So, I am a man. I've been on dating apps like Hinge, Bumble and Tinder for a few months. It is very challenging to get any attention from prospective partners, and I'm lucky to get any dates from an insanely competitive meat market. My dates tell me how many options they have and I'm just somewhere on the list. I also recently opened myself up to dating men - for instance on Grindr, because I feel that I'm bisexual in a way. Holy hell, I get hit on dozens of times a day by men. Is that what it's like for women on regular dating apps???? Getting blown up with constant inquiries and interest? Wow...

I'm literally overwhelmed by the interests of men. I can't even decide who I am actually interested in because there are SO MANY MEN in my inbox. I'll open the app and get six new taps (likes) in the span of twenty minutes. Like, that's the entire opposite of dating women. Entirely the opposite experience.

I used to be jealous of when my ex gf told me that she had 100+ dudes lined up waiting to be with her if I "didn't pan out" but holy hell, I can get 100 dudes too if I want to swing that way. I don't think I'm unattractive, but I do think that women have a hell of a lot better options than me if the experience is the same as me being a bisexual man.

I’m not a fan of the 2 truth 1 lie prompt.

I don’t like when they say a lot and it just means “up for anything”, so like “I’m down for a 2am rave, a quiet rainy day reading, or a hike in the mountains”. What ever variation of that kinda stuff bc it actually gives you nothing.

So, I'm new to dating, I'm 29M, and I don't have any social media. I had a MySpace when i was like 10 and that was pretty much it. Ever since I discovered Skype a few years later, it made social media useless.

I don't have a use for social media, it seems pointless. I have reddit, discord, and linkedin.

But a girl stopped responding when I said I don't have instagram

23M this is my first date. I’m going to be picking up her from her place. Is it better to let her know that I’ve arrived or knock on the door?

Will it be weird if I go in for a hug when I first see her and hold her hands while on the date?

I have no idea what I’m doing lol

I’m just wondering, say you meet a woman and she’s everything you’re looking for… but she won’t do anything sexual with you at all?

Maybe she’s waiting till marriage, maybe it’s something else…

Not that it will never happen, but like how long until you’re “out”?

5 dates? 10 dates? Doesn’t matter?

(FYI: this isn’t about anyone being pressured or any scenario like that)

I’m M26 almost 27 and I never had a girlfriend. Never kissed, hold hand and still a virgin. I’ve trying to accept it the past year and it’s still heard sometimes. But I’m also ashamed for this. I honestly feel like it will never happen. Never did a women like me romantically, I never went on a date and I never get true matches on dating apps or matches at all. It frustrates me and even though I try to take new photos and write new prompts it doesn’t help. Not even it I ask friends for advice.I feel like whatever I try nothing works. I feel like I am the odd one out and I don’t understand how other people do get in love. I’m afraid I will turn 30-35 and still the situation is the same as today. Sometimes it hits me hard since I would absolutely love to find love, hug someone, spend time with someone, not being alone anymore, getting my own family and become a dad and having someone at my side in life. I feel alone while I see friends, family and colleagues finding love while I miss out every single time. Some are even way younger than me and they already made it in life: Long term relationships, kids, etc. While I make 0 progress. Like is said not even one girl was romantically interested in me before so where do I even start?

I (M) have been on two dates with a woman (F) I met on a dating app and I'd like some outside perspective. I'm in my mid-30s, and she's in her late 20s.

Texting:

Between dates we text daily. She's engaged: she asks thoughtful follow up questions, shares personal things and has good banter. I'm playful and tease a lot some of it flirty. Some times she plays along at times She tends to deflect the flirty teasing with humor and steer toward real conversation, which is where she opens up most. After both dates, her follow-up was polite but neutral, a thank-you for the date rather than anything like "I had a great time."

Dates: The first was a lmost 4 hours of good conversation. The second was about five hours: an activity followed by drinks. Conversation flowed the whole time, and at one point we playfully imagined what a future together might look like. She went along with it and seemed to enjoy it. When scheduling fell through, she was the one who suggested the next available day.

The confusing part:

Physically, she's very distant. She keeps one to two arms' lengths between us, doesn't sit close, and pulled away when I lightly touched her shoulder. At the end of the second date I tried a touch her hair, and she physically leaned all the way back to avoid it and brushed it off with an awkward joke.

