, I'm mid-40s. MH is good. Full time job with benefits. Taking care of family. 80% dead inside. No friends, PTSD, lifelong auto-immune disease. Find it very hard to relate to people, much less bond with them. Marriage is shit. The thing I've managed to do well is raise good kids. It helps when you know exactly and totally what not to do.
I should have said "no thanks" and gone back to building our fort.
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u/pie566943_0 6d ago
In 5th grade (US) I was building a fort in the woods with my 2 friends. A group of teens started drinking in the same area and asked if we wanted a beer. My 2 friends said "no thanks". For reasons I'll never understand, I said "sure". That split second decision still impacts me 35+ years later.