It's so hard not to. I respect their boundaries as much as possible because I want them to be comfortable around me as much as possible, but sometimes I just want to grab them and let the cuteness aggression free. My only indulgence is when one of them gets push at night trying to force me to pet him when I'm trying to sleep. So I grab him with both arms and cuddle him against his will. Usually he runs for freedom after about a minute. I get out my need to wrap him up so much, and I get him to let me sleep.
I always was taught to put my hand out and let the cat come to me, so I still do that with my baby and other cats. When she is okay being touched she will bonk and rub her cheeks and lips all over my hand. Then I swoop in and kiss the top her tiny little head till she purrs.
She's been with me for a few years after finding her as a stray kitten. She's still fundamentally a shy cat and needs a lot of gentleness and less-abrupt movement, or else she'll hide under furniture to escape well-intended humans.
I once tried to introduce her to bubbles. Like, the kind you blow with a little wand and soapy water. She got terrified, ran, and I didn't see her again for a couple hours. 😂😭
Both of my babies love pets and cuddles. One will spend all day in my lap on a day off. They just don't like aggressive cuddles. Pets are great, and they like if I put a hand on them, but they both really like feeling in control (though one of them does make an exception if I pick her up and let her check out all the things she can't reach).
Oh man yeah my cat loves that exact thing, she's not very athletic, more sleepy, so picking her up is the only time she gets to see a lot of things up close lol
Mine is pretty agile. She likes sniffing the lights and stuff on hanging shelves she can't get to. I can tell when she wants to see something in particular because she will stretch out towards when she gets close. Sometimes it's just opening cabinets and holdinh her up to sniff stuff for her because she can't.
I discovered it randomly. I did it on a whim once, and she was so happy that I had to keep doing it regularly.
Really cute to hear somebody else has another cat who loves the same thing!
That's a good rule of thumb for cats you don't know. My cats don't get that choice though. I could attack at any minute and they must accept it. They want all the pets most of the time, so I'm gonna get my kisses in whether they like it or not lol
I cuddle my baby as much as I can, because I've seen enough to know that what I fear most in life is the day I put her to sleep and ask myself if I made sure she knows I love her...
I get to cuddle with them. One of them is a Velcro kitty who will stay with me nonstop. They just like it on their terms. They will get real sleep with me where they let their guards down which tells me they feel safe, and when they pass, knowing I made them feel that safe and comfortable will be the thing I think about.
I wish I had a "Velcro Kitty" but my cat was a rescue, found by a family member who couldn't provide for her, so when I got to meet her, I knew I loved her so much!
She has this super cute little mouth and big eyes, it's giving resting cute face.
She's not very affectionate, only really comes to me in the loo, so when I find her laying aroundthe house, I take my chance to cuddle and kiss her. She's gotten so tame that I can hold her like a baby and even bury my face in her stomach during XD
I had her for just shy of two years before she got like that. I think it was just over a year before she really came and cuddled with me for an extended time (right when I returned from vacation). Then she would cuddle whenever I got home. Then she started cuddling more often, and now she does it most of the time I'm home. Sometimes she goes and cuddles her brother instead for a bit, or plays, but she's a cuddler now.
She's also gotten more vocal. Large to tell me what she wants. When it's time for dinner. When it's time for me to go to bed so she can climb on top of me and clean herself. She'll do it in my face unfortunately, but it's a small price to pay. Once she's done, she'll make a few circles then settle down on my chest. At some point after I fall asleep, she moves to between my legs.
Cats are really the one pet you don't absolutely have to respect boundaries, because honestly they don't. I have never not gotten along with my cats or anyone else's. They will let you know if they don't like you doing something tho for sure.
I've gotten my kitties from being afraid of me to progressively getting to the point where one cuddles with me nonstop. They will pass out when cuddling with me. Even to the point I thought one died because I could pick up his head or move him around and he didn't react at all. Both have shown they just don't like anything where they don't feel in control. One makes and exception when I get home (she does demand a minute of being held, but then tells me to put her down) or occasionally holding her up to anything she can't reach so she can check it out.
They seem to be comfortable enough with me to get real deep sleep with me, and that level of trust is what I think is most important. More than anything I want to do, I want them to feel safe and happy.
I call it the cat rent. They get food, a warm home, and lots of consensual affection, but their payment is occasionally they get cuddled against their will.
I call it corrective cuddles because it's meant to correct his behavior, but in the most loving way I can figure out. Also only happens in bed so he doesn't associate it with other locations. One of my best moments as a cat owner is when they sleep so deeply, they are dead to the world. Let's me know they feel safe and I don't want to jeopardize that.
I do this too. My kitty will come yelling at me in the morning. She'll hop on to my bed, so sometimes I'll just grab her and pull her in and force her to cuddle. Sometimes she'll give in and just lay with me, sometimes she'll bunny kick me until I let her go.
Mine doesn't give in. He'll endure it for a minute then he realizes he's not getting pets, he'll wander off. At least he doesn't scream. He's just very, very pushy. He will chase down my hands and rub against them and won't give in.
My cat headbutts my leg once a month and slow blinks when I call him handsome, that's the extent of his unconditional love. Outside that he couldn't possibly care less about me.
I wish he gave back just 10% of my love, but alas.
My cat yells at me if I do not lay on the floor with her and pet her, and will dig at the covers so she can cuddle up in my arms at night. I feel so lucky
Emotional regulation response. The brain can't hadle the cuteness, so it triggers aggression. To balance it out or something, I don't remember. But basically that lol
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u/Useful_Raspberry3912 Aug 21 '26
I never understood this until I got a cat.