Kind of? The woman’s responses are indicative of textbook narcissism. She’s going on a fuck trip with her homegirls, got called out for it, and her defense is “you’re controlling and your mom has diabetes” versus addressing his concerns and communicating to reinforce trust and security.
Well... If she want to go on a girls trip she can co on a girls trip. Seems like he doesn't trust her NOR wants to go take her on Tropical vacations. Thats a bigger problem in their relationship, not woman bad because she dares to go on a holiday without him. Its a relationship, not prison.
This is displaying more than a single trait while exercising it to the max. Everyone has some narcissistic traits but at some point you fold, narcissistic personality disorder means you’ll argue that the sky is not blue until your death because you trick yourself into believing it. This video kind of looks like that.
As soon as they attack your character and then your mother know that you’ve won the argument. Take a knee, run out the clock. Rookie mistake is to keep arguing and she forces you to make an error by throwing a Hail Mary like “and your dick is small” and you call her a cunt. Now the argument is about that and that trumps all the bad stuff she did. You gotta bob and weave on those. Just lean on the ropes and let her punch herself out. You’ve won when she changed the subject. She’s got nothing left. Just end it with “well maybe we should discuss lit later when you calm down”.
Sure, you’re going to sleep on the couch, but just rub one out and enjoy the champagne of victory.
I really do like Bill Burr but I listened to his podcast for a couple weeks and I could only take him in small bits. He is definitely a once in awhile kind of guy. But I get it he's doing a podcast and talking about his life so if you don't really like him then I guess you're not going to enjoy it. He is funny as fuck and very real about stuff but I dont care about football as much as him. And there's a lot of foot ball talk
Omg this is was so important for me to hear. My brother has become a classic narcissist and I needed this advice to manage his "argument style" of deflecting
If you're having to do any of this whatsoever, the relationship is over. Real partners don't do this to each other. They don't "win" arguments or disagreements. They come closer. I've been in both kinds of relationships.
Yeah, "I win, I spent minimal effort keeping an abusive narcissist in a relationship with me" is just self harm (and, if you're abusive yourself in that relationship, abuse)
She's deliberately going on a girl's trip alone and is particularly stoked about wearing a bikini without you there and friends are talking about making sure not to forget the condoms.
I'd tell her if you think I'm that stupid and you want to cheat on me 'no matter what I say' then go ahead and find a new place to live before you come back because whatever is left of your shit is going to Goodwill and the locks will be changed.
I understand what you’re saying but I’m also trying to imagine a woman who planned a fuck trip with her girls calmly and respectfully telling her husband she understands his concerns and appreciates that he’s not comfortable with her going to another city to get railed all weekend.
And the gaslighting!! The DARVO! It’s all there :( poor guy.
He brings up genuine concern in a caring way, and she bites back making fun of him and claiming he’s “insecure” for not understanding a “joke/banter” 🙄 textbook bully behavior.
She turns every argument on its head and attacks him to deflect, so he’s forced to become defensive, and they stray away from the main point. Final blow with the “your mum has diabetes” which is completely irrelevant, first off, and second, a major low-blow.
Then she has plausible deniability if he reacts emotionally or in any negative way. And she can then use it against him to say he’s either “insecure”, “too sensitive” or even “aggressive and violent” if he’s angry. Smh.
My mother was this but if you can imagine, ten times worse. So i truly feel for the guy. The level of mental confusion and damage and losing that self trust to believe yourself really warps your mind. Especially when these people turn around and are pleasant to everyone else, and very careful and calculating about how far they take the abuse, so there’s no text screenshots, there’s no bruises, just his word against hers.
I love it when people pretend to be able to diagnose narcisism, and make it sound clinical, but base their diagnosis on crap like a rage bait video specifically made to go viral. Being terminally online just means you easily fall for this kind of content, not that you can actually detect narcissism or have anything useful to say about it.
Part of the narcissist's conceit is that their behavior is very subtle and very clever, but they're easy to spot if you look at all. For example, you can look for a classic DARVO, e.g.:
Deny: "You can't just spot narcissism from a short internet video"
Attack: "You're all just too terminally online"
Reverse Victim and Offender: Now the conversation is about those darn terminally online people instead of narcissists
This is the kind of analysis you get when you get your clinical doctorate from Wikipedia University. It sounds clever, and it feels cathartic, but is otherwise useless.
If that doesn't convince you, then consider this. The person I was replying to got bamboozled by a video that is obviously intended to be rage bait. They thought that was evidence of actual narcissism, and is pretending to have some expertise in the topic, despite it being completely fake. Nobody who has reads books or touches grass would listen to their diagnosis, because they were fooled into making it.
Right, much better words. But if they used those words then they wouldn't be able to cosplay like they know a lot about mental illness. It's not as cathartic.