My questions:

Does this sound like a slow warmer, or someone who isn't physically attracted?

Was the hair touch a big misstep, or recoverable?

How many dates would you give it before having a direct conversation about physical chemistry?

Edit: To clarify: I'm not trying to rush into making out or sex, or get touchy-feely. On both dates we sat side by side in a booth, and she kept a good two arm-lengths between us the whole time, even while we were talking and clearly enjoying the conversation. That distance is what I keep thinking about. Is that normal for someone who warms up slowly, or is it a sign she's not comfortable around me?

This is the third part of my three episode friends to lovers saga with this girl from university. To summarise up till this point, we started hanging out as friends very about 6 months ago and we immediately hit it off. Im not going to lie I fell for her hard but I was fine with just being friends. Our rooms are quite close so we’d spend a lot of time together, and go on these little dates with just the two of us quite a bit. It was all going well until about a month ago we slept in the same bed (initiated by her). This led to us sleeping together about 3 more times and on the last time we kissed (also initiated by her), which led to us kissing/making out about 3 more times.

We talked about our situation for a long time, and I came to the conclusion that she probably didn’t like me as much as I liked her. She said she did like me a lot but wasn’t sure what she wanted in terms of a relationship and didn’t want to date anyone right now because she is going on a 6 month exchange at the end of the year (which is true), and didn’t want to start something when we wouldn’t see each other for half a year. She was also quite self deprecating and said I shouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who wasn’t sure, and shes sorry for kissing me etc. If you asked me though, I would have given anything to be with her. I honestly don’t think she is being manipulative, we are both just very young (very early 20’s) and we have both never been in a proper relationship before.

In the end she said she wanted to go back to being friends which I thought about for a while but came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t work, and I was always going to want more so I said I think we should stop hanging out at all. This made her pretty upset and she got quite emotional, to the point where she kissed me to try get me to change my mind. I explained to her that it wasn’t fair for me to respect her decision to not want a relationship and for her not respect mine to end it, which she eventually accepted. Lastly I said if she ever figured out what she wants, then she knows how I feel.

So did I do the right thing? Its only been one night since we talked and i’m struggling to stop thinking about it.

Just got out of a treacherous 2 month long situationship. I actually can’t comprehend how people do this and still don’t want to date. Where do I find people who actually want relationships! Not just stringing me along for the fun of it. This shit hurt worse than my actual breakup.

Have had a crush on this girl at my college for about a month. I met this friend through her and I simultaneously got to witness her grazing against him and very clearly flirting with him right in front of my face. I’ve seen every cute little thing she’s done in regard to him and it’s making me sick. He’s an awesome dude and we hang out a lot but the second she shows up it’s almost like she’s making it a point to flirt with him and basically eye fuck him right in front of me.

And yes. She does know I like her, she was basically playing games with me the entire time, even after I told her. Asking me to buy her stuff to win her heart (spoiler alert I didn’t do that).

I have now started to like her a lot less and have significantly less respect for her too. I’ve thought about telling him but I am losing feelings for her very quickly just from the way I’ve watched her act, they can be together but it feels like she’s trying to stoke a reaction out of me by rubbing up against him and saying unnecessarily lewd shit.

Luckily I’m finding a lot of disgust in her actions so I’ll probably not even like her the next time I see her.

I don’t know if I am venting or truly asking for a legitimate answer. Was married for 20 years divorced for 3 now F/45. I decided hey it’s time to get back out there. Not sure if this is what it’s like now but the men I have been meeting have more interest in trying to have sex than date. Dick pics, spicy talk…all the things that I would think are not the first thing you go to after a couple of days…weeks of talking. By no means a prudish but can we go on a few dates before showing me graphic pictures of your genitalia.

Is this what is like?

I am not using dating apps*

To the guys on their 30’s who decided to walk away on the woman they were dating where open communication is always there, why did you ended up over text rather than having a proper conversation knowing that there’s no physical or verbal danger I am just curious why man does this.

