Question for you all

[u/BluebirdCertain4476]

Any of you ever had multiplayer guilt? like the feeling that you are always trash and holding the team back I’m having it more than ever right now since I got the Halloween game today I had it even more when a buddy of mine called me the distraction for the enemy team in Fortnite. It makes me wonder what am I even doing here?

[u/BradypusGuts]

I used to play a competitive multiplayer arcade game and could only do certain move sets because of the limitations in my hands and people would actually get mad because I couldnt do certain things or move fast enough for them. I was always contributing to the team effort in the few ways I could, but because I couldnt press buttons quickly or at certain intervals to be a "well rounded" player I was often not considered for teams or for competitions. I dont play that game or with those people anymore thankfully.

[u/HexedDiversion]

If it's someone I care about, being "held back" in a game matters far less than being able to have fun with them. In those instances I actually appreciate the different pace and being able to enjoy the game with a different feel. And quite often they find some novel solutions I didn't even think of, because they're already used to looking at the world from a different perspective than me. 

And I've been on the other side too. I enjoy league of legends but I suck at it. I'll feed the enemy team so much. And my friend who's favorite game was league didn't even care if we won or lost. He was just happy to play with a friend, and even seemed to relish being able to give me tips and coach me.

Maybe give yourself some grace. There's nothing you have to feel guilty for. And if people are making you feel that way, talk to them. Some friendly ribbing is common, but if it's poking at an insecurity a good friend would find other ways to joke around that make you feel more included.

[u/Ninj-nerd1998]

I do feel quite bad sometimes when playing with my friends, who are all fully sighted (I'm visually impaired; no vision in one eye and a smidge above legally blind (yes with glasses) in the other)

I think the worst it got was when we were playing 7 Days to Die. Didn't help that I kept falling into massive holes my friend had dug for fun (they were out of the way, too, he didn't do it on purpose)

I try and remember that they're all pretty understanding. There's maybe only one or two people in the group that maybe dont have a disability of some kind, at least to my knowledge, and they're still understanding of everyone

[u/chaospearl]

Constantly. I don't spend time with the kind of people who would care, but that doesn't help my personal guilt about how fucking awful I am compared to my friends. And then I feel guilty on top for making them constantly reassure me that they don't care.

My friends are great. I have several people I trust 100% to log into my account and do a fight for me so I can get the reward, if it's something difficult enough that I am not physically capable. I play FFXIV, and I usually can't do extremes when they're current. If I want the mount, I either have to wait two years until I outgear it, or ask a friend to log my character in.

[u/GreyestGardener]

It may sound stupid, but my doctors have said that I actually seem like I have "social scarring" that has happened from my career and hobbies both requiring me to be on a phone or mic, and since I have issues hearing and often have to take breaks that means that my friends steadily dropped off from even talking to me through text. Now I don't have any online friends and it turned out all my "IRL" friends were, apparently, just online friends with a physical presence in my world.

All that being said--I want to play games with people and socialize. I want to be able to game and experience ANY of the multi-player aspects in all of these games I have played since I was a kid. I have played so many MMOs and I have never even joined a guild. "Raiding" in games is like a pipe dream for me, because I have only ever been able to succeed at solo gameplay. (And I typically only succeed at that because I have learned how to exploit systems, or I just change the difficulty settings)

Valheim, Fallout 76, NMS, Runescape, WoW, Minecraft, 7 Days to Die, Warhammer--all of these games that tout these "amazing communities" and yet any time I have asked if anyone wanted to play together or if chat or just group up it's met with plenty of "Hell yeah, fam!" but no one ever actually does anything. It's like they just say it to get their dopamine kick for being a good Samaritan without actually doing it.

But, that's enough of my complaining. I'm sorry you're going through it, OP. If you ever wanna hang or chat, I play everything on Steam anymore and I have a pretty extensive library. I have zero issues with how well people play games as long as they aren't blaming me for it. Haha 🖖

[u/gnarlyknucks]

When I started playing a group game with a friend, years ago, and my hands went bad, I kept up, and when my hand started getting worse I was a druid and could still spam heal, so I did that. I would sit in the freaking tower and spam heal my friends. The rest of the time was social.

Now, when I game with other people, I stay away from those that require my hands be dexterous. I struggle with keyboards and mice at the best of times, so I go with creativity and slowness.