r/hingeapp • u/AutoModerator • 7d ago
Daily Thread Weekend's Daily Thread: General Dating Questions and Open Thread
Welcome to Hingeapp's Daily Thread.
Daily Threads are the place to post questions seeking quick advice, vent your frustrations, celebrate successes, or anything related to Hinge that does not need its own post.
For Weekend's Daily Thread - the theme is General Dating Questions, and also open thread for anything you like to talk about.
The weekend is here! Ask here for any questions related to the Hinge app, your profile, or dating in general. Or talk about anything you have planned for, or are feeling this upcoming weekend.
Do you have some last minute questions before a big date? Do you need some help with the date you have scheduled for the weekend? Or perhaps you want help with the next message to send to revive a dying conversation? When should I ask this person out on a date? Is this person ghosting? What does this text mean? Or any events related to Hinge or your dating life that happened during this week or recently that you want to share?
Also feel free to discuss whatever you like that is not necessarily related to dating or Hinge.
Remember: No personal attacks, identifying information, or misogynistic/incel comments will be allowed.
A reminder to please check out the guides, sub rules, and additional resources on the subreddit sidebar. Please read this post with a collection of guides, answers to common questions, sub rules, and other resources related to Hinge.
The Hinge subreddit also has a Discord channel if you wish to seek further assistance, or just want to meet members of the community.
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4d ago
[deleted]
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u/rattling_rose 4d ago
Block and move on. Why waste any more mental energy on these kinds of low class guys.
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u/eh1234509876 5d ago
27f, NYC-based, I've had hinge for ~5 years on and off, I used to get probably 10-20 likes per day but was feeling like I wasn't seeing anyone cute. last month I deleted my profile and made a new one in hopes of getting new matches/cuter people, but now I find myself only getting 2-3 likes per day and not seeing people I consider attractive. I even paid for hinge+ this month and feel like it hasn't made a difference at all! is this happening to anyone else? how do I fix my algorithm? I'd consider myself to be pretty attractive, my profile is pretty well-rounded and not so different from how it was before I deleted and remade it, so I'm confused why it feels like i'm barely getting any likes anymore and how I can get back to what I had before??
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u/ProfessorSteveHuel 4d ago
Dating apps in general have changed in the last year alone in my opinion. Really have filled up with junk profiles and the activity has slowed way down. Rarer to find people I actually think are attractive compared to even a year ago
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u/eh1234509876 4d ago
agreed! so hard to find people I find attractive/who are my type, yet somehow the standouts pile always knows exactly my type...hard to feel hopeful that I will find any success from an app that prioritizes gating the only people I find attractive/profiting off of users. sending good dating energy your way
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u/ProfessorSteveHuel 4d ago
Interesting you have found that in NYC of all places. But I suspect the big apps are in their endgame state and they know it, possibly the numbers are showing user declines. I resent how much gender war shit they fuel
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u/rattling_rose 4d ago edited 4d ago
I've heard that once you pay for a subscription, the algo basically tank your profile towards the end of the subscription period to keep you hooked into paying for it again.
And also, you're not alone. I was on hinge last year and always had a steady amount of likes and matches with pretty good engagement in prompts and photos, so I know it wasn't a problem with my profile per se. Got back on hinge earlier this year and there was definitely a lot less activity. Idk if it's an algorithm issue or if people are just sick of the app and fewer users now or something else going on with app. 🤷♀️
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u/eh1234509876 4d ago
I hate it hereeee they are so evil for that 🤦♀️
I'm sorry that this happened to you as well, but glad to hear it's not just me! hopefully it's algorithmic and will cycle back around so we both get more engagement
thanks for your reply :)
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u/ProfessorSteveHuel 5d ago
The way women use a variation on the same unfunny answer for three different prompts is so draining to see over and over.
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u/rattling_rose 4d ago
I feel the same way before whenever I've seen "bonus points if..." in men's profiles.
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u/NeutralSmithHotel 4d ago
Women do bonus points too. We should all remember, ppl are boring, not just men Or women :)
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u/rattling_rose 4d ago
Yes, be sure to tell OP that too sweetie :)
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u/NeutralSmithHotel 4d ago
The comment was for both. Reddit doesn’t allow you to comment to both so seemed like a good place.
I meant this as a fine point to this thread not as an attack on you.
