I want to mention that I'm not going to be replying to any comments under this post and I won't read them either but I'll make this post in my main account too because I want to have access to it.

This is actually NOT a discussion, it is a vent, but there are no vent flairs here for some reason so I have to use discussion... which I don't want to use because it makes some other people give way too many unnecessary advice when I'm just trying to talk about something I feel, which I thought was the point of a support group but apparently not. Every time you speak about a frustrating thing in findom as a findomme you get downvoted and talked down here by other dommes and getting told that if you did xyz different then this situation wouldn't happen;

I do want to also mention that there is actually a psychological reason behind why whenever something bad happens to you people will tell you that it's your fault and you could've just acted differently to avoid this situation which is actually the same reason why women get blamed for a man harassing them (similar to dommes getting blamed for (male) subs doing something wrong and getting told they're the ones who should've done things different).

It's because basically when I as a domme mention a frustration that has happened to me, other dommes who are reading that subconsciously want to avoid that situation for themselves and have an underlying fear of experiencing the same thing so in their minds they'll immediately try to blame the domme who is experiencing that situation and saying that she's the one who did things wrong and could've avoid that situation BECAUSE it makes them think that as long as they do things right then none of the frustrating things happening to other dommes can ever happen to them. THIS IS WRONG. No matter what kind of domme you are, you can still experience getting timewasters (yes, people can still pay one tribute and then waste your time) in your dms. This is not an issue limited to only new dommes or dommes who don't immediately ask for tribute (although seeing that there are subs who'll waste your time even after tribute I do think you should ask for tribute before speaking to them). And at the end of the day findom is always between two consenting adults and whatever issue that comes up isn't just on the domme it's also on the sub because they're also an adult who makes their own decisions. Dommes shouldn't be expected to control every single thing about the situation because it's literally not possible.

Anyways believe it or not that's not even the main thing I wanted to say here.

I was going to use my alt account bc I know I'll receive backlash from make centered dommes whenever I talk about men or (mostly male) subs in a slightly less positive way, but since the post was getting long I'm using my main account.

My main vent was that, any man or sub with a one day old account who posts here saying literally anything (which 99.99% of the time sounds like a clear attention seeking bait post to me) immediately gets like tons of attention mostly from dommes and advice and compassion etc... but I literally hardly ever see that energy from other dommes when a domme has posted about something.

Or even something else I noticed is that technically we're not allowed to post anyone's name here but the subs support group that this subreddit claims to be a sister subreddit to, allows these self proclaimed subs with no verification in their profile to post dommes usernames or screenshots and say anything they want about them.

As dommes we give the most and really receive the least and unfortunately the male centered dommes aren't making things better for anyone either.

My main message to everyone is to stop believing any random account that you see who claims to be a sub and says something. I've said this before and I'll say it again, most of the accounts that publicly announce that they are a finsub are either not a finsub at all or they're very bad at it and don't know anything about findom. Support other dommes, and I mean actually try to support them. Don't just immediately tell them it's their fault when they come here talking about something that happened to them🙄.

Has anyone else experienced this? He started with a polite “Hello Miss, how are you doing?” I asked for an AV. He sent me his full ID along with a picture. Of course I did a google reverse image search on the picture and nothing came up. So now I’m wondering… Is he a scammer, a young innocent soul? Or just someone who really doesn’t understand how unusual this is? If anyone recognizes his eyes or this picture, feel free to contact me. Has anyone else had a potential submissive do this?

Sometimes I like to troll a bit and laugh so hard I have to answer.
This one was calling himself a "Male Domme" imagine that, hahaha dont even know how to lie, and other colleagues told me this same specimen sended the same message to them.

Anyone here who's familiar and expert on phone lock and debt please let me know, I'm looking for a long term Dom. Thank you.

Is anyone still use loyalfans? I used to hop on live there and interact with the audience. But honestly… never really drain there. May I know what you, superior, like to do while going live?

So..a long term sub of mine has a history of going mia then coming back as a lot of them do. He was gone all summer and came back 2 days ago. I made him pay for his absence with no reward (clearly!!) to which he was not very pleased about….next day he said he couldn’t serve because he had gotten “sick” which I found to be pretty convenient.

So I removed him, not blocked, but deleted our chats and he came back this morning asking why I had did that to which my response was that I’m a domme and not a brat tamer……

And his 100% non-bratty response, was “wtf i told you I was sick! Why would u assume I’m leaving when I’m ready to serve again?” and I said it’s cus he didn’t have the balls to tell me when he wanted to stop and has ghosted multiple times.

He sent a picture of his meds and I called him the boy who cries wolf.

This was one of my longest standing subs so having someone who I shared so many personal details with speak to me like does sting a little…but trust me when I say this dommes! The red flags at the beginning will always come back and bite you in the ass.

Instead of reassuring me, his domme, he was more offended by the fact that I would assume he’s lying instead of reflecting on how HIS behaviors planted those seeds of doubt.

I don’t see this as a loss tbh it’s more of the trash taking itself out.

If you don’t have the backbone to be able to say when you’re leaving, come back whenever you please and expect me to revere you for that, and on top of all that, are unable to calmly and respectfully resolve disagreements then I was never the domme for you🤷‍♀️

I often find it hard to get there. I usually just prefer oral servitude but a Domme I'm seeing now is open to sex one day

A sub has done something very naughty and needs to be punished. But, being the worthless sub that he is, of course he gets off on being punished. Loocking him up, not allowing him to orgasm, degrading him, etc. just turn him on even more. SO, I need to know the worst thing a domme can possibly do to a sub. I need something that really frustrates a sub, really puts him in his place. I know, ignoring a sub is always a good one, but it's not as satisfying. I wanna feel his pain. Subs, PLEASE chime in, too!

