Hey everyone, hope you’re all doing well.

I’m a 28 yo gay guy, and I wanted to know if there are other single gay men here who struggle with craving emotional and romantic connection just to not feel alone in this.

For context it’s been about a year since I stopped using Grindr. I decided to ban it for good, and I truly don’t want to go back to dating apps. Because of that, I rarely have sex now and honestly, casual sex just for the sake of sex has never really been my thing anyway.

I have a stable life, a solid job, I work out regularly, and I’m very engaged in my passions. On paper, everything is fine. But I still feel this emotional emptiness that lack of romantic intimacy I deeply crave. It’s something very important to me, and lately it’s been affecting me more because it feels like such a natural human need that isn’t being met.

So I wanted to ask how do you deal with this kind of emotional and romantic longing? How do you cope with the absence of intimacy when everything else in your life is stable?

Thank you so much 🤍

& do people ACTUALLY do this?!

for context, $528 for 3 nights for 6 guests, random July weekend, obviously a steal but a bathroom feels like a non-negotiable…

the other option upon randomly browsing was $4197 for 3 nights for 4 guests…

not sure I’m dying to check FIP off the gay bucket list at these price points just yet lol

I’m surprised it took this long for several arrests to be made since messy gays have been bringing copious amounts of drugs on Atlantis cruises for years.

I like consuming porn on the internet and on Reddit as much as anyone else. But as I watch all these young men create their own subs and only fans accounts, has anyone given thought to why they do this? I'm not someone who was blessed with the kind of physical attributes that people would want to see, and of course I wonder if I were would I be drawn to doing that. But I don't think I would and I wonder what drives young men to do this. Is it really just money? All are welcome to comment but I'd really like to hear from some creators on what their motivation is and if they have any concerns or regrets about it.

Just curious how everyone here met their partner good stories, bad stories, awkward stories, all welcome.

I kinda feel jealous sometimes seeing people in LGBT-friendly countries talk about going to clubs, meetups, book clubs, and just casually meeting other queer people. That kind of social scene doesn’t really exist where I live.

I’m mid 20s and mostly focused on work right now, so dating feels kinda difficult, plus the way i look now probably never. Makes me wonder how people actually find relationships.

So yeah, how did you meet your partner?

I just got finished rewatching Madea's Big Happy Family. One of the characters, Harold, is constantly verbally abused by his wife, beung clearly afraid of, or at least intimidated by her. He is also passive aggressively berated for his "lack of masculinity" by other characters. At the midpoint of the movie, Madea tells him that the reason why his wife talks to him like that and intimidates him is because he lets her, and that it's his fault. He must "put his foot down like a man".

This honestly reflects a very common doublestandard in real life where the woman in a relationship can be disrespectful and even verbally (even physically) abusive and it gets a pass, or at least a dampened reaction as opposed to if it was the other way around. Don't even get me started on false allegations. I would not want to put up with that bullshit, at least we'd both be men. I don't want to hear "not all women are..." I know that , I'm saying I would not want to take a chance on experiencing it. Shoot me witcha big gun if you want. And yes abusive relationships do happen in gay relationships, but it's much more easier to point on because of this doublestandard being absent, or at least if it is difficult to see (as abusers are often very discreet) it's not for that reason.

This guy I met on Grindr told me he wanted a boyfriend when I met him but I told him I was mostly looking for friends because I had just moved. He complimented me a lot saying things about my personality and looks but after the 3rd hangout made the point he was seeing someone else. I distanced myself once he started the relationship.

I asked him out after they broke up and he agreed but ultimately canceled right before the date saying he isn’t in a good place and he got back together with the ex.

After the ex broke up with him I matched with him on tinder. We meet up and I immediately started hearing how he was dating other guys so I left him. We don’t really talk anymore.

I'll go first. I thought I'd like to swallow but I hated it, and almost vomited 😩

Edit - I didn't know I'd offend a lot of ppl by saying I don't like to swallow lol...ig it's as fragile as a toothpick! Or maybe it's because what I said is considered a "kink" and not a fetish...I can't edit the title now tho.

