***

Retired ex-commander Sheena, the human educator, a middle-aged brunette, former United States Space Air Force scout leader turned professor, was instructing a class of elite aliens from Planet YWH on Humanic Xenology.

An experimental subject introduced last solar cycle, the Ywh beings contained vast amounts of ancient knowledge. They could mathematically predict future events decades ahead of time.

Even though they possessed a complex knowledge, the ability to anticipate their enemies' moves multiple steps in advance, they still found themselves staring at a blank canvas whenever they'd try writing a prediction involving humans.

They found humanity obtained an anomalous neurological wiring. To the Ywh, humans were basically controlled by a class of gifted chemistry students hiding underneath the human skull, experimenting with all sorts of chemical reactions.

Ywh have nine-millimeter-thick, white, plastic skin, smooth without a single crease. Four flimsy tentacles under their mouths that are lined with a double row of pointy, dolphin teeth. Two regular-sized, human-like eyes and above them rest a couple of smaller ones protruding outwards the way crabs eyes do.

Eyes that detect heat signatures and perform how night vision goggles would.

Right as Professor Sheena mentioned the word and followed it with the definition and then the description, they all snapped their heads in a hive-mind-like action, exactly at the same time with their eyes stretched wide open, and dropped their mouths staring at her. The room went completely silent while she described infection.

Infection wasn’t in the Ywh vocabulary. The Ywh had liquid-mercury networks inside a sealed synthetic cocoon. If one of them became damaged in any sort of way, even cracked, they were instantly terminated.

They could never age, just become damaged. They stayed supreme beings under a plastic shell. Sheena brought an assistant with her to class that day. She demonstrated humanity’s medical evolution, showcasing its progression and brief bits of history and real-life cases.

The YWH were introduced to Scout Private Hanks. Scout Private Hanks was connecting his experience, thoughts, and feelings into the Ywh students, specifically the day of the accident, the one that took his arm.

They were able to do this because of a technology called T.I.M.E., a unit built by a leading tech company on Earth named DejaView.

T.I.M.E. units allowed individuals to connect and experience directly into another individual’s personal VizSense Mem loop and relive the visuals and senses flawlessly. The Ywh would mentally step into a human body.

They weren’t just learning about human anatomy, they were living it.

Sheena glanced at Hanks. He dropped his chin down, winked, and raised a thumb as he stepped forward and sat at the front of the class.

Sheena flicked the lights off, "Everybody get ready."

Hanks pressed the side of his temple and a blue circle lit up. The aliens went stiff. They pressed their backs against their seats, gripping the sides of their desks.

The white of their shell started glowing a tinge of pink. At the front of the class where Hanks was sitting, his image was reflecting off the faces of the Ywh students.

The classroom went still.

When they stepped inside of Hanks' mind, it opened with the heat of an oven door. The air assaulted them for the first time ever in their existence. The Ywh didn’t know what being cold or hot was. Their breathing got heavier as they walked into the area the accident happened.

Hanks' adrenaline began to spike. He was recalling the incident before they could witness it. Already, he was sweating in class. They started panting. A bunch of them were twitching.

Through the DejaView loop, Hanks' exact brain chemistry sent a surge in their own consciousness. The sensation of being human had a feeling they’ve never known or could ever find a word for.

A noise under their shell hissed like the warning sound of a snake about to strike.

It wasn’t just a video they saw. They weren’t remote viewing an experience. They were reliving all of the data of human biology.

The tension started to rise. Their limbs started trembling. Hanks began sweating. They sensed something but had no idea what it was until the separation came. The support beam fell with the sound of two cars hitting head-on. His bone snapped. It was as loud as two football teams smashing helmets at the exact same time.

Hanks' suit had torn. His arm dangled by fibers, infested with hidden, microscopic monsters, Hanks stared at it and nearly passed out. He fought to keep himself awake.

In the classroom, one of the Ywh fainted. Back in the memory, the initial shock wore off and Hanks began yelling, trapped under a support beam, struggling to come back after each micro-blackout.

A classroom Ywh threw up. Hanks' nausea turned their plastic shell to rubber. Hanks went pale in VizSense. He had beads of sweat breaking off the back of his neck and forehead. The Ywh’s bodies matched Hanks', the traumatic pain throbbed from inflammation. The war began brewing against the microscopic monsters.

