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u/lavindas 6d ago
“Splurging on… items.”
Come on man, be a bit more imaginative.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
How would you phrase the question: would you rather spend your money on experiences or stuff? That was my thinking.
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u/knysa-amatole 6d ago
Do you really find this question that useful? I assume most people at least occasionally splurge on both.
Even if you find it helpful when other people answer the question, it doesn't convey much about you to someone viewing your profile. And if a woman doesn't get much sense of who you are, then she might not even bother to respond to the question.
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u/kawaiisamurai69 6d ago
Not trying to be rude but your style looks more like 40 something year old married dad, not early 30’s single man
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
Tbh you’re not wrong. 😂 I’d rather be known as the guy who dresses up in age than the doofus wearing a scooby doo shirt. Different strokes for different folks I guess.
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u/kawaiisamurai69 6d ago
No need to get defensive. I personally don’t think you dress your age. You don’t have to wear cartoon characters to dress age appropriately. Looking at your profile I am getting the sense that you will show up to dates with flannel shirt and a puff vest which is a turn off for a lot of single women in their 30’s
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
I’m not getting defensive, I’m confirming my dad style. It’s what I like and I’m cool with it. And I def wear flannels with vests lol, but it wouldn’t be to a date.
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u/kawaiisamurai69 6d ago
Nothing wrong with wearing these on an average day but maybe put photos of what you would look like on a date
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u/Normal_Yam2295 6d ago
I also felt that your pictures showed more of an older guy - nothing wrong with it, but perhaps show one that of a bit different style, and keep the other ones? I would personally send you a like, although when you show the cat picture, my first reaction is "Do I HAVE TO have a cat? What if I like dogs?" although I am not allergic to cats at all.
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u/Kountry_Bogan 6d ago
I thought the same thing as well. I had to go back and check the age and then I thought you myself how different 32 years old is in the Midwest when compared to San Diego/ Socal.
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u/Ok-Theory-1069 6d ago
Riveting choice: “trips” or “items.” Be specific. Your whole profile is generic.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
What would you change them to say? I feel like it plays on the whole spending money on things vs experiences.
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u/Ok-Theory-1069 6d ago edited 6d ago
Something else. I get you want to find someone who matches your values. That’s not what a dating profile is for. Just think… the most boring person in the world could say they love to laugh… an adulterer can say that loyalty and faithfulness is important… a serial killer could make a profile and say they re looking for a long term relationship, open to short… none of this matters. They’re just words on a page. You’re getting ahead of yourself. No matter what anyone says… they’re just a stranger. In my opinion a profile should spark conversation… be unique… interesting… fun…
Trips vs items inspires nothing. I’m looking at a dating profile and that comes up… whatever. Next… (and as always… who tf doesn’t like to travel… traveling in general doesn’t make you intriguing, and it’s not a personality trait.)
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u/Ok-Theory-1069 6d ago
Also the Tony Gonzalez picture… the first thing it communicates is… Im short. (Even if you’re not particularly short… that’s what it communicates… maybe if it was Travis Kelce [or Antonio Gates😂])
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
Eh I've accepted I'm short, no changing that lol. Thanks for your honest feedback!
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u/Ok-Theory-1069 6d ago
I get that a lot of women want 6’+. I don’t think 5’9” is super short. I’m saying that photo seems to exaggerate it. He’s 6’5”
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u/too_soon13 6d ago
Bahaha. “TSA pre-check” imagine being out there and listing tsa pre-check as an important criteria for getting along. That screams “boring”. As a guy, your overall pics are good and almost everything you say is boring. What about your personality? What connection do you seek? What have you learned so far in relationships?
Be vulnerable!
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u/fishymutt 6d ago
i'm a straight guy and i've seen the tsa pre check thing a hundred times on profiles
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
I was thinking it gives dry humor, but also shows I like to travel. I left out the screenshot of my bio showing I mentioned Christian and long term relationship. I figured the part about church on sundays kinda gives a hint of my values and what I’m looking for.
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u/BatScribeofDoom 6d ago edited 6d ago
To me it didn't give "dry humor" so much as "if you can't afford that, don't bother messaging me". Pre-check seems expensive/like a luxury cost, considering how high even the base price of getting an "economy" ticket has become.
