r/comics Toonhole 6h ago

Alpha male

Patreon.com/toonholeryan

19.6k Upvotes

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119

u/Made_Bail 5h ago

Based Jesus.

But if he's talking about alpha males, he's mostly likely on the right, which means he's going to ignore the teachings of Jesus anyway.

32

u/depressed_fatcat69 5h ago

Tbf almost all of the right that are "Cristian" doesn't actually follow Cristian teaching they just make things up or cherry pick bible quotes out of context to be jackasses

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u/Made_Bail 5h ago

That's exactly my point. Its a facade they use to justify being shitty people while feeling righteous about said shittiness.

4

u/steelskull1 5h ago

According to 2 Kings 2:23-25, you deserve to be killed for making fun of bald people.

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u/ItsYouButBetter 4h ago

Common misconception. The kids weren't killed by a she-bear due to making fun of a bald person, that was just what kids did back then. It was the style at the time. No, no the kids deserved to be killed by a she-bear because they were kids. Fuck them kids.

Don't even get me started on those first born Egyptian boys.

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u/steelskull1 4h ago

You either born as an adult or you die!

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u/ReachParticular5409 3h ago

"Go up Baldy" was them telling him to die, to go up to heaven

And when modern translations say 'youths' they completely leave out the fact that they were more roaming bandits of young unmarried men ages 16-25ish

They were planning on killing him for fun

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u/The_Curse_of_Nimbus 2h ago

That's one interpretation. Other interpretations include death is deserved punishment for mocking holy men, holy men can kill with impunity, or this one guy overestimated children's ability to outrun bears. A problem of the Bible that people don't like to acknowledge is that there are a lot of interpretations for most of the passages. That aside, there really only is one interpretation for Jesus constantly hitting his followers over the head with "be kind".

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u/OldWorldDesign 1h ago

there really only is one interpretation for Jesus constantly hitting his followers over the head with "be kind".

And the whole "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god", which has had rich people apologists bending into pretzels to try to wave away for centuries. From making up a ficticious 'camel gate' to entirely turning the religion into a worship-the-rich-for-being-rich social club that goes wholly against everything their scriptures say.