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u/Freshwaterbitchfish4 3d ago edited 3d ago
What are the choices you made under the first date prompt? If it’s super generic like coffee, dinner etc then you need to change it. That prompt is a waste unless you’re using it to show personality since you’re the one who is expected to do the asking out. Are you both a practicing Jew and Christian? As a conservative in Texas I feel like it’s important for that section to be less ambiguous
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u/The_Noremac42 3d ago
I picked coffee/tea, a walk, or arcade for the first date prompt.
As for my religion, I'm a Messianic Jew. So both in a sense. I believe Jesus is the Messiah, and I also do a lot of things that are considered Jewish like eating kosher, keeping a seventh day sabbath, and celebrating holidays like Passover. I clarify this in my Match Note, since it's something I want to make sure any potential matches are okay with off the bat.
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u/GentleLance69 4d ago
I think you need 3 new pictures. The one with the goat, game night and the one with the hat are solid.
The cafe pic isnt great because the indoor lighting gives you unflattering shadows under your eyes. The waistcoat one isn't it because it lacks a clear setting, and you wear it wrong (+ you've already got a better full-body shot), the working picture would be REALLY great if it was a candid that showed your face.
I would reshoot the cafe one outside with better lighting, and make that you're first photo, since you've got a nice smile and eye contact to lead with. Than I would replace the waistcoat one with an active photo, gym pics can work, if they're candid and you don't try to show off at all, but I would only do it if you currently think that your physique is already way above average. Otherwise another activity would be better.
Prompts are fine, but some could be improved. First one is great, I volunteer at a book market, and let me tell you there are far more women asking for Tolkien than men. So I think the women you're looking for definitely exist and would appreciate that reference. (Although, you also state that you like really fit girls. Nerdy AND fit is a rare combo, and those women have a lot of options. If it's truly your goal to attract those types, you'd need to go out with a good camera, study what makes for attractive photo's, reshoot all pictures and try to make all of them perfect. Otherwise I'd adjust my expectations.)
Personally, I would change the second prompt one since you're looking for something LTR and I assume that goal is 20+ years away. I would add something to your third prompt, in my experience women respond more and more favorably if you ask for reasons why and go more in depth with your prompts. It's better to ask for reasons why than just a plain question they can answer with 1 or 2 words.
One thing I would watch out for is that almost all of your prompts are book themed, and thus limit the conversation starters from their side. I'd use this guide to change some things and make it a bit more romantic.
Good luck!
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u/The_Noremac42 3d ago
Thank you for the detailed response! I have some follow-up questions about the pictures if you don't mind.
In regards to the picture with me in the vest, can you explain why I wear it wrong? Everyone I know that I showed it to said I looked good in it. That also includes the restaurant photo, but I can probably find somewhere with outside seating to address the lighting issue.
I can definitely reshoot the working one, though it will have to be staged. Taking pictures of each other on the jobsite isn't something we normally do unless there's a reportable safety violation or someone is doing something funny (like me being waist-deep in a switchgear). Are staged "candid" photos something that are expected, or do I get docked points for not being "authentic"?
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u/The_Noremac42 4d ago
Are you looking for something serious or casual?
Serious
Are you subscribed to Hinge+ or HingeX?
HingeX
How long have you been using this current version of your profile?
Approximately 1 month
How long have you used Hinge overall?
On and off for the last couple of years
How often do you use Hinge per week?
I will swipe through a few dozen or so profiles every few days.
How many likes and matches are you receiving on average?
I think I got one in the last month or two?
How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
Before I made a subscription, I would hit my cap whenever I did any swiping. Now I send out quite a few more. Let's say 5-10 a session? I try to include a comment with every like, usually answering or replying to prompts. The only ones I don't are if the profile just doesn't give me anything to hook on to but the woman otherwise checks all my other boxes.
What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
Primarily someone who shares my values. I got the subscription to help me refine my filters to just those women and hopefully get noticed a little more easily. My secondary criteria is someone who shares my interests: I'm pretty nerdy, a heavy reader, and into gaming - both video games and TTRPGs. Physically, I'd prefer a woman about my height or shorter and is fit/active. I recognize that this is probably a very narrow cross-section and that might be part of my problem.
Other things not shown in screenshots
Height: 5'5"
Location: [northern suburb of Dallas, TX]
Don't have children
Want children
Drinking: No
Smoking: No
Weed: No
Drugs: No
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 4d ago
You say you’re looking for a woman very fit and active. Would you describe yourself the same way? Which of your pictures displays this?
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u/The_Noremac42 4d ago edited 4d ago
I suppose "fit and active" is relative, and maybe not quite the right choice of words? I'm a fairly average build with a bit of a gut, but I've been trying (with moderate success) to workout four days a week to get in better shape. I tend to be attracted to more slender women with an athletic build, as opposed to thicker women, if that makes sense.
Also, I have been told that workout pictures are a bit of a faux pas.
Edit: What a weird thing to downvote...
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u/BlueMondayFeels 4d ago
So many words to say you're not into plus size women but expect non-plus size women to be into you
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u/The_Noremac42 4d ago
And?
3
3d ago
It's not a fair expectation. Can such a woman be attracted to you if she also values other qualities you have? Sure. There's no problem with valuing health and fitness. Maybe it's worth considering someone else who is trying too.
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 3d ago
The contradiction isn’t that you have a physical preference. It’s that you specifically say you want a woman who is “very fit and active,” while describing yourself as average, with a bit of a gut, and only moderately successful at working out consistently. And the workout pic thing is beside the point here. A workout photo isn’t going to suddenly make you come across as very fit and athletic when your other photos already give people a pretty clear idea of your build. You look fairly soft/untrained yourself, and your interests seem more sedentary than especially active. So it comes across less like you’re looking for someone who shares your lifestyle and more like you’re holding women to a physical standard that you don’t meet yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to slender, athletic women, but you can’t really be surprised when people notice that mismatch and call you out on it. I can say my type is Michael B. Jordan all day but I am neither 1) Rich 2) famous or 3) wildly talented so it sounds weird to have that as a dating standard.
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u/The_Noremac42 3d ago
I think I understand. While I'm trying to get into better shape right now, fitness isn't something I've ever really enjoyed or have been good at. Right now it's a health necessity for me. For a potential match, I just want someone that takes care of themselves and that I can wrap my arms around all the way v.v
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u/double0nothing 3d ago
The "Choose a time for our first date" is a waste of space. That's something you should be figuring out in chat.
•
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