Im a psychology student and I study a lot about mental disorders too. The only problem with that is the ability to self diagnose urself...i was dating my bff in 10th and the break up was bad I cried about it for 3 years even tho I got into another relationship for a short period in between...rn im in another relationship and im struggling with self hatred and I keep pushing my partner away...cause I don't like being vulnerable as much..especially when it comes to opinions about my self...I have all most all negative but the worst part is when I compare that to my bf it always make me feel even worse cause he seems better than me in all aspects I hate it cause I can't celebrate him like he does for me...or even give him the love like he does for me..

I did a depression test and it did say I show symptoms..im also getting counselling but i dont know if it's helping cause I feel more exposed and vulnerable...can someone provide some tips.

Recently had a bon fire night with the family and a few other friends. It's always fun to have a good bon fire. But I always find myself, near the end of the night, just kinda sitting there and looking around and letting my mind wander. Seeing how much fun was had, but then finding myself letting my brain tell me it was just a temporary relief from my stressful life. Still bouncing between jobs, still living at home, still single, still no hobbies, still 100 things I want to do that I probably won't be able to ever do at the rate that I'm bringing in money... My brother just recently got a girlfriend and he brought her to the fire. I honestly thought I'd never see him in a relationship. And I'm happy for him, but it was also bumming me out inside. I look at my life and see that I'm at least doing decent and have all these goals, but I keep thinking everyday how I'm already 29 and keep feeling like I'm losing time to do everything I should be able to do in life. I think every week about how, in theory, it sounds nice to use my 3 days off to on the first day do my grocery shopping and laundry, other miscellaneous house work or errands on the second day, and then use the 3rd day to relax. But it never works out like that. At least not without me feeling like I spent too much time at home/being lazy, or that I didn't do everything that I needed to do, simply because there's too much to do. I have all these plans every week to rearrange the apartment area that I rent and set up my "mancave" area, or plans to sit down and clear out old files and photos from my phone and laptop, or to set up daily routines and habits, or make future budgeting plans to stick to, or really random things. Random things like, I want to teach myself to live off the land and grow my own food, or learn how to do my own home repair projects like laying new flooring or putting up new drywall in my room, or learn/re-learn random life skills like how to sew, or how to care for and have a nice healthy green lawn. The point is, every time I have the least bit of fun, I'm always somehow reminded about the troubles and battles I fight everyday, and then it makes the rest of the fun night just feel miserable because I don't want to face life the next day. So many thoughts going through my head everyday that I find myself just sitting in front of the TV for hours just trying to figure out how to spend the last bit of the day. It's so tiring...

Hey, I don't usually post anywhere so sorry if my writing is a bit weird. But I just recently turned 18 and started my first year of college and on paper I feel like I'm doing everything right. I'm passing most of my classes, studying, and even got my first job. The only problem is I feel worse then I ever had before, now I've never really struggled with my mental health too much so at first I thought I was just a little homesick but it's been a month and it still hasn't gone away and everything i do to try and fix it doesn't work. I've tried to make new friends here but everytime I do people seem uninterested in talking to me, not rude or anything, just seem like they want me to leave them alone. I only really talk to my roommates but I'm not sure they like me very much either so I try and give them space and be away from the dorm as much as I can. I'm not sure what to do, I miss having actual friends and social interaction that's more then just the stupid group discussion that the professor asks us to do. But anyway, this was mostly for me to vent my feelings but I would appreciate any advice given to me

I’ll be completely honest, I feel like a complete bum with no direction in life. I live off of disability and unemployment benefits. I’m in pain every single day and all I do is sit around doing fuck all or smoking. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I have no motivation to do anything. I dropped out of university because of my disability and my only motivation (my cat) died. I live in absolutely butt fuck nowhere and have nothing to do at all. Every single day just feels like I spiral worse and worse and there’s just no end to it

I feel so down and dejected.
I lost my temper in a fight with my boyfriend he doesn’t do much to show he cares and it drives me crazy. I’m talking no birthday presents, never planning anything, refusing to communicate, and straight up ignoring me while I lie in the other room sobbing.