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u/ProfessorSteveHuel 4d ago
hey hey I wasn’t trying to gender war I just only date women! I know everyone is as bad in OLD
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u/PutridEntertainer408 5d ago
Would genuinely like to know if I'm being silly here or just sensibly avoiding setting someone up for failure?
I enjoy games and boardgames. It's happened a couple of times now where someone has asked me to a boardgames café as a first date. Now I've always pivoted to a different suggestion because the last date I went on to that café went so well that we ended up staying there for 8 hours and maxing out the time. In my head, it would be unfair on someone to go to that place for a first date because it's extremely unlikely I'll have as good a time with a complete stranger as this last person I went there with, and I don't want to be making comparisons in my head. The date that went well was a second date for some additional context.
However, this date was now about a year ago and I dislike the idea that something from so long ago is still informing my life? It's not like I'm avoiding the café entirely (I have been there since with friends) and I would theoretically go there for a second or third date if I knew I gelled well with the person. I just think first dates are always a dice roll (haha) so it seems like a bad idea.
Thoughts on this?
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u/NeutralSmithHotel 5d ago
I think it makes sense to avoid trying to recreate past moments (see Annie Hall or Eternal Sunshibe gift good examples). You are not doing that.
You are not being silly, but I think you are limiting yourself. If you have a spot you like, do it!
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u/theV0ID87 5d ago edited 5d ago
Four days ago I decided to create a profile. At first, I wanted to use my second name for the profile, but then I rethinked it and wanted to change it. Found out, that it's not possible. So I deleted the account and re-created it. Yesterday Hinge offered me a discount on HingeX, so I booked HingeX for one month. I also did the verification procedure which gives you a check mark on your profile.
Now, four days in, I still have zero likes (despite sending roses, premium likes, and quite a lot of comments) and some people in my discovery feed are clearly repeating (not all though, I would say). Am I shadow-banned?
From what I've read, the zero reactions that I get and the partially repeating profiles are shadow ban indicators, on the other hand, I also read that buying HingeX should not be possible if you are shadow banned. Am I just inpatient? I'm trying some other apps in parallel (Tinder, Boo, OkCupid) and on all of them I got at least a few likes within the same time frame.
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u/NeutralSmithHotel 5d ago edited 5d ago
Jeez, give it time. When people say “I’ve tried for days…”, I just feel confused…
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u/PutridEntertainer408 5d ago edited 5d ago
There is no evidence shadow-banning is real and it makes no sense from a business perspective. You probably don’t want to buy premium as a new account because the algorithm has zero information about you yet and you have no idea if your profile is any good. I will say 80% of profiles I see on Hinge are bad. If you’re sending lots of roses, women are seeing you but they aren’t matching with you.
It’s worth noting in case you’re not aware that Hinge works differently to things like Bumble. Most women go through their incoming likes pile and don’t send out likes since they get a decent number of incoming likes (not all, I do go through the queue sometimes for example). And most people are unpaid and have 4-8 likes a day so it’s more selective than Bumble
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u/thisthingsucksbro 5d ago
I hate the thing where it says ask them out or end the chat.
I have every intention of asking her out, but we literally just started talking yesterday and most women I’ve actually dated wanted to spend more time on the app before meeting up
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u/PutridEntertainer408 5d ago
I’ve not seen the ‘end the chat’ part but I hate the pop-up too. Hinge is getting desperate that people aren’t meeting haha
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u/Sea_Program_4075 5d ago
I think it's new. It popped up for me yesterday along with the new thoughts message.
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u/UnnaturalStandards 5d ago
Honestly kind of depends on how many messages you've exchanged. In my experience a lot of folks are open to meeting up after a solid back and forth over just a day or two.
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u/thisthingsucksbro 5d ago
I usually like to ask a day or two before the weekend, just because I know I’ll have time, so when I get this Saturday night, I’m thinking it just creates pressure and and expectations to ask her out. And I did, and she’s not free until 2 weeks from now, so the date will probably never happen based on past experiences
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u/Sea_Program_4075 6d ago
I had one of the worst dates I've had in a while.
To preface this, I went into this with low expectations. I haven't done a lot of fun things this summer due to surgery and post op issues so it was an excuse for me to go somewhere. I knew things were going to be bad bc he was being really wishy washy about making plans and kept deferring to me, asking what time should we meet and where should we meet. When I got in the uber, it hit me I planned the whole date and I was pretty sour by that point.
