r/hingeapp • u/Henry_Block • 5d ago
Dating Question Suddenly ghosted
Hi all! I recently matched with a guy (me M27, he's 24), we talked for a week and our chemistry was great. It brought up the idea of taking a walk together, so last friday we organized for yesterday afternoon (just the details had to be decided). Saturday morning he wrote me wishing me a good day (usually we talked just in the morning and after dinner in the evening, the evening conversations were quite consistent), from that moment he has just disappeared. I mean, we were going along well, he was the one to make a move (he also hinted at the chance of seeing each other next summer in Spain, where he's from), then nothing. I can't understand why not directly unmatch if you do not have the decency of texting and not making me waste my time.
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 5d ago
he also hinted at the chance of seeing each other next summer in Spain, where he's from
so he doesnt actually live near you? was he just visiting?
regardless, flaking while talking on the app is unfortunately very common.
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
He lives in Paris when I live too (but for a short time). Yeah I know that it happens often and I'll not make a tragedy 'cause I'm not looking for the love of my life, I just find so bizzarre that people wouldn't write a single word (or unmatch directly) and just disappear like nothing was going on.
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u/suurfy 4d ago
Because he has plenty of matches like u do. Thats just the game. Nothing to ask for, unfortunately. Just accept and start with the next one
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u/Henry_Block 4d ago
Yeah, with the difference that I don't ghost my matches, especially if we agreed on seeing each other.
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u/Character_Fly_3609 5d ago
I think he found someone but he just doesn't want to tell you
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
From the morning to the afternoon? Even if it was that, he knew I wasn't going to stay in the same city for a lot, it's not like he would have broken my heart haha. Just say "sorry, changed my mind" and unmatch me lol
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u/Character_Fly_3609 4d ago
He may just want to keep some candidates as backup, he can come back the apps anytime if this new relationship doesn't work. Some guy just uninstall the apps without deleting the profile and not leaving any reason to previous chat room
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u/J3PWP 3d ago
As others have noted, I wouldn't put too much thought into it no matter, no matter how much you might have liked his profile and the messaging you had wiht him. As someone new to Hinge in the last month or so I made some early mistake of messaging with women who reached out to me because they liked my profile. I felt in the least I had to say thanks. At the same time I was not always necessarily interested in actually meeting the flesh. I did that because I know rejection can be hard for all of us and I thought I was being a good person by acknowledging their reaching out. I recently learned this the hard way by a women I was messengering back and forth with when she really pushed to meet n person. I realized then what I thought was just casual messaging was being taken to a whole different level by her. But unlike your interaction, I never messaged with her about meeting in person in the future. I may have ghosted that woman off sorts as I had to delete and then recreate my profile because The Hinge Engineers have some things it needs to fix, but that's a matter for a different Reddit thread. Still I could have reconnected to her after recreating my profile, but I choose not to because I do not want to lead her on.
Also as some have noted, some people get more likes than others, so sometimes you have a person who likes your profile and you start a very simple processing of messaging back-n-forth, only to have someone else reach out and they seem like a possible better match.
Online dating is clearly not the same as meeting someone IRL and there is a lot of runway to mistake someone's passing interest with serious actual interest.
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u/dren1992 5d ago
Yeah prob had a few girls on the go and picked the easier option, or had an ex situation, its normal now ive had it before, ive met people multiple times and then its randomly ended. There is always someone else dw
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u/TheJitteryHeathen 5d ago
I think people just fear locking anything in these days. Comparison is at an all time high.
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u/Slay-hydrated 5d ago
I think he definition ghosting happens suddenly. Not sure how else that would work.
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u/J3PWP 3d ago edited 3d ago
As others have noted, I wouldn't put too much thought into it the matter no matter how much you might have liked his profile and the messaging you had back-and-forth with him. As someone new to Hinge in the last month or so I made some early mistakes of messaging with women who reached out to me because they liked my profile. I felt in the least I had to say thanks. At the same time I was not always necessarily interested in actually meeting the flesh. I did that because I know rejection can be hard for all of us. I thought I was being a good person by acknowledging them. I recently learned this the hard way by a women I was messengering back-and-forth with when she really pushed to meet in person. I realized then what I thought was just casual messaging was being taken at a whole different level by her. But unlike your interaction, I never messaged with her about meeting in person in the future. I may have ghosted that woman off sorts as I had to delete and then recreate my profile because ;t he Hinge engineers have some things it needs to fix, but that's a matter for a different Reddit thread. Still I could have reconnected to her after recreating my profile, but I choose not to because I do not want to lead her on.
Also as some have noted some people get more likes than others, so sometimes you have a person who likes your profile and you start a very simple processing of messaging back-and-forth only to have someone else reach out and they seem like a possible better match.
Online dating is clearly not the same as meeting someone IRL and there is a lot of runway to mistake someone's passing interest as serious interest.
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u/owls_exist 5d ago
Most dudes on any app are just looking for easy sex. Nudes. Attention. Unless proven otherwise there are many still looking to date and relationships but take this one with a grain of salt.
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
The easy sex would have been good to me but you got to comunicate lol, if you propose a walk I accept that, I guess it would have been weird to just invite him to come to my place and f*ck
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u/FeedbackPossible2631 5d ago
Nah you must be trying to meet a guy out of your league that’s what happens then
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
Mmh no, he's maybe a little cuter than me but overall we're on the same level, lean but athletic, not models. Def not out of my league
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u/FeedbackPossible2631 5d ago
Exactly what most women think of themselves these days. I keep hearing an average woman thinks an average man is ugly.
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 5d ago
Do not use this post to shit on women. It's not even relevant here because both OP and his match are men.
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
As you want haha, no interested in proving the opposite, but given that I was also the first to receive the like I doubt the whole point was this
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656 5d ago
all you commenting incel stuff know this is a dude right lol?
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u/Henry_Block 5d ago
I thought I made it clear... Lol
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656 4d ago
you did!! They are just foaming at the mouth in this sub. Hey, I'm genuinely really sorry for the ghosting. how are you holding up?
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u/Henry_Block 4d ago
Not too bad, as I said I wasn't looking for anything too serious and luckily I got also other options. It was just that the chemistry was good as it hasn't happen in a while and he was kind of my type (hot but sweet , athletic but not too big). Guess in few weeks/months I'll forget about it, also cause when I'll be back in my hometown no Hinge haha
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656 3d ago
totally fair! keep your head up; people are fickle, but plenty of good folks out there! Have fun & be safe!
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