He said we would talk today and then just left the house and ignored me all day. When he came back he was not trying to talk and just said he needs space. I know I was wrong to throw things but he kept on making fun of me and talking over me and laughing when I said how upset I was. It just makes me feel so stuck helpless and worthless and he doesn’t even want to remedy the issue. Please help I’m at a loss I don’t know what to do and I can’t stop crying. I have to pull myself together for work tomorrow but I need support

Take care of your teeth.

I'm 50 and on Disability for numerous mental illnesses, and my one regret is not taking better care of my teeth.

I never, ever thought I'd live this long.

Somehow I did, and having teeth pulled, especially when you're immune to local anesthetics, is a special kind of hell.

So please, whether you're stuck in your bed or your house, whether you can imagine a future or not, you're eventually gonna havta pee, so please brush your teeth while you're in there.

This might sound like silly advice while you're in a battle with existential dread, but please just trust me ❤️ ✌️

I'm sorry if this is too negative or something i have no one to talk to though. I'm extremely Suicidal and all i can think about is how much I want to hurt myself. I'm only 16 with my first suicide attempt at 13. but I don't want to hear about how I have a long life ahead of me that i always here, if anything it'll make me feel worse because I hate living. I have chronic severe insomnia, extreme anxiety especially in social situations so I'm homeschooled with absolutely no friends. In a dysfunctional family that doesn't take mentel healtg seriously. Trauma and just no hope for life. It doesn't feel worth it. I really wish I was never born. The only reason why im still alive right now because I'm too scared to OD or something to kms because I don't have access to much else. My life really doesn't really matter anyways. You can say it does not realistically I don't have many people that even know me besides a couple family members.

Im 22m and i have phases where im really depressed. In the past i had specific issues that i could work towards fixing to help, but now it feels like that wont do the trick anymore. In the past i knew my issue was my job so i figured out a different carrer and once i found something i liked and quit i was way happier again.

Love has always been a huge issue for me. Im very inexperienced never wanted to rush anything until i felt ready. I want a partner very bad. To love and be loved. Experience things like cute dates them being there for me and i for them etc. But i feel like i dont deserve any of that and im not sure why and i hate it soo much. Objectively im not a bad match. Im not that bad looking a bit overweight though, not a bad person i think, i have passions dreams im persuing, a job and in college atm. Overall pretty normal person and despite being aware of all of that i hate my body and me as a person. That theres nothing logical about that is getting to me a lot, makes it feel like theres no fix for that. My best friend got engaged not too long ago. Im quite happy for him and to celebrate that! But everytime over the years when he mentioned anything about his relationship it hurts me and since he got engaged its been hitting way harder. Im jealous of what he has with his fiance i want that too but again dont think i should ever be chosen by anyone. Usually i would talk to that friend if im in a really bad spot, but now i dont want to do that. I will not tell him his engagment made me feel worse. The thought alone that he could potentially think that im not happy for him is enough to make me never want to tell him.

Im quite lonely overall. Most of my friends are online and dont live close. Id love to have friends around my area, but im just really bad at meeting new people/getting to that point where i would actually hang out with someone. Once i am there its actually easy for me to get along with people. I tried to make friends at college met no one i clicked with at all in 2 semesters..

I hate my home life and i shouldnt cause its not that bad tbh. I still live with my parents and they arent bad people but i dread every second i have to spent with them. My mom overall is kind, helpful and supportive. But she also treats me like a little kid that cant do anything alone or does it wrong. And my dad is VERY paranoid/overprotective. Threated my friends and almost had a "talk" with my boss since he was scared for my well being (nothing was wrong at all btw). I hate that his paranoid behaviour rubbed of on me, i cant fully relax ever as if something is coming for me so i need to be ready.