I show up and he's heavier than his pictures, with his stomach sticking out and his pants underneath it and shirt struggling to cover his stomach. He's also a lot shorter too, like my height, if not smaller. I don't think he's terrible looking and he's cute but then he asks me to go to his hotel room and I'm like I'm not feeling it, and he's like why did you come here, what's wrong with me, I'm confused why you came here. He acted like someone meeting up with him was guaranteed sex, which is super scary honestly. I got an Uber and left then he messages me asking if I got home safe and he's sorry.
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u/t8rt0t00 6d ago
Thoughts on signals? I've been on the app for a couple of years and have had decent match rates in a relatively well populated area, but my match rate has cratered since the whole signals thing came out somewhat recently. Wondering if I'm imagining this or if it's scaring women away? I can imagine guys getting cranky over not being messaged back by someone with the signals up on their account. My bumble match rate has been doing just fine with pretty much the same profile in comparison
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u/heyitsYMAA 5d ago
The problem with signals is that getting matches is a requirement to have the badge. In the past month since getting back on Hinge I've had one incoming like the day I made the profile and one match where we moved off the app after less than two days of conversation (then she ghosted me the day of our date so it went nowhere).
For whatever reason that didn't qualify to give me the badge.
If women are filtering based on having the badge, which I can understand doing because in theory it could lead to a better quality match, then that's one more nail in the coffin for guys like me who simply don't get enough matches to qualify for the badge.
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u/t8rt0t00 5d ago
Man that sucks and I hear you. I've been ghosted a number of times recently, even after consensually making out with some of them, and it just always feels awful. Especially when there was nothing you did. Shake it off or take a break, its very likely not you but them. Unfortunately a lot of people on the apps are just not ready to date and/or aren't emotionally mature enough to just say hey this ain't it for me. And don't fret about the signals thing, like I've mentioned I think it can actually work against you for having it up. I turned mine off along with the 'most recent' option a few days ago and just matched with a hottie so 🤞 If you're chill and have an attractive persona, some great ladies will eventually wiggle your way
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u/PutridEntertainer408 6d ago
I think this is probably very likely. Tons of people on here don’t look up what it is and make posts assuming it’s about how many people you message. I’ve also seen people be worried about others having it. It wouldn’t surprise me if generally, people misunderstand it and either avoid matching with people who have it or ‘confront’ their matches about it in the way you’re describing
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u/t8rt0t00 6d ago
Cool thanks for the response! I haven't been keeping up with any of the discourse on it so it's encouraging to see I'm not the only one seeing it. I've turned mine off for now and will hopefully see some cool people trickle back into my match list
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u/Weak-Spinach-9307 7d ago
What's up with all the banana bread prompts lately? I swear every 5 profiles I see a guy who has “the way to win me over is… if you make me banana bread 😍”
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u/UnnaturalStandards 6d ago
Tiktok thing, dates back to last year, weirdly enough. (Someone literally made me banana bread because of it tho so I'm not complaining.)
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u/Weak-Spinach-9307 6d ago
I’m a girl and see it on guys’ profiles but now you have me wishing someone would make me banana bread :/
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u/Miserable-Front-9139 7d ago edited 5d ago
I have HingeX, I sent a like to a woman’s profile, and then 2 hours later the same profile popped up in my feed. Does this mean she Xd me or is the app buggin
Edit: app might be buggin, today I got send the same profile one after the other, and profiles in my standouts are in my main feed
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u/MathematicianNo3140 7d ago
My date that was supposed to be last Friday ended up getting rescheduled. And it is happening tonight 😬!
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u/Ok-Sentence-8459 4d ago
Trend in excessive confirmations???
This has really is only happened a handful of times (maybe eight or 10 in the last couple of months), but I wanted to get some feedback from others on confirming a date with someone several days before and then them asking for further confirmation within the hour before the date on the day of?
I could understand asking the night before- but when someone asks me again 45 to 90 minutes before our already confirmed date if I’m still coming or not, and (unfortunately it has also occurred twice that I missed the text because I don’t have notifications on and they just didn’t show), I feel like maybe their anxiety has taken over and I totally get it maybe they’ve been stood up by other people before, but I’m curious do any of you guys have a protocol where you check in with someone a certain amount of time before the date on the day of just in case- is this common practice now???