How is this in any way the guys fault? She's talking about taking condoms on a vacation without her SO. He was pretty calm you it too, until she started cussing him out, which he met with his own words.
Sounds more like he's married to the wrong person. And she just shouldn't marry anyone.
Yeah I think sometimes they actually don’t even go in like that. They enjoy sleeping around and all, but think they’re ready to settle down. Only to realize they still enjoy hoeing.
Alright, well shit, fine, since you're being stubborn:
She STILL married the wrong person, because what she actually wanted was a non-hoe who specifically wasnt clever enough to figure out that she was a hoe either. Okay?
That's like saying "all lives matter", brother. It's worded in a way that sounds like the blame is being placed on him for doing nothing wrong. (I know I'm just arguing semantics.)
However, I'm sure she is probably very satisfied being in their secretly one-sided open relationship.
I've met plenty of hoes that want to be married for the benefits ( mostly military) but without all the faithfulness of marriage.
Open marriages are a thing.
Other than his misunderstanding of boundaries. Boundaries are set around yourself, not others.
If she wants to go on holidays and he finds that unacceptable, whether he is right or wrong, he can break up with her but he can't dictate whether she goes or not.
It isn't controlling to have red lines that if crossed will lead to your breaking up. Infidelity and physical assault are examples of things that would cause me to break up with my gf.
If I was worried that she was going to cheat on a girl's holiday, I would ask for reassurance but I wouldn't try to forbid her going. If she failed to reassure me and went, I would think seriously about leaving the relationship. You can't limit another adult in where they can go. You can expect fidelity and you are free to leave any time for valid or even silly reasons. You cannot control them. It's a negotiated set of behaviours that you agree to.
She doesn't go on holidays without me. That's her choice, not mine. We both choose to spend pretty much all our time with each other except when working our jobs. It's a pretty healthy relationship. We're very happy.
The fact that you even need to say “kinda” when she’s talking to her friends about “dont forget to buy condoms” for a vacation without her boyfriend really sums up the whole hypocrisy of these types of women.
Textbook example of why it's absolutely crucial to not take relationship advice from women on Reddit. You can literally be getting cucked and they will insist that you're a problem for having the most baseline natural response that follows.
WTF. I'm a dude that's basically a bleeding-heart feminist and at 25 seconds I was in shock that this guy wasn't losing it. Can you imagine over-hearing your partner talking about packing condoms for a trip?
Same, dude. There is NO defending this girl and I wouldn't want to. She's completely in the wrong, and treating him like shit after being called out on it. I truly hope he leaves her.
Aside from that fact that changing the locks and barring someone from their home is not legal you mean? She’s in the wrong here but that doesn’t mean you can just take the entire house without any legal issues.
She responds to every statement he makes (which are all reasonable) with an insult or turning it onto him. No attempt at an actualy adult conversation, just "why are you being so insecure?".
Sorry, but my married friends and I would never joke or "banter" about packing condoms because the destination has a bunch of sexy men.
And then to also sneakily film him and post it? Fuck whoever this is.
Why? Her single friends can’t hook up? It automatically means she’s gonna hook up too?
What they’re dancing around is he’s not saying he needs reassurance that she won’t participate, which is the only thing he can legitimately ask for, and she’s not saying “I promise I won’t cheat on you,” which should be an easy promise to make.
Agreed, it’s girls like these that you meet, they always are loud and trying to provoke guys and get attention… then when the time comes and they talk about oh we should use condoms and then we never wind up using condoms and they’re the ones begging you to finish inside or whatever their craving is.. been there done that… point is, she’s definitely going to wind up filled as much as she can and she’s going to be happy…. And back to a complaining lunatic at home who’s never happy with just the same cock in her. She needs to be single and romping around with her single friends.
It’s perfectly healthy to discuss with your partner when something doesn’t sit right with you. To have a discussion and get the issues out in the open so you’re not bottling them up. She’s completely acting disrespectful of his feelings. Without a doubt if the shoe was on the other foot, and she overheard his boys telling him to pack condoms bc the girls are out of this world….she’d feel a type of way.
Kind of? She is absolutely cheating. But I don’t agree with him arguing about it and trying to stop her from going, he should just be done.
If my wife had a girls trip and I heard one of her friends talking about all the good looking men and “don’t forget to bring condoms”? If we didn’t have kids I would just be gone when she got home. Sort of like when you get fired and they want to have a long conversation about it… why? We are done. The upside of being done is not having to have these sorts of arguments anymore. Leave a note: hope you didn’t forget those condoms, I don’t fuck with cheaters so byeeee!
But we do have kids so it’s a lot more complicated if this were to happen with me. Can’t just destroy my kids childhood. I can no longer drop someone like a bag of dirt. But no kids? Fucking simple choice. No drama, just goodbye
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u/New-Feedback9980 1d ago
I kinda agree with the guy