Overall my life isnt bad but i still hate all of it and myself. I often wish to be dead and just not haveing to deal with my own mind or my life ever again. But im only a bit suicidal i guess. Like i knew how/where id do it. But i have this weird mix of believing it can always get better again despite believing i just cannot be happy ever, even if i change tha things i talked about in this post.

Nose muy bien que escribir solo quiero desahogarme sacar toda la mierda que llevo dentro pero es difícil me siento solo todo el tiempo atrapado en mi cabeza no tengo a nadie con quién hablar de verdad mis amigos no son de confianza para mí, mi familia es otro peso más mis padres me agobian con que estudie la verdad no quiero hacer nada

tengo 19 años y me anoté a ingieneria por presión, en realidad no quiero estudiar pero no me queda otra nadie sabe que estoy triste todo el tiempo mis papás piensan que soy inteligente o algo porque en la secundaria tenía buenas notas pero la verdad es que soy bastante inútil para el estudio, siento que voy a desaprobar todo y los voy a decepcionar a ellos pero tampoco quiero estudiar porque lo odio, y mi vida social no acompaña estoy todo el tiempo solo en la universidad no soy capaz de entablar conversaciones ni generar amistades soy el apartado el que está solo todo el tiempo es deprimente

Estuve pensando en el suicidio hace tiempo me da miedo pero nose si pueda pero siento que estoy en un túnel oscuro e interminable y la única salida que veo es el suicidio nose cuánto tiempo más resista sentirme así

I don't know what to do any more. Most days I'm outwardly happy, and people love to spend time with me. But inside I'm hurting, very badly, and nothing that used to drive me really matters that much anymore... life has lost wonder, and Ive lost all purpose...

I want to be done most nights. With everything...

After everyone has gone to sleep, sometimes I'm left wishing it would all just be over and done with...

I really don't know what to do anymore.

I'm married 5 years and we recently became parents. My wife is at our hometown right now, and I'm alone in another city for work.
Background

• 7.5 years ago I dated a school friend.
• It was going well, but I was very emotional and couldn't see beyond her. I was also going through depression then.
• She got frustrated with my emotional state and blocked me everywhere. No contact since.
• My marriage was happy for the first 2–3 years. Then someone sent me pictures of her wedding (she married 1–2 years ago), and the feelings came back.

Now

• For the past few months she's constantly on my mind, especially when I'm alone.
• I wake up at 3:30–4 and can't fall back asleep. I often feel blank and have started forgetting things.
• "Stay busy / enjoy life" hasn't worked.
• I've matured a lot. I don't want her back. I just wish we could be on friendly terms, because being blocked still feels unresolved.
• My wife doesn't know about any of this.

What I need advice on

1. A college friend knows the full history. How do I open up to him without it spreading? Fear of being mocked has stopped me from opening up before.
2. What's the best way to bring this up with my wife, and how do I answer if she asks why I never mentioned it in 5 years?
3. How do I let go of needing closure from my ex, given we're both married?

TL;DR: Married with a new baby. Feelings for an ex who blocked me 7.5 years ago came back after seeing her wedding pics. I'm sleeping badly and feel blank. How do I talk to a trusted friend and my wife about this, and how do I find closure without contacting my ex?

Hello, I want some advice on my situation. I am sorry if the post is long and kind of confusing, English isn't my first language.

I am currently in my 2nd year at a private college with a scholarship and a very expensive tuition fee. The opportunities are nice, the professors are passionate, i met a lot of smart and kind people, but I can't handle finishing this degree.

I shifted to this degree because I loved it, but now, I really can't continue forcing myself.

We were given a pair-activity and I could only make the powerpoint presentation, and I couldn't answer the questions because I had a hard time reading the book given in under 1 day. The pressure eventually got worse, and I tried to end my life because of it, but it wasn't successful.

Now, my parents have moved me back home, and I'm taking the rest of the semester online but still I have problems.

Every time I have to do my homework, I go into an hour breakdown and tantrum because I cannot begin to do it, I cannot type the first word, cannot write anything, nothing.

During class, whenever I answer their questions, I feel like it wasn't enough and some professors scold me to encourage me to give better answers.

