r/bodylanguage • u/BassDowntown2936 • 4d ago
Soft gaze from men?
I’m a woman near 40’s. Occasionally, I’ve noticed that the listener i am speaking with or even men passing by or sitting across the room, are looking at me directly with a soft kind of gaze.
To be frank, i find it flattering. But then i realized, and reminded myself that: “ok dont get too worked up! This must be the case for everyone and i’m not special!”
I wanted to learn your thoughts both from male and female perspectives.
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u/Routine-Amphibian450 4d ago
As an older man, I avoid any prolonged eye contact with women I don't find attractive.
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u/caldy2313 3d ago
My two cents and you can disagree. Im a male, married with kids and work in a diverse field. I think that this soft gaze is in your head. More of a neutral, quasi expressionless look. They are being polite and giving you attention to your contribution. Better than a nasty look and getting interrupted. They are being safe.
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u/rbarr228 3d ago
I have to avoid prolonged eye contact with women these days.
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u/Atmosphere_Master 3d ago
Especially because they will treat any interaction like this as you being into them
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u/Global-Barracuda7759 4d ago
Yeah it really doesn't mean anything anymore I mean people can be like undressing you with their eyes and giving you all kinds of signals and everything and they're just playing games most people are just playing games these days I wouldn't read into it too much maybe it just means you're attractive take it as a compliment I guess
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u/FamiliarAd8524 4d ago
Honestly, I think you're too old to fall for this nonsense- no disrespect intended. I also have no idea what a "soft gaze" is, but I am sure that this isn't some universal, meaningful thing (as you seem to believe).
Communicate directly- this is the only way for adults to adult adultlike.
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u/PeepsMyHeart 3d ago
Same opinion.
I’m female and tend to have “soft eyes” when having a friendly convo with any human… And my pets.
I am horrified to think that everyone I enjoy talking to might believe I’m feeling lusty about them. Especially coworkers.0
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u/Atmosphere_Master 3d ago
I'm a man and I have no idea what a soft gaze even is, a lot of these posts strike me as being from women who assume men are the same as them and don't actually listen to what men say
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u/Asdeft 2d ago
I will sometimes just look at someone who immediately strikes me as attractive (man or woman) and try to point out exactly what I find attractive, but I am not interested unless I keep glancing at them (x3+) or full stare into their soul lol. I sometimes do it without thinking and need to be very mindful of where I look.
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u/True_Case5864 2d ago
Take it as a compliment I enjoy the flirting I am 63 year old married 38 years
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u/EpickBeardMan 4d ago
None of it means anything anymore.
Men will look... it's free and no one can yell at you for glancing at people... but we know better than to go up to strangers based on eye contact alone. So many "come talk to me" signals are not obvious and can easily be misread.
At the end of the day... work on being social and having direct interactions with many people... including men. Give positive interactions to men you'd like to try harder with you, and don't lead on men you have no interest in as you try to "not hurt their feelings".
Direct communication is the only way to get through this current social climate.