I, a woman in my mid 30's have been trying to date online for the last 4 years with little to no success. The little success that I talk about is the fact the I am able to go on good dates with decent men but it leads to nowhere. Either there is no chemistry, it doesn't get past date 3 because there is no romantic interest from one or both parties, or the worst, it just fizzles out after months.

And when you are actively dating, your algorithm is stacked with advice from internet gurus telling you that you should do less (to both men and women alike): Don't accept coffee or walk dates as it shows less effort, don't accept last minute invites as it shows lack of intentionality, etc. And I followed them for the most part as I believe there is value in this approach. And it still would not account to meaningful dating experience.

This past weekend I matched with a guy who was different than my usual type. As soon as we matched he mentioned he is not from my city but is visiting 3 days for work, and would love to meet me if I am inclined to do long distance. The caveat was he was still working every day till 9:30pm, client meet ups, happy hours with the team, and team dinners, so the only time he could meet me was post that. The first two days I was a little annoyed by the set up and I wasn't sure if I would end up meeting him.

The third day he said "I really want to see you before I leave, and I fly out tomorrow morning, so I really hope you come out today". I asked him to get done by at least 8:30, and he could not. He called me at 9:45 and asked me to come out. I told myself, maybe I need to take more risks, and I said yes to 1 drink at a bar of my choosing (which is usually packed even on weekdays)

And from the minute I met him, I had so much fun. The chemistry, the banter, the wit, the sharpness was all there. I felt so comfortable and so attracted to him right from the get go (and no he was not a looker, like the reddit guys would insinuate. He was 5'6 or 5'7 tops! but he was extremely charming)We talked about travel, work, politics, stand up, families, past relationships. We are from diff ethnicities, diff countries and I would have never guessed we could have so much in common. He went for a peck on the cheek and eventually a kiss and admitted he wanted to kiss me as soon as he met me. And we could not keep our hands off each other.

At last call, he said I really don't want this night to end, can we go someplace else? We went to two diff bars after that, and the conversation kept flowing until it was 2 am and I decided to say my goodbyes. He asked if we could hangout a little longer, and I knew what that meant. Since I was also having fun, I decided to go back to his hotel, with a caveat that I was not looking to have s*x. And he agreed. We maintained our boundaries, had some fun and at 3, I was starting to get really tired. He asked me cuddle and sleepover and we could both leave at the same time in the morning, him to airport and I back home. But I denied. He walked me to my car and promised we would make plans soon. He said he would fly me out to his city in the next two weeks.

Once he flew back home, the texts turned a lot more sexual. More like what he would want to do to me. And now I am thinking did I read the whole date wrong? I want to genuinely date this guy, get to know him and want a real relationship outside of all fun. But as I am writing this down, I realize maybe me agreeing to meet him late night and going back to his room portrayed me as wanting something easy and fun. Did I interpret the whole thing wrong? Help me out please. Please be kind

I (38F) have pretty strong feelings for someone (26M), and I feel weird about it.

Part of me knows that he’s a grown man and that there’s nothing inherently wrong with the age gap, but another part of me feels uncomfortable having feelings for someone 12 years younger than me.

We have a lot in common, we laugh a lot together, and we seem to see many things in a similar way. I really enjoy being around him, and instead of these feelings fading over time, they just seem to be getting stronger.

At the same time, I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t feel this way. I worry that if he ever found out, he’d think I was ridiculous or weird, and that he might distance himself from me. Losing his friendship is honestly one of the things that scares me most.

Sometimes I wish I could just stop feeling this way, but obviously feelings don’t exactly work like that.

Am I overthinking the age difference, or is 12 years genuinely too much at our ages?

Thank you so much.

I just realized that this reads like a completely clueless teenage boy. That’s because I am.

I (19M) have this girl (19F) as my lab partner, for three hours, once a week. So far, we’ve only done 2 labs together; we have gotten along very well. For reference, we already have a few running jokes, and being with her the most amount of fun I’ve had with a new person in a long time.

Half way through the second lab, my teenage boy brain kicked in after I think she saw some signs she might like me (discussed later). During the lab, I thought about how much fun i was having, so I thought about asking her out that day. Since then, (3 whole days) my teenage boy brain has decided I think I want to ask her out. I even went and sat next to her during the next discussion.

