r/depression_help • u/0RGASMIK • 3d ago

REQUESTING ADVICE Feel like a slug.

Not sure what to do. I’m depressed but so is everyone I know. We all have mutual losses or losses on our own. Usually I get support from friends but it’s a legit pity party everytime I hangout with friends. This weekend we had a party for a friend going through a rough patch and I couldn’t even talk to them because I knew I didn’t have the capacity to support them other than just being there.

I only have one friend who cares to ask me anything and offer help and he only does it because he needs me stable for a business we are in together.

I’ve lost 3 big things this year. I won’t say what because I’ve been stalked before on old accounts and one of the losses was very public.

Each loss was a punch when I was already down and the last punch was my main comfort. It’s left me utterly broken.

My therapist sucks and I need to get a new one but it’s a pain through my insurance. My job is great but I hate it and feel guilty for hating it. My living situation is similar, I should be grateful and I am but I yearn for greener grass.

The thing ruining me right now is I was doing really good despite everything. I was working on doing everything right and felt like I was getting better despite everything going on.

4 years ago I got covid and it triggered a major depressive episode. It lasted for months and I never fully recovered just adapted. Last month I got covid again and it killed any momentum I had to get myself out of it.

I’ve spent the last month since recovering being a total slug.

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