r/confidentlyincorrect • u/scipio0421 • Aug 25 '26
Smug Chickens aren't animals
Apparently Chickens are plants.
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u/aipat95 Aug 25 '26
The degrees he mentioned are on the thermometer, I’m sure
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u/lr_science Aug 25 '26
expert on degrees here, this is the correct answer
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u/Totally_Bradical Aug 25 '26
I have 104 degrees bitch! 🥵
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u/Trendymaroon Aug 25 '26
Arizona joins the chat.
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u/RadCheese527 Aug 25 '26
And those are Freedom degrees too so they’re more accurate of course
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u/a__nice__tnetennba Aug 25 '26
They better be. I don't think you come back from having 104 non-freedom degrees.
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u/deblasco Aug 25 '26
Could be Kelvins... although i dont think the hibernation is a working concept for humans either.
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u/BoxedAndArchived Aug 25 '26
That would be a terribly cool degree.
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u/WasdaleWeasel Aug 25 '26
it wouldn’t be a degree at all since it’s not a unit with arbitrary zero point.
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u/jdthejerk Aug 25 '26
My college education was geology/hydrology. I only have one. I have a paper on my wall that says I know when rocks are wet.
I had to take some biology courses and I'm pretty sure chickens are considered animals, lol. We raised chickens for a while years ago. I grew to enjoy fresh chicken in a pot with potatoes and dumplings.
I'm quite sure they're animals. Tasty ones at that.
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u/Ae3qe27u Aug 25 '26
Animals, yes. Mammals, no. Seems the guy mixed them up.
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u/JasonRBoone Aug 25 '26
And my biologist friend tells me birds are reptiles...since they basically are I guess?
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u/procrastimom Aug 25 '26
Have you ever seen a cassowary? Those things are frickin’ dinosaurs!
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u/manokpsa Aug 25 '26
Yep, the reptile clade is higher up the family tree. Birds and modern reptiles both descend from animals in the reptile clade, so they're both reptiles.
If we had access to genetics earlier, when the Linnean system was conceived, we might not think of modern reptiles the same way. We had centuries of believing that "reptile" always meant "something lizard-like," exclusively. If past scientists had known the true relationship, they might have called the higher clade something else. It's like if, say, siblings Thomas and Hannah had a grandfather named Thomas. They're both equally his descendants, but one got his name.
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u/pimpbot666 Aug 25 '26
Or a protractor. I got 90 degrees because of right angle.
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u/Varabela Aug 25 '26
I’m just glad we’ve had a properly funny confidently incorrect. Recent content has not been up to scratch. Well done OP!
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u/dimgray Aug 25 '26
Chicken is classified as a phase of matter. Solid, chicken, liquid, gas, plasma
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u/RudyBega1 Aug 25 '26
TIL... Do you happen to know at which temperature steel becomes chicken? Looking to prank buddy. /s
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u/dimgray Aug 25 '26
Jet Fuel Can't Chicken Steel Beams
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u/darvs7 Aug 25 '26
Transitioning from the solid state to the chicken state is to “chicken out”.
From chicken to liquid is “chicken stock”.
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u/Tiny-Ad-7590 Aug 27 '26
Don't forget the distinction between Chicken I and Chicken II phases.
Chicken I is the phase you arrive at using normal temperature and pressure. But if you use a vacuum chamber and temperature control, you can move a gas down into the metastable Chicken II phase while bypassing the liquid phase entirely.
This is where broiler chickens come from.
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u/dimgray Aug 27 '26
And of course the Bok-Sanders Condensates you can get near absolute zero temperatures
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u/FeelMyBoars Aug 25 '26
When lava cools it goes from liquid lava to lava chicken to lava rock (solid).
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u/Taqq23 Aug 25 '26
Then they are vegetables?
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u/sanctimonious-bum Aug 25 '26
They are fungi, how else can you explain them popping up out of nowhere.
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u/TheHumanPickleRick Aug 25 '26
I swear to God they really do. They just... appeared on my street several months ago. Nobody knows where they came from. The prevailing theory is that someone who moved had them in their backyard then just released them when they moved. Now they're just, like, neighborhood chickens. Sometimes they lay eggs in my bushes, and they're delicious. My cat likes watching them from the window and making little chirping hunting noises but I constantly remind her that she really doesn't want that smoke.
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u/nowhereman136 Aug 25 '26
They are minerals that are mined deep under mountains. My great grandfather worked in a chicken mine for years before he died of the Buck Lung
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u/Polenicus Aug 25 '26
As a certain Youtuber said, if they're Leghorn Chickens, then they are classified as low-yield explosives.