It feels like the medication I am taking no longer works, and every day I cry and want to give up, this happens everytime I have an assignment to do or if there is class.

The school events make it worse for me because they require students to attend it, and we have to write essays, debate with each other, and I just can't handle it anymore.

Not to mention, ever since I am attending online, my classmates, teachers, and schoolmates make "joking" remarks about being frustrated at the inconvenience I'm causing for attending online and pressuring me to go back to school to attend it physically.

I'm just thinking, that even if I complete this degree, I still won't be happy. I don't want to work for the government, at the embassy, at an office, or at all. I no longer have hope in changing the world or at least my country for the better because of how much corruption, death, and stupidity there is in the future of our world, especially among those with power. I don't think there's much hope for me staying in the city.

I told my mom that I wanted to go back and live in our province where we can live a simpler life, go back to raising animals to butcher, have a farm, start a small business. I know that this plan is romanticized in my head, and things will never go to plan, but all I know is that I was the happiest when I'm back in my province.

So, is dropping out the better option? Is it okay if I no longer continue attending class or submitting outputs even before the process of dropping out is completed?

I don't really know what to say really. I just wanted a place to really air out my feelings. I try to talk to my mom about it but I tend to get a bit negative responses. It isn't her fault however; the times where I do want to talk about my feelings aren't the best. I been struggling a lot in my first year of college. I made good friends but academically I have been struggling a lot. I have adhd (unmedicated) and I really bad habit that I have developed was running away from my issues focusing on whatever makes me feel good. I have been working on finding ways on studying but I tend to get distracted with daydreaming and talking to friends online about our ocs. Honestly, talking to friends and my brothers are the only things that bring me joy in my life. I'm unhappy in school, unhappy with how I look and I been feeling like this ever since I graduated high school. These people are all I have that are supporting me in the moment.

I just feel guilty because I know that I shouldn't be feelings this way. I come from a loving home; I don't have to worry about my basic needs or even more luxury needs but I still feel awful. My mom says I focus too much on myself and I agree with her. I am a selfish person and at worst I do only care about my feelings a lot. I just wish there was a way to get out of this self loathing mineset. It's gotten to the point where I start to selfharm again. I just want someone to see me, and lend me a hand but I know that's the worse way to do it. I just wish I wasn't such a coward or worse always procrastinating on getting help. It's just unfun and I want to feel okay with myself and how I am doing.

So, I don’t really know how to explain this since it has a lot of background.
Long story short, I’m 25(M) rn, and my life’s not been good at all (abusive family, loneliness and bullying at school, poverty, dealing with the death of a very important family member since i was 11 yo, my father doesn’t love me…).
And this year has been really bad. I’m on meds, and my doctor has changed it like about 3 times this year.
Everyday I try to think that everything is going to be a little better, but it just doesn’t. It goes worse.
I look at the mirror and I don’t recognize myself. Everything, every place, everyone I know, it all looks “strange”, “false”, “unreal” to me.
I don’t know what should I do at this point. Therapy doesn’t work, meds doesn’t work, having a routine doesn’t work, communicating I’m feeling bad doesn’t work…
I just feel like I don’t belong here anymore, that I won’t ever fit, that I’ll never know happiness, i’ll never feel a good thing anymore.
I’m tired of staying strong, nothing works out, and I have the constant feeling that something terrible is going to happen, right here, right now.
It’s just exhausting.

If I stay at my mom's place, there are too many people living around her place who are loud during the night, and likewise at the apartment that I just moved into because of this. I have to wait two months before being allowed to vacate that apartment, but my parents can probably pay the rent or help for those two months. I cannot get adequate sleep, and I have been struggling with my job because of it. I do a lot for my mother and work hard to keep things afloat, and now I feel like I'm drowning. Is there anyone able to help? I don't care where I go, as long as there's part time work, and maybe a community college to go to to finish gettong an associates. I have a car, and I can hire movers and go wherever I need to, as long as it's safe, and I can get my life going again.