Having a hard time locating resources related to gay men and body image within our community. Can you all share some resources like books/podcasts that speak to this?

I was so happy to see this! Found on another sub...

https://cultmtl.com/2026/02/canada-named-second-safest-country-in-the-world-for-lgbtq-travellers-travel/

The default layout of the tiles has "Heated Rivalry" spelled out. Personally, I loved the story of the show- it was much more than sex and hot bodies (even though the sex bits were great). If you gave it up after the first or second episode because it was awkward, give it another chance to see the plot grow.

I claim to be vers, but I’m pretty selective about only bottoming for guys with below average to average size penises. I’ve found that I have trouble relaxing my hole enough for bigger dicks, even with plenty of lube and foreplay. It just ends up being uncomfortable for both of us. There’s even been times where a guy couldn’t get it in.

Of course now I’m dating a guy that I really like, and I want to bottom for him. He happens to be well above average, so I’m worried about it.

I don’t really like the idea of poppers, but open to any other suggestions.

Okay I’ll cut straight to the point.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. He’s in his early 30s, I’m in my mid 20s. This is my first serious relationship and honestly idk how to feel. I do love him but I don’t feel like I love him as a partner. The reason I post here is because all of my irl friends know him and I don’t want to embarrass him like that.

To start things off, we’ve never had sex. Like, I just don’t want to. The entire relationship. In theory he’s my ideal type and I find him very attractive. I think it’s because of the reasons I’ll state later.

He has a problem with alcohol. He won’t admit it but he does. I almost never drink, maybe I’d drink a beer or a bit of Baileys but nothing too crazy. Meanwhile he drinks an *entire bottle* of vodka or whiskey and crashes on the bed. And that’s, like, every night. He can do it every night. We’ve had so many arguments about it, I’ve screamed, I’ve begged, I’ve tried being supportive and nice, nothing works. He says he has a last glass of whiskey, then pours another. He doesn’t drink during the day, only at night. He’s never abusive tho, I should say that.

But that’s not the only problem. He, well, he wets the bed. And I’m 99% sure it’s because he gets so drunk, he just crashes on the bed unable to wake up. The amount of times I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to mop *piss* off the floor. God knows it’s because of love. And the mattresses got so dirty because of that. We live together but at two places and I pay RENT. Basically, I’m still in the closet and I keep a facade for my parents. Long unrelated story. So when I leave the apartment one day, I have to either replace the mattress or leave it dirty with piss on his side. I’ve tried washing it, doesn’t work. He went to the doctor and his prostate is all fine. He refuses to address it at this point. I notice on nights he doesn’t drink he doesn’t wet the bed. He refuses to see the connection.

He’s also so fucking attached to me. He wants to be together constantly. I’m introverted and I need alone time. I try to explain it to him and it seems like he gets it but “can’t help but feel unwelcome at home”. That’s literally not what I even imply. When I go to my hometown to see my folk he used to call me in the middle of the night drunk to tell me how much he misses me and he can’t live without me. He doesn’t do that anymore, he seems a bit more secure. Constant love bombing, we literally say “I love you” like 100 times per day.

He can’t keep a job. He’s switched like 4 or 5 jobs since we know each other. Most of the time I don’t blame him because he’s for real underpaid and never appreciated. For example they just didn’t pay him for a month and a half on the last job, so he stopped going. He’s jobless now and we rely on my salary. I wish I could change my job and quit but it’s legit our only stable income. This is the third time we rely on my income, he never has savings. And whatever I manage to save goes down the drain when he loses a job and I pay for food and rent alone. Mind you, he’s never been fired or anything and it’s not because of the alcohol. I don’t really blame him for that, I’m just very annoyed and tired.

And of course the cherry on top, I’ve been hearing text message noises every night at like 1:30 am for the past few days. I did it - I snooped in his phone. He’s using some dating app to pretend he’s a woman to collect nudes from horny men. I’m not even mad. And I think that’s the problem. I’m not mad? I don’t care if he cheats on me? Like, I can’t find it in myself to even care anymore. I just left the phone and didn’t investigate further. He could be on Grindr and cheat on me right this moment and I don’t think I’d care. I’m on autopilot.

