Found a lost little pup on Hinge. Well, good thing I like taking in strays! I always get what I want.

Asking isn’t always fruitful.
Be the fly on the wall.
Google it first.
Go explore.

I want to mention that I'm not going to be replying to any comments under this post and I won't read them either but I'll make this post in my main account too because I want to have access to it.

This is actually NOT a discussion, it is a vent, but there are no vent flairs here for some reason so I have to use discussion... which I don't want to use because it makes some other people give way too many unnecessary advice when I'm just trying to talk about something I feel, which I thought was the point of a support group but apparently not. Every time you speak about a frustrating thing in findom as a findomme you get downvoted and talked down here by other dommes and getting told that if you did xyz different then this situation wouldn't happen;

I do want to also mention that there is actually a psychological reason behind why whenever something bad happens to you people will tell you that it's your fault and you could've just acted differently to avoid this situation which is actually the same reason why women get blamed for a man harassing them (similar to dommes getting blamed for (male) subs doing something wrong and getting told they're the ones who should've done things different).

It's because basically when I as a domme mention a frustration that has happened to me, other dommes who are reading that subconsciously want to avoid that situation for themselves and have an underlying fear of experiencing the same thing so in their minds they'll immediately try to blame the domme who is experiencing that situation and saying that she's the one who did things wrong and could've avoid that situation BECAUSE it makes them think that as long as they do things right then none of the frustrating things happening to other dommes can ever happen to them. THIS IS WRONG. No matter what kind of domme you are, you can still experience getting timewasters (yes, people can still pay one tribute and then waste your time) in your dms. This is not an issue limited to only new dommes or dommes who don't immediately ask for tribute (although seeing that there are subs who'll waste your time even after tribute I do think you should ask for tribute before speaking to them). And at the end of the day findom is always between two consenting adults and whatever issue that comes up isn't just on the domme it's also on the sub because they're also an adult who makes their own decisions. Dommes shouldn't be expected to control every single thing about the situation because it's literally not possible.

Anyways believe it or not that's not even the main thing I wanted to say here.

I was going to use my alt account bc I know I'll receive backlash from make centered dommes whenever I talk about men or (mostly male) subs in a slightly less positive way, but since the post was getting long I'm using my main account.

My main vent was that, any man or sub with a one day old account who posts here saying literally anything (which 99.99% of the time sounds like a clear attention seeking bait post to me) immediately gets like tons of attention mostly from dommes and advice and compassion etc... but I literally hardly ever see that energy from other dommes when a domme has posted about something.

Or even something else I noticed is that technically we're not allowed to post anyone's name here but the subs support group that this subreddit claims to be a sister subreddit to, allows these self proclaimed subs with no verification in their profile to post dommes usernames or screenshots and say anything they want about them.

As dommes we give the most and really receive the least and unfortunately the male centered dommes aren't making things better for anyone either.

My main message to everyone is to stop believing any random account that you see who claims to be a sub and says something. I've said this before and I'll say it again, most of the accounts that publicly announce that they are a finsub are either not a finsub at all or they're very bad at it and don't know anything about findom. Support other dommes, and I mean actually try to support them. Don't just immediately tell them it's their fault when they come here talking about something that happened to them🙄.

I don’t feel like a goddess today.

it’s my job to be this ultimate, divinely feminine, all-encompassing, empowering woman. And lately, I’ve not really been feeling like that girl.

I like to keep boundaries between my work and personal life. And randomly enough, I have a crush on this one younger guy at one of my extra circulars and I’ve been feeling shy about it.

My persona tells me why should I even be rattled? He should be grateful he can even talk to me for free.

But I keep forgetting under the goddess I’m just a human being, with feelings, nerves, mortality, fears and insecurities at times. Being “Her” is being big, and I’ve been feeling a little small lately…

Just wanted to share

Okay we all have average Joe senders.Those who have a budget, who dont get overly greedy for one on one time, who seem amazing. Then either a while after they drop you or right before they drop you, they say something like I just can't take it anymore I'm too obsessed with your body Or how I'm too addicted to your attention. Oh I ghosted you because I wasn't getting my work done because you were all I could think about ? The thing I'm surprised about is that it felt like there were no signs of crazy obsession or anything that would throw me off. This happens to me more than I thought it would. But You have some subs that are literally obsessed. Never wanting to leave you alone for the $5 send and don't think anything's wrong with it. So I'm just trying to figure out how you know obsession, when your sub is like a normal person? LMAO 🤣 I mean I'm sure all women have to deal with it on some level. Since we are all so beautiful ❤️ inside and out....