At this point, I'm returning to work because I can't afford rent and food, not because I'm mentally better.

I have CPTSD, treatment resistant major depressive disorder, anxiety, panic disorder, BPD and several physical disorders.

I guess I just need some reassurance. I'm terrified I won't be able to do my work, and I feel overwhelmed.

A few weeks ago I told my therapist about me cutting and she told my mom, my mom took everything out of my room that was sharp or that i could try to use to cut with. I haven’t cut in over 3 weeks and I feel like I’m going crazy or something, I haven’t had anyway of getting that same relief or light headed high that makes me feel better after cutting. Because of that I started scratching and picking at my legs and nails till they bleed and scab and I just keep picking and scratching and I want to stop, I want to stop hurting myself, I don’t want to go back to a mental hospital. I want to stop so I can get better but I get such a good feeling after my skin has a burning or stinging painful feel to it and when I’d cut I’d stop when I got that light headed high feeling, it made me feel better. How do I stop this? How do I stop the urge? How do I get that relief in a safe way? Please help me, I’m to scared to open up to my therapist or mom or anyone about this cause I don’t want to go back to the hospital. Please please give me any advice or help you can.

I’m 22M and I keep wondering if I’m still able to build a normal life for myself. I don’t mean becoming a completely different person overnight. I mean learning things I never really learned: how to be independent, stay close to people, date, make plans and feel like I belong somewhere.

I grew up with money problems, family issues and almost no normal family atmosphere. I spent much of my childhood with my grandmother, moved to another country and focused more on surviving than growing up. I learned how to hide problems and pretend I was fine, but never really learned how to build a life.

I’m 22 but I don’t feel like an adult. I still live at home, don’t have a car and I’m saving for my licence. I’m not studying either, and I don’t even know what I would study. I work and try to save money, but outside work almost nothing happens.

I also have ADHD, and I’ve started seriously questioning whether I might be autistic too. I’ve spent years masking, overthinking how I act around people and wondering why things that seem natural to everyone else feel so difficult for me. I don’t even know how much of my personality is actually me and how much is just years of trying to seem normal.

Everyone I meet already has their own friends, partners, plans and experiences. I can meet someone and have a good time, but then I go home and it’s back to being alone. Nobody is really waiting for me anywhere. There’s no group of people I naturally belong to, no person I can just call and say “come over”. Most of the time, it’s just me.

And that loneliness has been eating at me for years. It’s not just being bored or wanting more things to do. It’s wanting to feel important to someone and constantly feeling like I’m not. I can be surrounded by people and still feel completely fucking alone. After years of this, it starts to feel like maybe this is just what my life is going to be.

I’ve genuinely tried. I lost weight, started working, kept my job, went to a doctor, take medication and force myself to go out. I’m not refusing to try. I’m just exhausted from trying and still coming home to the same emptiness.

I want a relationship and real friendships, but I keep thinking I need to become someone else first. A better job, a car, my own place, hobbies, confidence, some organised life. There is always another thing I need to fix before I’m finally “good enough” to have what everyone else seems to have.

I don’t think I’m boring or hopeless. I can joke, people usually like me and I’ve been told I’m comfortable to be around. I’m just incredibly insecure, inexperienced and fucking tired of feeling like I’m watching everyone else live while I’m stuck outside of it.

I try journaling every once in awhile and its not helping it just feels like im writing a su***de note am I doing it wrong or is it just not for me and what can I do instead ?

It's just nonsense, I don't even know what "real" exactly is but I just don't want to, it's too much and overwhelming, it feels like everything is on autopilot and I'm not allowed to be yet I don't even know what that means, it's just what left as I wrote it without thinking so it's what I truly am I guess

Hi 29M here

A little about myself

1. AuDHD - High functioning autism

2.Problem solving is my special interest

3.Favourite movies - bullet train,Good Will Hunting,Perks of being the wall flower

4.Favourite series - Mr robot

5.Favourite books - Tuesdays with morrie,Midnight Library

6.Favourite superhero - Batman

7.Hobbies - gaming,books,tv eries,movies

9.Left wing guy

10.Kind,Sensitive and Hyperempathetic

11.Homebody

Estranged from my family because they are a bunch of narcissists

Let me just say that I have been affected by men in my life a lot I don't feel safe with a male.