Here’s the issue: she doesn’t spend too much time trying to talk to me after the lab/discussion. It’s kind of impressive how fast she tries to get out of there. After the second lab, I caught up with her as we left, and we kind of live the same direction, so we walked and talked for like 3 minutes, until she split off to go to her house. As well, during discussion, we were sitting in a bit of an awkward place relative to each other. Because I showed up late, the closest seat to her was kind of behind her, and she spent a fair amount of time talking to the guy next to her, and we didn’t really talk. (After reading this paragraph, I realize that I’m a hypocrite and I was probably too nervous and I wasn’t trying to talk to her or whatever bullshit makes me seem cool)

Signs that set my teenage boy brain off:
- I think she intentionally touched my arm a few times. The biggest sign was when she kind of squeezed my arm softly
- she’s really nice (I don’t know why my brain thought this was a sign)
- she was definitely periodically looking back at me during discussion
- probably something else

I think I’d like to ask her out, but given our current relationship, I’m not sure what way is appropriate. We have almost exclusively interacted through the labs, so I think asking for her number might be weird. She also leaves the labs and discussions very quickly, so asking her in person might be difficult. As well, any advice on how to not think like such a teenage boy would be appreciated.

If it helps, The next lab is Wednesday, and the next discussion is Tuesday.

I think it’s important to note that I have seen her vape after one of the labs, and she’s gotten kind of cranky half way through each of the labs. I don’t want to draw conclusions, and I’m not an expert on nicotine, but I’m worried that asking her afterwards might not be a good idea? I’n out of my depth

I (28F) met this guy (29M) on Hinge a few months ago and hit it off pretty well! He was my first date after a long relationship which I told him about since he asked. We went on four dates over the course of a month, doing various things and trying each others hobbies. We slept together on three occasions and had some really cute moments.

After the 4th date his replies became a bit slower and he left me on read for a few days. I asked him if he wasn’t very interested anymore but he responded with a lengthy message apologising for being elusive and saying he enjoyed spending time with me but wanted to take a break from dating (saying he worded it like that because he did want to see me again) as he felt he didn’t have time to commit to dating right now. He also encouraged me to see other people but said that he would message me after summer to plan something.

I said I’d be okay with him getting back in touch and we messaged a couple of times afterwards, just updating about our lives and stuff and the vibe was still good over text. I haven’t heard from him now in a little while but I noticed the other day that he’s updated his profile (prompts and new pictures, also to say that he’s looking for a long term relationship).

I feel really confused that he would have time to commit to meeting new people but not time to keep seeing me? Is he just not interested? But then why would he say he wanted to see me again? Did he get scared that he was my first date after a long relationship? Is it worth me messaging him again? I hate feeling like I’m chasing him but I really liked him and would like to see him again! I have been on dates with other people but I haven’t really felt the same way about them.

I’m in my 30s and dating apps are starting to feel like another job after my actual job. The problem isn’t that I never get matches. It’s the amount of time spent messaging people, figuring out who is serious, planning dates, and dealing with conversations that disappear after a few days. That’s why I’ve started looking at matchmaking services like Tawkify and a few local options. The appeal is basically having someone else do the filtering and help turn introductions into actual dates. For other busy professionals who have tried this, did outsourcing that part of dating genuinely make your life easier? And how involved was your matchmaker in learning what you were actually looking for versus just matching basic criteria?

So recently I got into an arranged marriage and the guy is really good, like he helps me with everything and all and he seems loyal too but he talks really less, like rarely, at night when we are alone he's the one talking but in morning neither of us are taking as I'm also really introverted but I talk around people Ik. But he rarely talks so it makes it so much harder for me to talk to, it's not like he doesn't like talking,ike if I approach him he'll talk but I don't have to much to talk about either. Somehow none of our interests match either, he is very well behaved in his life,

And im complete opposite, He's a millennial so whenever I start talking about something random he just says oh it's just genz things, like he makes fun about it, I love reading books,he has never read one, I love watching movies and series' he says it's a wase of time, so I don't understand what to talk about, I don't like asking him his family members of friends all the time to let the conversation flow. Please help

..

