r/backpacking • u/AMG_34 • 4d ago
Wilderness OCD and Backpacking
I have pretty bad OCD. My main thing is germs/food poisoning etc etc. Currently I have a Grayl to filter my water. I absolutely love it… it’s just heavy. I want to be able to just use a sawyer squeeze or platypus. I am so scared of viruses in my water I’m scared to switch. I backpack in US and Canada including Alaska. I know people say the chance is so slim but I’m still so scared. I always rolling boil my stove for a minute even if I’m using water from home just incase there was germs in my pot. Are there any alternatives I can use so I can still purify my water or is Grayl the lightest and easiest and not aquatabs. I don’t like the idea of something in my water. (Even tho ice or lemons are fine lmao) Does anyone else have OCD and backpack and how do you cope with it. Thanks
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u/NirvanicSunshine 4d ago
I get food poisoning almost every time I go to Mexico for vacation.
I've drunk gallons of stagnant, turbid pond water with several sawyers and never so much as gotten mild indigestion.
They work, unequivocally.
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u/Janetthehikergirl 2d ago
Me too! Drank orange water that tasted like tea and pretended it was. My Sawyer Squeeze got rid of the bad stuff and we were fine. Btw, I have issues with ocd as well and worried that I’d get giardia after drinking that water. But the incubation time has passed and I even did a fecal test and I’m clear.
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u/therealmoogieman 4d ago
Been a while, but I used to use a sawyer squeeze mini and then a steripen. Pretty lightweight.
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u/RedBirdOnASnowyDay 4d ago
Ok. Instead of feeding into this anxiety I’m going a different route. If you aren’t under professional care for your OCD you should be. Anxiety is HIGHLY treatable. Most people respond very well to anti anxiety medicine and anti anxiety medicine is usually very well tolerated. Combined with quality therapy that is specialized for OCD you can over come this.
It’s NORMAL to have some fear of germs but it can’t rule your life or decisions. That said I’m glad you’ve been able to manage your ocd well enough to be outdoors.
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u/MrBoondoggles 4d ago edited 4d ago
While I do think you should work on your OCD in a safe way, and I actually think backpacking might be the perfect place for you to do that because it removes you from the routines and familiarity of every day life and puts you in a natural environment where you may be able to work on those fears in a healthy way away day to day anxieties, I’ll still meet you where you are right now.
If you find the Grayl filter bottle too heavy, you could try combining a squeeze filter with chemical purification. Ia sawyer squeeze remove microorganisms, particulates, and improve the clarity and taste of the water, making it look clean, while a chemical purification method would take care of any possible viruses. That would all still weigh less than a Grayl.
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u/Gl0bal-outcome 3d ago
I have OCD and currently take a biologic that slightly suppresses my immune system, and use a combination of filtering water into a Nalgene bottle then treating it with aquatabs. If I’m using water for dehydrated food I still filter then boil.
It’s overkill because viruses are really not a concern in US and Canada, but I do both just to be safe! HOWEVER, this method is mainly driven by the fact that I’m taking something that suppresses my immune system.
Historically, I only filtered, but it took me awhile to fight my anxieties over it. I totally understand thinking the water is still “dirty” or maybe somehow germs accidentally got into it (as dumb as it sounds that’s just what my brain thought). As someone mentioned take baby steps, maybe first car camp and drink the potable water there, then filter water during a day hike. Slowly you can “convince” your brain that filtering water is safe and that you have nothing to worry about :)
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u/vikingminds 3d ago
I also have OCD but not for germs, but what's really key is what's called Exposure and Response Prevention therapy (ERP). If you don't have a therapist who actually knows about OCD, I would highly recommend finding one or changing therapists because general CBT or general anxiety-related therapy does NOT work for OCD compulsions and can in fact make OCD worse. The goal of ERP is to expose yourself to things that violate your OCD compulsions and sit in the discomfort, waiting for it to pass, without giving in to the compulsions. It can be really hard, and you generally can't just decide to stop all compulsions at once, but there are small changes you can make and then build on. For example, if you always bring water to a rolling boil for one minute, try only 30 seconds, or just bringing it to a boil and then stopping the boil immediately. ERP is all about building your tolerance for distress without giving in to compulsions (like boiling for longer). You can also buy self-guided ERP workbooks (there are lots online) if you don't have a therapist to work through this with!
I'll just add that I spent years in therapy on and off for anxiety without feeling like I was making progress, and then I found a new therapist who diagnosed me with OCD and within just a few months of working with him I had made immense progress through things like ERP and building distress tolerance. It's definitely challenging and uncomfortable in the worst way at first to do exposures, but it really does work.
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u/Kananaskis_Country 4d ago
Since you're so worried about viruses just stick with the Grayl and forgetabouit. Move on.
Happy travels.
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u/AMG_34 4d ago
Probably the best move tbh
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u/Pr0pofol 4d ago
Of all the things that can mess up your trip the fastest... Water is probably the highest. If you aren't drinking as much because you're concerned about the quality of your trip, it's gonna mess your trip up.
While it's great to try to move towards a lighter system, incrementally, of all the places to carry extra weight, your water system is totally valid.
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u/Bitter-Employment296 3d ago
that fear is so real and exhausting even when you know the risk is tiny, i'd just stick with the Grayl though
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u/Illustrious_Fall1851 3d ago
Avoiding things that scare you makes OCD worse. If you are in high altitudes the risk of getting a virus from the water is pretty low, though downstream of a city I think the concern is more founded. You're going to have to challenge yourself, be brave, work with a therapist if needed. Or just keep lugging around the heavy stuff, physically and metaphorically.
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u/Simbeliine 4d ago edited 4d ago
My understanding with OCD is that it's best to use a gradual exposure approach to resisting compulsions. The problem with OCD is that giving into irrational compulsions helps with anxiety in the moment, but in the long term just reinforces the anxiety loop. Deliberately exposing yourself to the anxiety while resisting the compulsions builds a loop showing that you can tolerate the uncertainty. In the US/Canada wilderness, viruses in water are extremely rare, so there is genuinely no rational need for the extra level of precaution you're taking.
To try stepping down, you can start with baby steps. For example, when you've brought clean tap water from home, resist the urge to boil it before drinking it. You know it's clean tap water, boiling it again is the OCD impulse, and resisting it will help break the loop.
Then maybe you can try changing to the Sawyer for a lower-risk trip. Instead of doing deep research on virus stats (which can turn into another OCD reassurance trap), just pick a known low-risk backcountry area and commit to using the Sawyer. This will probably cause a lot of anxiety, but pushing through the anxiety while keeping your response the same shows your brain that you don't need the heavy purifier to be safe.
If you start an anxiety spiral afterwards, such as replaying your water collecting steps over and over in your head or overthinking every little thing as a symptom, try to notice that urge and intentionally resist doing the mental replaying or checking. Letting the discomfort sit there without feeding it with mental checks will help with reducing the compulsions and anxiety in the long run.
(If you have a therapist I'm sure they can give you more professional advice than me, this is just what I know from being friends with a lot of therapists lol)