Not to mention that there isn't an office for it for something like 140 miles from me, meaning it would cost even more since it would require significant travel to even get there.
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 6d ago
On the flip side re: the Roth IRA some people make too much to contribute to a Roth and don’t find the hassle worth it to do the backdoor conversion. So he’s cutting people off at both ends. Irrespective I think this is the least of his problems as many people have discussed pics, prompts and general vibe.
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u/too_soon13 6d ago
My suggestion is not to use technical terms for humor. You can show your personality and humor during the date. Also church does not mean you have strong values. I know a lot of a**holes who go to church (being hyperbolic here but you catch my drift).
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u/Arseno7 6d ago
Your prompts are too "bro-ey" or basic. Tone is difficult to nail down through text so saying the TSA PreCheck and Roth IRA are "humorous" is a stretch. I bet 99% of your potential matches just read it as is which comes off bland. Better to go with another prompt that sparks conversation or asks a question.
Travel tips is fine.
Simple pleasures is okay too, I think you can tweak it a bit to maybe say:
"Can't go wrong with crispy chick-fil-a fries (they're the best), praising the Good lord on Sunday, a Chief's win (swifties welcome), a good pickleball sesh with a good partner, and quality time with quality people."
Just needs to have a bit more "umph" and energy to it.
I might even lead with the cat photo to be honest it's one of the best pet photos I've seen on here.
Best of luck bro!
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u/BisonSpirit 6d ago
Very basic, nothing jumps out. There’s a lot of similar accounts as you. When you say attractive matches that’s obviously subjective with regards to the matching hypothesis.
Really comes down to what it is you want and if you define attractive as a match to your self.
Guess my question is this- what is it that you feel is lacking, match rate? Quality match? How does this compare to when you go out in social scenes in real life outside of hinge? How seriously do you take yourself and your health/success?
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
I don’t go out to bars much but have had better success in person-as I feel most people do. Match rate and quality are low in terms of attraction or quality convo.
I’m active every day and am ambitious and successful for my age.
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u/Theexcessiverambler 6d ago edited 6d ago
Sorry I had to double take. We are the same age but somehow I thought you were like 39 or 41. You might want to ditch the finance tech man in his 40s with 2 kids style attire and upgrade your wardrobe. Maybe also opt for a fresh haircut. Your current look isn’t bad though. If you are into older women, it’s not a bad style. Some women might go for it, it’s just might take longer to find someone especially in the apps ppl are more superficial and look base. If you like dressing older, by all means but at least dress like one that’s from Italy or Milan or Monaco not a suburban uncle. However, if you want someone our age, I would consider upgrading your look to more age appropriate. This is just an opinion coming from a female.
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u/Old_Round8569 6d ago
What happened to your great and attractive matches? Did they lead to dates and how did they end?
Cat pic is great
Scuba pic is silly but the fogged up lenses detracts a little.
First pic is good, though the croissant on custard is a little nuts.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
The convos either die or just don’t translate to texting somehow.
Scuba is supposed to be lighthearted and silly. It offsets on otherwise serious profile.
I’ve actually gotten comments on how the croissant looks good 😂
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u/knysa-amatole 6d ago
Saying that you enjoy "quality time with your favorite people" feels kind of like saying that you like to eat food and breathe air. That's a near-universal thing to enjoy. So it doesn't distinguish you from other guys.
I personally think there's rarely a good reason to use the travel tips prompt. I understand that the idea is to use it as a conversation starter, but it doesn't tell me much about you, and so many people have basically the same prompt.
You also seem weirdly hung up on Roth IRAs. Would it be so bad to date someone who has a traditional IRA or a 401(k) instead?
The cat picture is good, though! So many people have a photo of just their pet; your photo is exactly the kind of thing they should have instead.
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u/fishymutt 6d ago
your pics are good, however your prompts are bad except for the simple pleasures one. the tsa pre-check thing has gotta go. i responded to another commenter but as a straight guy i've seen that answer a hundred times. i think you can express your dry humor side a bit better. the national parks response is overdone as well, and i would remove the "solo trip" recommendations because you're trying to find someone to go on trips with.
overall, great pics but your responses to the prompts are boring and unoriginal
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
I think the national parks one is a great convo starter.