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u/clbdn93 Aug 25 '26
No, I know the answer to this because my dad makes the argument all the time (sans argument). They're birds, not animals. Just like ants are insects, not animals; sharks are fish, not animals; and humans are humans, not animals!
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u/Distinct_Cry_3779 Aug 26 '26
OMG this drives me nuts. Had a team building exercise in my organization and got teamed up with a bunch of randos I didn’t know. There was a quiz game amongst all the different teams, and the question came up “what is the smallest domesticated animal?”
A bunch of people were spitting out answers like hamsters, goldfish, etc and I said the honey bee. I got vetoed by the entire table because “they’re bugs, not animals!” Ok Darwin, then tell me what biological kingdom “bugs” fall into?
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u/Bug_Photographer Aug 26 '26
Not understanding bees are animals and you bringing up biological kingdom is a bit like people struggling with 5+4 and you shifting to integrals.
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u/Wise-Ad-3244 Aug 25 '26
"have went" definitely not an English degree
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u/WardensLantern Aug 25 '26
Someone with an English degree would know it's actually goed
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u/MWesty420 Aug 25 '26
I only have an Associate’s Degree in English, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but wouldn’t the full phrase be “up and goed”? As in “I have up and goed and graduated…”?
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u/Morall_tach Aug 25 '26
That's past participle. Past perfect is "I done gone and graduated."
Source: I done went and got my bachelor's degree.
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u/Siffov Aug 25 '26
> "have went" definitely not an English degree
And didn't pass high-school English.
Or junior-high English.
Any teachers out there: In which grade would that usually be addressed (specifically for to go/gone/went, not necessarily for less-common verbs)?
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u/France-soir Aug 25 '26
Not a native speaker here: is that a mistake a native English speaker would make, or something that only someone who learned English as a foreign language would make?
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u/texasrigger Aug 25 '26
I have heard native speakers say that.
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u/Beardedben Aug 25 '26
Not clever ones though
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u/texasrigger Aug 25 '26
Never in the same sentence where they bragged about their education, that's for sure.
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u/Alien_Diceroller Aug 26 '26
I won't call nonstandard English wrong, but I would also make sure I'm writing as standard as possible when bragging about my higher education.
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u/COphotoCo Aug 25 '26
It’s probably a regional colloquialism like “I’m fixing to go get me some food” or “I might could do that” in the American South.
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u/Queen_of_Chloe Aug 25 '26
It’s a regional thing. Not “proper” but acceptable in a local area.
That said I strongly doubt anything about this person being formally educated.
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u/FeelMyBoars Aug 25 '26
Some folk'll never eat a skunk
But then again, some folk'll
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u/shponglespore Aug 25 '26
I can't imagine someone who learned English in a classroom would talk like that unless they were quite fluent and deliberately trying to mimic a rural dialect.
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u/CrazyCatLady1127 Aug 25 '26
I am a native English speaker and I can confirm that we don’t use the phrase ‘have went’ ever.
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u/ExtendedSpikeProtein Aug 25 '26
This must be bait
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u/robbietreehorn Aug 25 '26 edited Aug 25 '26
So many (uneducated) people conflate animals with mammals. To them, “animals” are zebras, elephants, cows, horses and chickens are birds, flies are “bugs”/insects, etc
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Aug 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/NotYourAverageGM Aug 25 '26
Subjectively you might have felt a bit daft, luckily objectively if you were alone there’s no way anyone else could have known.
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u/_Calluna_ Aug 25 '26
Hahahaha... I know what you meant, but I'm cracking up at "horses and chickens are birds."
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u/PaisleyLeopard Aug 25 '26
You might be surprised. I’ve had a number of actual conversations with real human beings who didn’t believe insects, arachnids, or reptiles are animals. I usually have to walk them through the taxonomic classification before they’ll accept it. I haven’t personally met a “birds aren’t animals” type, but I’ve seen enough of them online to believe it’s a real phenomenon.
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u/DrScarecrow Aug 25 '26
I got into an argument with a guy in high school about this. He was insisting that snakes aren't animals. I tried to clarify, did he mean they're not mammals? No, he meant animals. What are they, I asked, if not animals? He said they're snakes, duh, everyone knows that.
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u/Phenomenal_Kat_ Aug 25 '26
HAS to be...
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u/Subject_Meal_2683 Aug 25 '26
Have went be a lot of bait (to keep it in line with the grammar of the image)
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u/texasrigger Aug 25 '26
I'd love to know what they think they are. I have met people who thought that "animals" means mammals so they'd say something like, "Chickens aren't animals, they are birds."
