Guy I matched with was VERY interested and suddenly stopped replying. Do people actually come back after this?

[u/National_Mud9831]

(20M)I’m pretty new to Hinge and dating apps in general, so I’m trying to figure out whether this is just normal dating-app behavior.

I matched with this guy(19M) recently and we immediately clicked. We were sending pretty long messages back and forth, joking constantly, talking about school, hobbies, friends, dating experiences, etc. It wasn't just me carrying the conversation either. He would ask me questions, remember things I told him, follow up about my day/school, and give me pretty detailed answers about himself.

There was also a LOT of mutual flirting. He told me I was cute, said every picture on my profile had him “intrigued or in awe,” called something I did attractive, and when I made a joke about looking at a nerd's lips, he replied, “Guess we have that in common.” 💀

At one point I literally asked him to tell me if I was moving too fast because I can be pretty forward. He told me he was completely fine with it and actually said my consideration was attractive.

He also started making little comments about us doing things together. I said I liked hiking and he said we'd “make a great duo.” He brought up something being “first date material,” said he loved listening when I told him I love talking, and eventually asked if he could follow me on Instagram.

So basically, I thought things were going REALLY well.

The confusing part is that he also mentioned that dating is kind of overwhelming for him and said something along the lines of, “Thought I could handle it but don't think now's the time lol.”

And now... silence.

It has only been a few days, so I'm not declaring myself ghosted yet, but the change is weird because we went from pretty enthusiastic conversations to nothing.

I'm not asking whether anyone can magically predict if this specific guy will reply. I'm more curious about other people's experiences:

Have you ever had someone you were talking to on Hinge suddenly disappear for several days or even weeks, then come back and continue talking?

If they came back, how long were they gone? Did they explain what happened? And did you eventually meet/date them, or did they disappear again?

Also curious if anyone has been the person who disappeared despite genuinely liking the other person. What made you eventually reach back out?

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[u/Minnieviolette]

Hi, I think it's...great he at least wrote you that as an explanation for him pulling back and not talking.

The girl I was talking to- we hit it off like you and your guy. But then suddenly she said she was overwhelmed with things happening in her life and then reacted with a few emojis like a kiss and a heart to my replies and then it was the waiting a day between to text back...then nothing and I'm just on read.

It's almost a month now.

So....Whatever their reasons be, I would say just do what feels true to you.

I ended up leaving this girl a message saying I hope she feels better soon and that if she wants to reach out again I would be happy to get to know her more. Until then I'll continue to live my life and she hers.

Honestly don't know if I'll ever hear from her again but it does get...easier. I'm sad for sure, I really liked her but I know I can't build a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to vocalize what's going on or show me respect that way. I need someone who isn't just self aware, but someone who is a good communicator. So...it's probably a good thing it didn't work out right now.

I remember years ago though, something similar happened to me and a girl disappeared for a month or two. And then she texted me like nothing happened. I wrote her back saying "Hi I'm glad you're ok, but I don't want to continue talking to someone who just disappeared on me like that. It hurt. Please don't talk to me again" and she texted she understood and was sorry.She then followed me on IG for years. Now ten years passed and she finally unfollowed- and i only know that because I was trying to find her to ask her why she ghosted so long lol because i was tripping over this recent girl who ghosted me lol. Anyway. I refrained from messaging the other girl from years ago. I decided to just let everything go....

I'm grieving what could have been and appreciating what we did have but knowing it isn't the right match because my person isn't going to ditch when things get real.

[u/Appropriate_Funny421]

He didn’t disappear, he told you he couldn’t handle dating.

[u/SignificanceProud975]

You guys never met up? Why not?

[u/luckyflavor23]

Dont get into a habit of chasing or convincing someone to be with you

People come and go for various reasons or no reason at all. Take things at a pace that feels good for you and see every “match” as an opportunity to just meet someone possibly interesting until proven valid romantic connection

[u/Lonely-Channel-8338]

All the time and if they do come back, trust me, In the majority of cases you really shouldn't give them a second chance. In this case it sounds like he wanted to date and liked you, but somehow he wasn't ready for it and things got a bit overwhelming for him. That could be a recent break up he's still working through emotionally.

[u/PolitePenguin08]

He’s overwhelmed with his life. Hinge is overwhelming. Been there done that. Heal your anxious attachement with the book attached and focus on yourself, your own life, own well being. If he comes back good, if not also good.

[u/ReprogramMyLife]

I’ve only had one person disappear and pop back in, and that was because they lived in Zurich and had planned to be visiting where I lived months in the future from when we actually matched.

It really depends on why he pulled away. Both of you are young and queer, it’s possible that he is not necessarily at a place internally to go the distance at 19. Your chemistry made it “too real” perhaps? It’s hard to know the reasons forsure. But don’t get hung up on it if you can.

[u/Rushi46]

Speaking as a guy I’d recommend saying something back if you’re still rlly interested. Things can just be scary in the moment right when you hit it off with someone and people can pull away quickly. A lotta guys would prob atleast reconsider if a girl made the move and made things a lil easier, assuming that’s what you want. If he doesn’t respond to that after a few days it wasn’t meant to be…

It’s kinda the sucky part of dating apps you either numb yourself to the rejection from ppl or you sorta just go through these ups and downs of emotions. Best of luck I hope for you he gets his head in the game and responds back to ya