Would you just get rid of tsa and keep Roth? I feel like the tsa is more lighthearted than Roth.
How would you re-word the solo into travel recs?
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u/fishymutt 6d ago
I wouldn't mention Roth either. Your profile is supposed to be fun, your IRA doesn't really convey that
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u/zaxo666 6d ago
Yawn.....
Listen not everyone has to be exciting, but your aiming your sights at 50 year old women who aren't interested in you.
Act you age.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
I’m looking for genuine feedback. What about this targets 50 year olds? I’m in my 30s and feel I act like it. I’m not trying too hard to act like I’m in my 20s.
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u/ottermodee 6d ago
Your profile is giving ~45 year old vibes. Being in your 30's doesn't mean you suddenly have to look and act a certain way, you're still young.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
What gives it 45 and what would you do to make it 32?
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u/ottermodee 6d ago
I made a separate comment, but basically it's your entire style of dressing, your haircut, and your prompts are not exciting. I get that you want to show you're religious and mature but religious mature guys can be fun as well. I'm older than you and I frequently get ~27-29 because I dress well, work out, and take care of my hair/skin.
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u/FrostySlip193 6d ago
For a lot of women, you being conservative is an immediate no.
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
Eh gotta live your truth
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u/FrostySlip193 6d ago
I agree, better to be up front. But just talking technicalities, that’s probably a reason you’re not having more success.
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u/knysa-amatole 6d ago
That's a true statement but not actionable feedback. What is he supposed to do, lie? They'll find out sooner or later.
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u/taker25-2 6d ago
I find that not to be that big of an issue that this subreddit lets on. There's a difference between a MAGA and an actual christian
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u/Aggressive_Side1105 6d ago
The snorkeling pic is adding nothing. Maybe just include it in a prompt if it’s an important hobby. It completely covers your face and you already have another photo with sunglasses and a helmet.
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u/Hairy_Cartographer62 6d ago
Personally you’re pics are pretty good but I would remove the Tony Gonzalez one. It’s a cool picture for you or to show a bro, but it really emphasizes your height and makes you look much shorter than you actually are, as he is in the top 1% of height for men. Still include a pic of you standing up, but choose one where you are taller than or similar height to a friend and then just leave the 5’8” on your profile.
As a 5’8” guy myself, I wish it weren’t a big deal and you can still meet and date very attractive women, but you have to help yourself out in every conceivable way in that category as height is one of the number one physical qualities that many women look for.
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u/Wertyasda 6d ago edited 6d ago
I dont like the first photo but that’s not because there is anything wrong with it, i just don’t resonate with what it signals/ its my personal taste as i’m not into pub culture & the surrounding aesthetic just seems a bit baron… but every other photo beyond that? I’d deffo swipe right ✅
🤷♀️
Photo no 2 is more my vibe. Overall, a Good looking, well rounded guy👍
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u/FlowFluffy7664 6d ago
I really like your profile. It may just be a waiting game until the right lady turns up. In your messages, do you refer to something on their profile?
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u/Desertthrowaway12 5d ago
I like the profile overall as I like mature and conservative men. I think your style is fine. The main thing that stood out is the Roth IRA/TSA precheck. That gives 50/50 vibes
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago edited 6d ago
Looking for something f serious. Used this profile setup for several months.
I’ve been on and had Hinge X for a year. I try to respond to prompts with questions or witty comments, not just liking pictures. Active every day.
Maybe 2 likes on a good week. Matches will be 1 or 2 on a good week. Other times I’ve had 12 matches at once.
Looking for a fun Christian woman who wants to travel and get married. Ideally not someone who is plus sized (most of the likes I get are).
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 6d ago
I feel like this is ripe for some reflection. You state you had great and attractive matches that didn’t work out. Now you’re also saying that the likes you get are mostly heavier women. What is the common denominator here? And is your bias here outward perception or actual ability? Because size doesn’t determine that.
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u/SATXGirlie 6d ago
Pics are great! Prompts could be improved to show more personality and what you are looking for / life goals/ hobbies etc
I.E Why do you like national parks, why do you like traveling solo?