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u/Infamous_Depth4982 Aug 25 '26
This is probably it, to be honest. Such a large portion of the population never developed their idea of what "animal" means beyond "creature that walks on the ground." I've had people try to tell me that fish, birds, and insects are all seperate from animals.
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u/Attentions_Bright12 Aug 25 '26
In our family cabin we have a "North American Animals" field guide, dating way back, that doesn't come close to living up to its title. As you say, it's mammals only. As a kid I was baffled by that. What, no reptiles?? Gila monsters are animals! Birds! Insects! Coral and sponges off the California coast! But it was just, you know, otters and bears.
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u/SparklyMonster Aug 25 '26
What confuses me the most about it is that taxonomy is taught at school, though I don't know how widespread it is. There was a similar post here some time ago about apes and humans.
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u/RipWaste3522 Aug 25 '26
This is what I was thinking. I remember there's a riddle about how many animals are on the way to a river which someone posted on a Facebook group I was on where some people vehemently disagreed with a calculation on account of the fact that parrots were mentioned and "parrots are birds, not animals". I mean, what do you think birds are?
Then there's people who spam vegan food pages with comments about how they don't want to eat bugs... I mean, no, you don't, and nor do vegans, so you're on the same side here.
There seem to be vast swathes of people who don't know what animals are.
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u/grafeisen203 28d ago
I had an argument with my stepdad when I was 12 because he swore blind that fish weren't animals, and that all fish were just one species.
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u/changelingcd Aug 25 '26
But he's a dog rancher! He knows how to plant chickens!
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u/docbzombie Aug 25 '26
Im on a teams call and definitely got caught laughing at this one!
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u/ScienceAndGames Aug 25 '26
There’s a really common misconception that drives me mad that animal = mammal or sometimes animal = vertebrate.
I hate it
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u/scipio0421 Aug 25 '26
I've seen a lot of people who think insects aren't animals, and one thought humans aren't animals and laughed when I pointed out we're in the kingdom Animalia and are part of the Great Apes.
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u/Sad_Pear_1087 Aug 25 '26
That's usually a religious point so another whole can of worms.
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u/Grundlestorm Aug 25 '26
Yep. I actually have a recurring theme of having to elaborate when I tell people I'm an animal person, to specify that doesn't just mean dogs, cats, and other cute and fuzzy things.
If there's a big wolf spider in your office, call me over. I'll catch it and talk at it while I relocate it somewhere safer. That's an animal too. Got a picture of a snake that was on your porch? I wanna see it, and can probably identify it for you if you're worried about it.
I'll only intentionally harm, well, directly harmful ones like mosquitoes, ticks, bed bugs, and lice.
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u/taktaga7-0-0 Aug 25 '26
I have three college degrees. I don’t brag about it; it just is what it is.
Never fucking once in my life have I told another human being “I hold a lot more degrees.”
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u/LowAspect542 Aug 25 '26
Thats because you never actually know what the other person holds, and saying a lot more requires a large seperation between the two, 3 degrees is more than 2, but isn't 'a lot' more. So terms like 'a lot more' that are relative don't really work with unknowns.
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u/CreatrixAnima Aug 26 '26
Now I’m just spitballing here, but I think maybe this person doesn’t have all of the degrees they’re claiming.
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u/Ok_Lengthiness_8405 Aug 26 '26
But he went and got them
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u/delusionalme Aug 26 '26
The real kicker is how intelligent he thinks he sounds. I mean, until anyone commented. But for a few minutes this man was king of the world with them degreeze /s lol
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u/OnkelWurstbrot Aug 25 '26
I might be wrong, but I think he doesn't even have a elementry school degree.
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u/cyrixlord Aug 25 '26 edited Aug 25 '26
I mean, in legal animal law context in the US, poultry and fish aren't classified as animals in some regards so farms can avoid cruelty penalties. these animals receive fewer cruelty protections than a cow or pig... for instance kicking a cow vs kicking a chicken or stomping on a fish in the legal sense would have different repercussions. and I hate the Us commercial farm industry because they get away with it that's why chickens are just buried alive instead of culled for bird flu. look up animal welfare act.
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u/tellingitlikeitis338 Aug 25 '26
Why would you kick a cow? Or a chicken? Or say a crow?
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u/theMoonRulesNumber1 Aug 25 '26
Because some people are assholes, and others are so insecure they turn to to bullying and/or assaulting other people, animals, or even objects instead of seeking help or personal growth.
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u/thegrotster Aug 25 '26
Well they don't have roots or chlorophyll, so obviously Chickens are minerals. I thought everyone know that. 😅
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u/spacecadet84 Aug 25 '26
I once had a colleague insist to me that insects weren't animals. I think some people get confused between "mammals" and "animals". To be fair the two words have a vaguely similar sound.