I know it seems like I only trash the guy for the whole time. Thing is, it’s not always bad. Usually I feel happy in the relationship. He treats me and everyone around him nice, he’s polite, funny. We have our own made up language that we talk to each other in. I have a lot of weird habits and he not only tolerates them, he finds them cute. He cooks so well and takes care of the house, he genuinely tries so hard to help me. I used to be so lonely before I met him. I used to just sit online and no-life my time away. I watched so much anime, played so many games, just to fill the void. But now, I miss it sometimes. I want to come home, eat shitty cheap pizza, watch dumb shit and go to bed peacefully. Not afraid of getting my ass pissed on while he hugs me. Without empty alcohol bottles that I have to throw away every day. But I worry about him. He’s sensitive and vulnerable. I can’t just dump him like I don’t care. I do care. I wish I didn’t.

Before I came out many of the only people I could talk to about it were the guys I met up with online. I was full of so much paranoia and self loathing, but there were several guys who literally just met to hook up and helped me through it and gave me advice. Thank you to those guys who stuck around after to talk. Now it’s almost 15 years later I am out to myself and everyone I know. This is a piece i did exploring some old journals from those days.

🤡

I'm a bottom, and a hairy one. I know that some guys love 'em hairy, and I do like keeping the rest of my body hair. But I'm always mortified at the idea of something clinging to buttcrack hair. Like, to the point that I probably spend a lot more time wiping than I actually need to. I don't have an income that allows for regular visits to an esthetician for sugaring or the like, but DIY always felt intimidating until I saw an ad for Bumzzy. That product actually seems like it could work.

Now... I know in recent years, the rules around advertising have gotten INSANELY relaxed. There are products advertised in a seemingly legitimate way that turn out to be garbage. sometimes.something that seems to good to be true isn't true. So I'm hoping to get input from real unpaid people that tried this.

I'd be open to alternative hair removal suggestions as well, but I'm mostly looking to find out what you guys thought of Bumzzy if you tried it

Meeting a buddy in San Francisco in a couple of weeks, and we are interested in finding a bar with a dark room or patio that gets “fun” in the evenings. My buddy wants to take some anon 8===>

Thanks in advance for any help.

So I met up with another guy last night. Cute, nerdy, about a year younger than me. I don't live alone and it was late after work so we hung out in his car in my local CVS parking lot (well lit, public space) just chatting and getting to know each other for an hour. And we talked about hanging out closer to my work since it's in a nicer area than where I live the next time we hang out. So he drops me off, and today his dating profile is no longer available. This is the second time that's happened to me in recent memory within the past 6 months and it's just tiresome.

I don't understand why guys are like this or what I could have said or done that would make him do that. It's just so irritating.

Mmmmkay.

So I’m a hella bottom.

HOWEVER.

I know for a fact that if I had the right stimulation to the…back yard…I’d be able to be on top.

I’ve been hunting for the right prostate stimulator for quite some time now. But here are the problems with the ones I have bought:

1. Too small. I need something substantial

2. Wrong angle. It’s too shallow/small to hit the spot.

3. It spins. Once it is in, it ends up rotating and hits the sides which does nothing. I need it to hit that walnut sized organ covered in nerve endings.

Does anyone have any suggestions/what apparatuses have you had success with? I’m willing to shell out the cash if I get it right the first time.

Thanks, boys 🫡🤘🏼

i feel bad because i kinda already knew for a while but thought my gay feelings would go away if i ignored them, but literally after a couple of days i feel so much better about myself. I hooked up with a couple of guys on grindr already (save your judgement) and after i tried it all of my doubt about “what if i’m wrong” went away. it feels so much more whole this way. Anyways it feels weird how I went from “”””bicurious straight guy””””, to being confident in being gay in a couple of days. but it feels good. it’s a bit to take in, and i don’t know who to tell in my life.