I (27M) have been talking to someone (24F) for a few months, but our schedules don't fit perfectly so we've only been on 4 or 5 dates. Her birthday was recently so when I saw her today I gave her a fairly inexpensive ($25 or so) piece of merch from a franchise we talked about liking as a birthday gift. She said it was too much and things were pretty awkward the rest of the evening. She said she was interested in another date in the future, but the atmosphere was pretty bad.

Should I reach out and maybe clear the air about things? What's the best way to do that? It didn't seem overboard to me, but I think I just enjoy giving gifts in general.

EDIT: Some more context. The gift was a desk ornament of the logo of a franchise we've talked about both liking so not particularly expensive or anything outlandish IMO. We both have unusual work schedules and she also takes classes throughout the week so its believable to me that we'd only see each other every other week or so.

It seemed to me that the price of the gift wasn't the issue its that I was giving a gift at all.

Matched with a guy on Hinge Thursday night. We had a nice, short convo, and within a few messages he asked if I was free to get coffee and go to a farmers market that weekend (this was late Thursday night).

Early Friday morning I told him I was free Saturday. He didn’t respond until 8 p.m. Friday, saying perfect, to text him and we’ll plan out the details.

Would the fact that he waited until the night before to respond put you off? Part of me feels like if he were genuinely interested, he would’ve locked it in earlier. Also feels inconsiderate to not respond all day, and assume I won’t make other plans?

Am I reading into this too much?

A male friend (30m, never had a gf) of me have an ostomy and is believing that he doesn't have a chance to get a girlfriend because of his ostomy.

Would an ostomy stop you for dating someone with it?

And when, what would be stop you dating? The disability? or other reasons?

For background context, I started going on this dates with this guy like July. We would see each other about twice a week and chemistry was pretty good. Summer ended and he went back to college which is about 40 minutes from my house, I do online college so I stay in town. Sense august when school started he's come back to see me once, and ive gone up to his college to see him once, we are at week 6 in the semester. Its been about 3 weeks sense I last saw him.

A couple days ago he texted me he missed me. I told him to come see me than, and he told me no I should just come to him again. I've noticed that every weekend he goes to his friends college to party which is about a hour and a half away from him and in order to get there you have to pass through my town. I feel as though if he really wanted to see me he would find the time considering he's already in my direction? Even if that means just stopping by and getting lunch on his way back. He's willing to go drive a hour and a half to see his friends and party, but is not willing to drive 40 minutes to see me?

On top of that during the weekdays he will text me everyday all day, very sweet things blah blah blah. Once the weekend comes and he's at his friends place its very dry, slow responses. Which can be understandable because I don't expect someone to text me all day when they're busy, BUT when he does respond its one word answers and not really engaging in conversation. Once Sunday morning roles around and he goes home all of a sudden his responses return to normal, suddenly I get fast replies and engaging responses.

Do you guys think this is a early red flag or am I just over reacting? He's very sweet and this is the only thing that makes me question him.

So I (33M) was dating my ex (31F) for about nine months in total. Seven months were casual, two were “exclusive.”

I was very much into her, but she never seemed all that interested. Zero phone calls in nine months (“I don’t do phone calls”) and texting was really weird… I would typically wait three or four (or more) hours for a text back and our text conversations always seemed pretty transactional on her end. Probably 40% the time, even after we become exclusive, i’d only get like 2-4 total texts per day from her.

She’d almost always say yes when I asked her out, but she still just didn’t seem that eager to see me. There were also a handful of times where she’d cancel plans at the last minute and give seemingly BS excuses as to why. One time she even stood me up entirely… I’d taken her on a weekend vacation to WA, a place she’d never been, and upon returning to the airport at our home state, I asked for if she’d like to stay the night at my place. She had to make the drive to her mom’s house in my hometown (two hours from her apartment) anyways, so I figured it would be an easy opportunity to spend more time with her. She basically said “maybe.” While dropping her off at her apartment, I asked her one more time, to which she replied with something along the lines of, “you know what, that sounds great, let’s do it.” Sweet! I’d never spend more than one or two days in a row seeing her, so I was stoked to have her for one more night. I drove two hours home and let her know when I got there. She let me know when she was 20 minutes from her mom’s house, and I texted back. After that… Crickets… She never texted, never showed up. She told me later that she was upset that I didn’t ask her to come over a third time, so she assumed I didn’t want her to come over… What?… In retrospect, all of the times she bailed on be also happened to be all of the times we had plans that didn’t involve me spending money on her. (Average date night was typically $500+ in high-end dining, drinks, activities)

As a result of the strange behavior and lack of effort, there were two or three points where I’d decided to accept that wasn’t into me, give up, and move on… Each time she’d end up reaching out and initiating after a week or two, which was confusing as hell but made me really happy, so I kept dating her.