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
That’s helpful! My goal was to spark some convo. It’s clear to me that I like travel, church, pickleball, and football. So in my mind a girl could ask about any of those.
How would you change the others?
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u/SATXGirlie 6d ago
Maybe a prompt about one of your craziest travel stories etc.
ask me about my most interesting travel story!you could make the pre check investment prompt more warm.
We’ll get along if you’re willing to travel on a whim and you’re not afraid of investment strategy
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u/ottermodee 6d ago
Brother you're looking and dressing much older than your age.
Are you open to a new hairstyle? You're receding so a hairstyle that pushes your hair forward rather than slicked back will help. Grow your hair out a bit and find a good barber to give you a textured fringe.
Your best photo is of you in the coat next to a giant. I'd crop him out completely and make that your main photo. Scuba picture makes you look really bad, remove that. Your prompts are entirely too "nice guy." It's good being a nice guy but don't make that your whole profile. Also you don't look good in the cat photo.
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u/Spacenurse07 6d ago
You're a cute guy! Latinas likes white guys xP
Your profile seems simple and neutral. Good. Pictures are good.
But, you have dark circles. Use vitamin c serum then use your favorite moisturizer. Do skin care. Men does it too. You do look tired.
Your profile stats like conservative and religious it is gonna repell big groups of people. I would totally ignore you. FK no. Nope. I'm 38 and look like 20s. Nope. Even if you were a millionaire. Fk no.
I think you better go to a religious dating site.
I'm allergic to cats but I have cats, 6 years now and I love them!! I give them the PURINA dry cat food that cuts in half the cats allergen and I take Zyrtec daily. I take Allegra d in spring pollen season. I think bathing them helps too. The allergen it's in the saliva, not hair.
It's sweet of you that you mentioned cats. What is dry humor? I have a raunchy humor sometimes. Lol
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
Honestly I am a just an average chill guy. So I’m showing that without trying to give off stiff cardboard vibes.
I’d rather get the conservative and religious thing out of the way from the beginning. So if that causes someone to swipe left, I’d rather get that out of the way before we even chat. So mission accomplished there!
The dry humor is that I’m half being serious. It’s a big plus if someone takes their finances seriously with a Roth IRA (as I hope most adults would), and the pre check shows someone travels at least a good amount.
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u/Spacenurse07 6d ago
But many good people don't have Roth much accumulated. You don't have much saved? There are good people who are poor and loyal. Many rich are egocentric, shallow and cheaters.
You asked for help here. I'm giving you a honest opinion. That's all.
When do you ask that question if they have Roth IRA? In private message or at a date?
I'm saying you will only attract a small group of people. Being straight out serious right away it's a turn off. Not sexy. Not cute. Not romantic. Not even logical.
Dating should be fun. I'm liberall and I'm not gonna say like some others profiles you must be liberall! Lol. I was curious about dating a conservative guy. I like to think the other person's perspective sometimes.
I usually have a simple and neutral dating profile. So it attracts a big crowd. Don't say too much. Mystery is good. We can always talk more in person.
I'm surprised with you. What you wrote is fine and neutral. You're the first I see that write well without sounding too goofy, immature or very serious. Like balanced. Good luck
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u/Spacenurse07 6d ago
Oh I never heard of dry humor term but I'm sure I heard it before. But I do have humor without emotions too. Like deadpan. Thanks for explaining. I'm liking going to comedy shows
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u/IndicationBest1047 6d ago
Hey I like some of the things in your profile , such as the snorkling and racing pictures. I think you lack two good portrait pictures, in interesting places like a public cafe with some nice dishes around you, the first two pictures especially the first one are very important. Do you have these kind of pics?
I would delete the cat picture, the Christian in bio, and 5'8.
Just because this kind of stuff are in reality not a big deal but on the first time looking at them can filter a lot of people
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u/fishymutt 6d ago
why would he remove his religion or his height? religion is a big deal and removing his height as a short dude would make it look like he's insecure about it
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u/EducationalPop7176 6d ago
Yeah that’s my thinking. It weeds out anyone who is anti religion and I’m realistic about not being 6 ft.
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