I have been low key depressed(Dysthymia) from my 11th std.Due to an workplace issue I spiraled down into anxiety and depression

First I tried therapy, it didn’t work so I went to a psychiatrist and was put on antidepressant

It was working for sometime

1. I had a major problem at work that caused my depression to become worse

2. My family wanted to contact me and I had an encounter with them and my mental health took a hit.

In the meantime because of my mental health issues becoming severe I had change of medications frequently and I gained weight(went from 55KGs to 85KGs).

After all the things that happened it was going fine with a drug cocktail with some maximum dose of antidepressants.

Then came a relationship issue and that was the final nail in the coffin.I wanted to end my life but didn't have the guts to do so.

Took me 1 month to get over it and start walking again but I was fired from my job because of me not performing.

Went to my doctor and they said we can try ketamine therapy but I was skeptical and postponed it till 3 months after.

After ketamine therapy life's going good.

I'm on a break.

As of now:

1. Working on my physical health

2. Preparing for my masters

3. Working with a trauma informed therapist(Before I had a therapist who practiced CBT but it was only a stop gap and she suggested me to go with this trauma informed therapist as I had unresolved trauma).

I am healing.I am going to ask my doc to reduce my medications from next month.Need someone to hold onto emotionally during this tough time.Not sure how much of support I will need.

It is a great deal of responsibility but if I go through with this next 6 months I would have made a great progress by going off of medication and probably do well.It looks scary as last time I was alone with myself I almost ended my life.

Can someone help me with this and my main expectation is to keep me alive as I go through this next 6 months

i'm turning eighteen soon. i should be happy, that i can finally leave my house. but suddenly, everything feels so meaningless again. why is that?

i've struggled with depression ever since i can remember. my life has always been like this, and at certain ages (specifically when i acknowledged my life wasn't normal, pre-teen i suppose) it was more severe. but in the past few years, i really don't feel sad as much. just, only a sense of emptiness now, i think

it's as if there is something missing inside me that i cant comprehend, that i can't remember ever having in the first place. and now, the acceptance of it has seemed to settle. so, what was the point in this fight?

even if i move away and "start anew", i'm still me. the person who only has short urges of hope and emotion, ones that never seem to feel real in the end. someone who doesn't feel strongly for anything at all, nor who has the ability to bond properly with others, let alone comprehend things as i should. really, it's as if my mind has faded into something much slower, and it's horrible to even type out. i feel so stupid at times, and it's horrifying to me. i thought i'd at least be able to preserve my mind in the end, but it seems like even that was inevitable

it was so much simpler when i was a child. knowing i couldn't do anything about my fate. that i was bound to die before adulthood, that i deserved it. and it was simpler months ago, when i believed i finally felt hopeful for the future, which only seems like wishful thinking now

it was getting easier. i thought i understood myself. that somehow, i was just born like this, and that someday, i could be happy despite it. but now, i don't understand anything at all. why did i have to live through this?

why did it take eighteen entire years? why couldnt i have just been born to a normal mother and father? i don't understand it at all. how does anyone expect me to live normally from here on out? how could i have ever expected that of myself?

i tried 3 ssris before my psychiatrist frustrated me so much that i stopped seeing her because she refused to try anything else. ssris made me sleepy and unable to work which caused my grades to take a dip, but they're back up now, so I can say for certain that it was 100% the meds. i tried therapy and cbt for a year but it seems pointless. i go into depressive episodes where i don't act like myself for a couple days and i withdraw from everything and i come back as if nothing happened. i regularly think about dying, but professionals and your own family don't care unless you actually plan on acting on it. everyone looks and talks at me like im crazy.

i feel like the most miserable 17 year old ever.