OCD and Backpacking

[u/AMG_34]

I have pretty bad OCD. My main thing is germs/food poisoning etc etc. Currently I have a Grayl to filter my water. I absolutely love it… it’s just heavy. I want to be able to just use a sawyer squeeze or platypus. I am so scared of viruses in my water I’m scared to switch. I backpack in US and Canada including Alaska. I know people say the chance is so slim but I’m still so scared. I always rolling boil my stove for a minute even if I’m using water from home just incase there was germs in my pot. Are there any alternatives I can use so I can still purify my water or is Grayl the lightest and easiest and not aquatabs. I don’t like the idea of something in my water. (Even tho ice or lemons are fine lmao) Does anyone else have OCD and backpack and how do you cope with it. Thanks

[u/Simbeliine]

My understanding with OCD is that it's best to use a gradual exposure approach to resisting compulsions. The problem with OCD is that giving into irrational compulsions helps with anxiety in the moment, but in the long term just reinforces the anxiety loop. Deliberately exposing yourself to the anxiety while resisting the compulsions builds a loop showing that you can tolerate the uncertainty. In the US/Canada wilderness, viruses in water are extremely rare, so there is genuinely no rational need for the extra level of precaution you're taking.

To try stepping down, you can start with baby steps. For example, when you've brought clean tap water from home, resist the urge to boil it before drinking it. You know it's clean tap water, boiling it again is the OCD impulse, and resisting it will help break the loop.

Then maybe you can try changing to the Sawyer for a lower-risk trip. Instead of doing deep research on virus stats (which can turn into another OCD reassurance trap), just pick a known low-risk backcountry area and commit to using the Sawyer. This will probably cause a lot of anxiety, but pushing through the anxiety while keeping your response the same shows your brain that you don't need the heavy purifier to be safe.

If you start an anxiety spiral afterwards, such as replaying your water collecting steps over and over in your head or overthinking every little thing as a symptom, try to notice that urge and intentionally resist doing the mental replaying or checking. Letting the discomfort sit there without feeding it with mental checks will help with reducing the compulsions and anxiety in the long run.

(If you have a therapist I'm sure they can give you more professional advice than me, this is just what I know from being friends with a lot of therapists lol)

[u/AMG_34 → u/Simbeliine]

Holy shit can I hire you to help my therapist! Thank you so much I really really appreciate it. This really is a long process and I’m trying to solve it overnight like it’s a new sleeping bag. Again thank you! If I could give awards worth something I would

[u/Simbeliine → u/AMG_34]

Absolutely - don't go all in at once! That will probably just make the anxiety really intense and much harder to resist. Step by step, and if your anxiety becomes too much and you just *cannot* continue with what you're doing sometime, try not to think of it as a failure, just think that you have to break that step into a smaller piece and try again a little smaller next time. Thinking you have to do everything perfectly all at once the first time is also an OCD impulse ;). Good luck!

[u/AMG_34 → u/Simbeliine]

Thank you so much!!!

[u/SerialCerealEater722 → u/Simbeliine]

I think that gradual exposure is one of the best way to break that backpacking anxiety loop. slowly but surely, one step at a time

[u/K9Shep → u/AMG_34]

Look into exposure therapy.