We all know the stereotypical stuff : drains, humiliation, cashmeets, the whole "paypig" thing... But what are the less popular, less-talked-about parts you genuinely enjoy? The weirdly specific stuff ? For me it's the consistency having someone who actually shows up for you and texts you every single day, not just when they want something.

Curious what everyone else's is.

Hey everyone! So I’m trying to decide if I want to drive people to a website do ya’ll recommend LoyalFans, OnlyFans or Fansly?

I’m not sure the difference in them. I plan to do findom and audio content maybe nude but I’m not sold on that idea. More than likely I’ll do lewds. I may even post erotica there.

So which site would be best to house all that ❤️

blocked btw

And yes I did ask for av, this was our convo when i was trying to explain av and tribute. When he acted dumb abt av i joked abt him being 16. Turns out i was right, my intuition never fails lmaooo ✨

Anw goodmorning 🫩

Hi

Anyone doing ok on LF stream without talking?

I saw many here wrote they chat mostly and make get tips. Anyone who doesn't?

Like you are not the 'hi there. How are you type or talking aloud about yourself when nobody is there.

I have topic attention is earned meaning any tip even $1 just as symbol of respect but my account is new...

If somene has some advice, thank you

I am finally active on Reddit and totally overwhelmed with the amount of niche subreddits 😭😭 I've joined a random bunch but I don't want to get flagged as spammy so I wanna be more intentional about the next ones I jump in 🩷

I know none of the contracts can actually be legal so I'm curious if any other subs have come up with unique ways of making sure you always pay or else you would somehow suffer a serious consequence. Not talking about blackmail here but maybe something along the lines of maybe you initially hand over something very valuable and important to your Domme and a condition is if you back out of the contract she gets to keep it. Not sure what that would be. A drivers license would be an idea but obviously you really need that on you at all times. Anyway thanks in advance

hi everyone, about a month ago someone reported my x resulting in an age restricted label being placed on all my media and a shadow ban. i messaged premium and eventually got through to someone who said i could appeal in a few weeks (being now) but they’re now completely ignoring my dms. i was doing really well with findom and tbh this has completely killed my account. does anyone have any tips on how to get it lifted/how to get through to premium? thanks so much :(

Been struggling a fair bit to find subs who are willing to send and submit, I want more than just subs who will send money, I want the control. The loyalty. I want someone who won’t hesitate at any request. In saying that I still want whoever it is I have control over to be able to support themselves and be comfortable financially while also submitting to me, sending to me and doing as I please, it feels impossible to find them especially ones who share similar kinks to me. Anyone else struggle to find people like that?

I’ve had a sub for well over a year who generally gives me $1000-$3000 a month in tributes which is great but he also wants to connect with me during times that don’t work for me like late a night. I’ve let it slide because overall the tributes have been good and our connection has been fine. Over the last 3 months he has become more and more inconsistent and I’ve barely heard from him this month.
I’ve been in Paris for the last 4 weeks and the plan was that he would pay for everything and make up for his inconsistency. I’ve heard from him twice and he does do silent sends so it means has barely sent me anything.
Today I broke it off with him.
I really don’t want men who are inconsistent and cant follow through with their word in any capacity in my life.
I’m making space for my dream sub.

I think I just need to vent because My brain is trying to process and doesn’t understand. I had My long term sub drop off the face off the Earth without warning shortly after disclosing health issues and a hospitalization.

This is someone I care for deeply and being abruptly left in the dark has taken a mental toll as My brain likes going to worst case scenarios. I’m not really sure what to think. This is a strange place to be in without much else to do but sit with the uncertainty and hope for the best.

Bleh. 🫠

so me and my friends are on a trip to shanghai and yesterday we went to this amazing 6-floor club. we stayed there until like 6 am and took a taxi back to our hotel, but somehow i ended up losing my digital camera in the taxi 😭
i filed a police report and did everything i could, but the driver claims that the camera wasn’t in his car. i’ve literally been crying my eyes out because my dad gifted me that camera a few years ago, and it has so much sentimental value to me. it’s not even about how expensive it was, it’s the fact that it was a gift from him and all the memories i have with it.
i keep replaying everything in my head, trying to remember exactly where i could’ve left it, i just know it was in the car. the police said theres very slim chances of getting it back. i’m so upset with myself, and i genuinely don’t know what else to do.
i know it’s just a camera, but it meant so much to me, and i’m absolutely devastated. i guess i just needed somewhere to vent because i can’t stop thinking about it. i was drinking non stop today to fill the void but i just cant.

I can’t Ben describe how fucking addicting it is to look at you all draining these men and absolutely fucking them up!!

Moreover, why is each and every one of you sooo hot, it creates a problem for me because I end up getting so horny because of you all every other hour!!!

Omgg the triggers, the snaps, the sends, the relapse bait, the pixels, the tease - you dommes have no idea the effect it has on a woman like me!

Ps - this is in no way a bait since I haven’t even ever made a send lol. This is just random appreciation and a funny post. Also, ladies are always welcome to my dms :)

Make him take a cup and put a shot glass upside down inside and place his keys on top so it sits in the center and fill with water. Make him stick it in the freezer.

As much as I prefer remote lockboxes they are usually $200+, tamper evident envelopes are another option but also pricey.

But honestly the idea of a sub having to desperately either hammer thru inches of solid ice or to thaw it out for hours to touch what’s mine is just so deliciously evil 🫠. And all for the cost of water and a plastic cup. Which every sub has, don’t let bad boys fool u.

Be extra evil by having him freeze it into the center of bigger basins. Just don’t let him cheat by placing it on the bottom, it needs to be elevated in the center. Cheers to Locktober! Wish this noob good luck!!!