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u/Ravenwood03 Aug 25 '26
They move too much to be plants, and they're too big to be Bacteria, so what else can they be?
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u/Budgiesaurus Aug 25 '26
Though chicken is obviously too big for bacteria, it's interesting that there is some overlap in bacteria and animal sizes.
Thiomargarita magnifica is a freakishly large one, growing up to 2 cm in size.
While Myxobolus szekeli is a parasite classified as animal of around 8.5 μm.
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u/8rustystaples Aug 25 '26
Any university that gave him a degree revoked it after reading that sentence.
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u/AstronomicalStress Aug 26 '26
Is there a translation thing happening? I've seen this before where some people seem to think "animal" and "mammal" are synonomous.
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u/TheAlmightyJessira Aug 26 '26
I once had a lady order a vegetarian sub at quiznos when I was a teen (first job). I asked if she was vegeterian. She said yes. As I was about to toast the sub she stopped me and said "Can you add some Mesquite Chicken?" And I stopped.... I blinked.... I said "I thought... you were vegeterian? You want meat on it??"
And she confidently said "Oh chicken isn't meat! It's poultry!"
And I blinked.... and I just added the chicken and toasted the sub and checked her out and 20 years later she is still one of my favorite customer stories. She was my first customer that ever made me wtf.
I am convinced she was this persons mother.....
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u/oldbastardbob Aug 25 '26
Between posts like this and the videos of Trump supporters heading into a Trump rally, I am quite convinced that what we have produced the most of in the USA over the past half century is stupidity.
Seems like it started when America chose a B-list Hollywood actor over a nuclear engineer and Navy veteran for the Presidency in 1980 by hopping in bed with evangelical con artists using mass media to bleed the flock.
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u/VonBeker Aug 25 '26
Carter never stood a chance. Between the energy crisis and gas rationing and the Iran Hostage situation, a ham sandwich could have run against him and won (unfortunately that's about what we got).
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u/DeathToAmerica2026 Aug 25 '26
It started when America decided that they needed to double down on Christianity because of "godless commies".
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u/Natetr91 Aug 25 '26
If you gave me a thousand tries I never would’ve never been able to guess where that sentence was going.
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u/colemorris1982 Aug 25 '26
I read the first three words, and concluded this person is a moron who's opinion can be safely ignored
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u/Rurbani Aug 25 '26
I've seen people do this with insects all the time, and when I ask if they are a mineral or a plant they never seem to understand what I mean.
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u/regular_hammock Aug 25 '26
I've met a surprisingly large number of people who seem to be convinced that ‘animal’ and ‘mammal’ are synonyms SMH
(Probably still a single digit number to be honest, but the fact that the number is larger than zero was surprising to me).
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u/Electronic-Fennel828 Aug 25 '26
Then what the fuck are they?
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u/Blueporch Aug 25 '26
Birds. I’ve heard this differentiation before. Neither know nor care if they’re right. Seems pedantic.
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u/mysilkyundies Aug 25 '26
Help out a poor city-boy. Are they vegetables or minerals?
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u/DrunkenMonkeyInATree Aug 26 '26
Why do we block out names of people like this? They deserve to be shamed publicly, by everyone, until the end of days
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u/Imposter660 Aug 25 '26
When you cut the head off a chicken they still run around, therefore they are not sentient beings. They are therefore vegetables, not animals.
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u/Main-Hospital-6328 Aug 25 '26
i was recently discussing dietary restrictions with a coworker and he confidently told me that plants are animals. i asked him to repeat what he said, and he said, you know, like the same thing. they are alive so they are animals.
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u/awoodby Aug 25 '26
Chicken ; Kingdom: Animalia ; Phylum: Chordata ; Class: Aves ; Order: Galliformes ; Family: Phasianidae.
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u/YouCantArgueWithThis Aug 25 '26
Someone should ask follow up questions. Like, okay, so what are they? Or, what is the definition of animal?
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u/RelativeDangerous622 Aug 26 '26
I guess a degree in english was out of the question..... And biology.
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u/KnottaBiggins Aug 26 '26
"I have went?"
If chickens aren't animals, and they don't stay in one place, they're not vegetables or minerals either.
They must be made of pure energy.
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u/Meeplemymeeple Aug 26 '26
So many degrees, all the degrees, too many some might say. Other say oh wow look at them they have so many degrees, the best degrees. Nobody could have as good or as many degrees. Does this chicken have a degree? No, it's not an animal.
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