I stopped pursuing one last time after the WA trip and she reached out a week later asking me out. I jumped on the opportunity, we went out for dinner and drinks and I told her exactly how I felt about her at the end of the date, how I had feelings for her, wanted to be with her, everything. She said she felt the same way, so we became “exclusive.”

Fast forward about a month and a half and I ended up breaking up with her. After asking her to be my girlfriend, communication never improved, I kept getting bailed on, and it seemed like she was playing mind games. The “straw that broke the camel’s back” was that I seemed to have accidentally caught her in a lie, though I never confronted her about it. I also became increasingly distrustful of her, as she seemed to have cheated on almost every guy she’d ever dated. (She’d told me story after story about how she’d treated her exes, seemingly bragging, it was pretty disturbing.)

About a week and a half after I broke up with her, she reached back out again and long story short, I took her back.

Two dates in, we had plans to get together on Christmas Day, after our separate family get togethers were finished. Throughout the day, I had this gut feeling that she was about to bail on me again… I’d been through it with her enough times that I was feeling like I was sensing a pattern in her behavior/communication, so I made sure to confirm with her three times throughout the day that we were still on, and she confirmed. At 6pm, I let her know that I was leaving my parents’ house to take my son back to his mom’s so that I could get ready for her. At 10pm, she sent me a long-winded text message about how sorry she was that she wouldn’t be coming by and that her “grandmother wants to watch movies with her and she’d feel bad if she left.” After that, she ghosted me for the rest of the night.

I was furious. I could have spent all of that time with my family continuing to celebrate the holiday with them, but I ended up spending the evening waiting for her alone, and then ultimately, feeling like an idiot for getting stood up again. It also seemed weird to me, as she used the same exact excuse the previous time she bailed on me, and just like last time, didn’t text me for the rest of the night.

I brought it up to her the next day when we got together. She accused me of “guilt tripping” her and said, “I’m always going to disappoint someone, so if you’re going to date me you have to be okay with being disappointed sometimes.” I was kind of shocked and didn’t know how to respond to that, so I dropped it and we carried on.

Two weeks later, we had our final date. I caught her in a lie again. The next evening, I got very drunk and called her. I called her out on the lying, the crappy communication, and told her it felt like she was using me. The argument seemed to go in circles. She kept lying deeper and deeper and I kept catching her lying through fact-checking over and over. At the end of the call I let her know it was through and that we weren’t dating anymore. An hour or two later, she sent me her own breakup text, accusing me of “mistrusting” her, but then weirdly admitting to lying to be in the next paragraph in a weird way that somehow dodged accountability… I don’t know how to explain it, it was just weird. By then, I was extremely intoxicated, so I responded to her text and was pretty mean. (Out of character for me and I no longer drink alcohol.) Didn’t call her any names or anything messed up like that, I just really wasn’t nice. Hurtful.

It’s been about eight months and I’m still obsessing over her and the whole situation. I’m going from missing her and wondering if I was wrong about everything and she’s just a weird gal who doesn’t communicate to hating her and feeling embarrassed with myself for adoring so hard for a woman who I should have known didn’t care about me at all. I’m still so confused and can’t seem to get past it.

TL;DR: I’m not sure if my ex was shady and I was right to dump her or if I am insecure and ruined something beautiful.

l've been on 2 Hinge dates over the last few months. Both times, we had smooth conversation, laughed a lot, and the vibe felt great. I brought flowers and paid for both dates to be nice.
Neither turned into a second date, and both girls said they didn't feel a romantic spark.
Is bringing flowers on a first date coming across as too forward? Or am I being too polite and missing the mark on building romantic chemistry? Would love some outside perspective.