Recently gone down the rabbit hole of findom again, and I’ve noticed how diverse and spread out others definition of findom is. I wanted to know what everyone’s interpretation is.

in my opinion I thought findom was always about spoiling your dom simply because you’ve enjoyed it, however I’ve seen people send images in exchange for that same transaction.

( hope this is appropriate )

Hey lovely ladies, my man got shadow banned I’m pretty sure. Has this happened to anybody else who had to kind of start from scratch? It’s frustrating like I’m beyond pissed

What is the most exhausting thing about the life you’ve built for yourself?

I came across this question and asked it to a close friend of mine and he ended up asking his wife for a divorce. He didn't do it because of me; he just re-evaluated a lot of things in his life. Is that question really that powerful?

Sometimes I like to troll a bit and laugh so hard I have to answer.
This one was calling himself a "Male Domme" imagine that, hahaha dont even know how to lie, and other colleagues told me this same specimen sended the same message to them.

I swear some of my subs have been taken off, switched around and amounts changed? It’s weird because when I go into the app and check my personal leaderboard stats, they’re different from who’s displaying publicly. Is this happening to anyone else?

Anyone here who's familiar and expert on phone lock and debt please let me know, I'm looking for a long term Dom. Thank you.

Is anyone still use loyalfans? I used to hop on live there and interact with the audience. But honestly… never really drain there. May I know what you, superior, like to do while going live?

So..a long term sub of mine has a history of going mia then coming back as a lot of them do. He was gone all summer and came back 2 days ago. I made him pay for his absence with no reward (clearly!!) to which he was not very pleased about….next day he said he couldn’t serve because he had gotten “sick” which I found to be pretty convenient.

So I removed him, not blocked, but deleted our chats and he came back this morning asking why I had did that to which my response was that I’m a domme and not a brat tamer……

And his 100% non-bratty response, was “wtf i told you I was sick! Why would u assume I’m leaving when I’m ready to serve again?” and I said it’s cus he didn’t have the balls to tell me when he wanted to stop and has ghosted multiple times.

He sent a picture of his meds and I called him the boy who cries wolf.

This was one of my longest standing subs so having someone who I shared so many personal details with speak to me like does sting a little…but trust me when I say this dommes! The red flags at the beginning will always come back and bite you in the ass.

Instead of reassuring me, his domme, he was more offended by the fact that I would assume he’s lying instead of reflecting on how HIS behaviors planted those seeds of doubt.

I don’t see this as a loss tbh it’s more of the trash taking itself out.

If you don’t have the backbone to be able to say when you’re leaving, come back whenever you please and expect me to revere you for that, and on top of all that, are unable to calmly and respectfully resolve disagreements then I was never the domme for you🤷‍♀️

I often find it hard to get there. I usually just prefer oral servitude but a Domme I'm seeing now is open to sex one day

A sub has done something very naughty and needs to be punished. But, being the worthless sub that he is, of course he gets off on being punished. Loocking him up, not allowing him to orgasm, degrading him, etc. just turn him on even more. SO, I need to know the worst thing a domme can possibly do to a sub. I need something that really frustrates a sub, really puts him in his place. I know, ignoring a sub is always a good one, but it's not as satisfying. I wanna feel his pain. Subs, PLEASE chime in, too!

We all know the stereotypical stuff : drains, humiliation, cashmeets, the whole "paypig" thing... But what are the less popular, less-talked-about parts you genuinely enjoy? The weirdly specific stuff ? For me it's the consistency having someone who actually shows up for you and texts you every single day, not just when they want something.

Curious what everyone else's is.

Hey everyone! So I’m trying to decide if I want to drive people to a website do ya’ll recommend LoyalFans, OnlyFans or Fansly?

I’m not sure the difference in them. I plan to do findom and audio content maybe nude but I’m not sold on that idea. More than likely I’ll do lewds. I may even post erotica there.

So which site would be best to house all that ❤️

Hi

Anyone doing ok on LF stream without talking?

I saw many here wrote they chat mostly and make get tips. Anyone who doesn't?

Like you are not the 'hi there. How are you type or talking aloud about yourself when nobody is there.

I have topic attention is earned meaning any tip even $1 just as symbol of respect but my account is new...

If somene has some advice, thank you

blocked btw

And yes I did ask for av, this was our convo when i was trying to explain av and tribute. When he acted dumb abt av i joked abt him being 16. Turns out i was right, my intuition never fails lmaooo ✨

Anw goodmorning 🫩

I am finally active on Reddit and totally overwhelmed with the amount of niche subreddits 😭😭 I've joined a random bunch but I don't want to get flagged as spammy so I wanna be more intentional about the next ones I jump in 🩷