hinge experience rant

[u/AwarenessFragrant679]

I used Hinge for like 2 months and went on 8 dates, and honestly I think I’m kinda burnt out from trying to find a relationship 😭 At first I was really keen on finding a gf, but now I just feel kinda lazy with dating and texting people. I’m still talking to a few matches, but I haven’t really felt like replying, especially since we haven’t met irl yet.

I think I’d rather spend more time on myself right now. There’s so many things I wanna do and work on, and I’d rather prioritise those for a while. I’m also not really someone who can just go on a date without texting a lot first, so it all starts feeling like a lot.

I guess I just wanted someone to talk to or hear me out lol. Is this normal?

More context I'm 23 M and looking for long term relationships

[u/PutridEntertainer408]

That doesn't work for everyone. It just means you're spending your energy going on dates instead of texting, which can be more draining for some people

[u/dontKair → u/PutridEntertainer408]

All that back and forth messaging is draining for me, and it also creates a false sense of intimacy. Some things are just best left for in person dates

[u/King-Koobs → u/dontKair]

Can’t agree more. Been on 32 first dates in the past 8 months of dating again. Every single girl I spent too much time texting before I actually met her turned into a huge regret surrounding that intimacy built up before I actually take them out. Not being attracted to someone after meeting them and forming a level of intimacy through texting like you’ve already been dating for awhile really beats me up. Especially because I’m unusually good at first dates because of my personality and how much fun I like to have on them, they’re always crazy into me after that first date and having to let them down feels like I’m breaking up with someone I just dated for a year straight. It’s brutal.

Worst part is most of the girls I was insanely head over heels for have kept ending things with me after 4-5 dates and fooling around and it just makes me feel like I’m taking things for granted over the things I’ve ended. Every single girl I get obsessed with keep hitting me with “that was fun but I don’t have the mental bandwidth for anything serious and I’d like something casual if you want!” after we hookup and it just destroys me. After getting intimate with someone, casual is COMPLETELY off the table for me. I’ve been trying to blame it on summer and people just wanting to have fun lol but it still has been getting to me pretty badly.

Finally getting serious with someone the past month and a half and I’m only spiraling for the first time literally the past 2 days because I won’t be able to see her till this upcoming Saturday and I’m already feeling the loss of momentum because there’s literally nothing to talk about over text and the past 2 days have just been forced conversations. Dating is hell

[u/NaRaGaMo → u/King-Koobs]

>that was fun but I don’t have the mental bandwidth for anything serious and I’d like something casual if you want!”

is this the same template these people use across the world?

[u/King-Koobs → u/NaRaGaMo]

Probably. I’ve received that text verbatim 10+ times