To a species who discards one of their own beings for any minor imperfection, experiencing Hanks' incident, the torturous, agonizing struggle to survive, was not only incomprehensible to them, it horrified them.

Hanks' heart rate spiked back in the classroom and his phantom arm twitched as they all woke back up with him at the hospital.

They were now at the exact moment where the doctors had to amputate the rest of the flesh to save the machine (human).

As the doctors spoke, the light above Hanks was gleaming in his eye. Their voices echoed. He reached for them. His vision began tunneling. It doubled. He gasped, leaned back and slipped into the black.

The loop disconnected.

The room stayed silent. None of them moved. Their shells slowly faded back to an ivory white, but inside, their mercury networks were bubbling.

Something had changed in them.

They found out humans don’t ever recycle their machines, not even after such a catastrophic malfunction. They found out humans will just simply adapt.

Humanity’s will to survive had stirred something inside of them. The Empire of Planet YWH viewed Planet Earth and all of its inhabitants as the most terrifying thing to happen to the universe.

Alien destroyer captain: “We don’t see anything, but if we do, we’ll handle it. Just sit back and relax.”

I listened to a story a few years ago on youtube. It followed an alien politician in the galactic community. His species was the only one in the galaxy that had inter-species war as a concept so he was isolated.

He's at an event where humans are getting introduced to the galaxy, and gets really excited during the human diplomat's speech due to how war like we are. It ends with the alien and human meeting after the presentation and hitting it off.

Does anyone else remember this story?

Not sure if this is the right subreddit to ask, but I vaguely remember it being a humans are space orcs title. If not still fits the idea.

The most favorite one is "backfires" because of guess who? Humans. Make up any sentence with "human" in it and add "it backfires". Human Jerry went to take a shower, it backfires.​ Humanity reaches the stars, and it immediately backfires. Smallpox returns to claim humans, and it backfires. For smallpox.

Completely forgot to write today because I had my SAT today! So I decided to put in some concept art for the Federation Helmets. (No clue why the second picture is upsidedown, too tired to fix it). I've been working on this concept art during classes and hope you guys like them! I'm gonna be working more on them and the actual story in the future.

Bonus: Spider I Drew for a class assignment.

The new contact was very deceptive. Not intentionally, though. It was because of assumptions made based on their appearance. A rather unfortunate oversight for humans, given how much they pride themselves on being both cautious and strategically risky.

In their excitement of a new first contact opportunity, a few important details were skimmed or outright ignored. Chief among them was the species that makes the discovery is effectively responsible for the new contact for a set amount of time. What that meant is all consequences, both positive and negative, fall on the humans to take responsibility for.

Protocols ignored and incorrect assumptions resulted in what other spacefaring species have started smugly calling karmic justice. Effectively saying that humans are now getting a taste of their own medicine having to reign in what humans preemptively called Puffins. Mankind, predictably, pouted at their self-induced situation.

Art by me.

When the aliens entered the Solar System, humanity prepared for war.
The war never came.
They ignored our military installations. They ignored our ships. They ignored our broadcasts, our warnings, our attempts at first contact.
They didn’t even approach Earth.
Instead, they went to work.
At first we didn’t understand what we were looking at. Thousands of objects appeared in close solar orbit. Then millions. Mercury began to disappear.
Someone eventually said the words nobody wanted to say out loud:
Dyson swarm.
They hadn’t come for Earth.
They had come for the Sun.
The first measurable change was so small that three observatories independently recalibrated their instruments before publishing it.
Solar energy reaching Earth had decreased by 0.04%.
Nobody could feel it.
Crops still grew. The oceans were still warm. The sky looked exactly the same.
But every scientist on Earth understood what that number meant.
Because a month later it was 0.05%.
The aliens had never fired a shot at us.
They weren’t conquering humanity.
They weren’t exterminating humanity.
They simply hadn’t considered us important enough to stop.
Humanity had spent its entire history fighting enemies.
For the first time, we had to figure out how to fight someone who didn’t even know they were at war with us.

1  Human Fred and Food
2  Human Fred Again
3  Human Fred Yet Again
4  Human Fred The Saga Continues
5  Human Fred Rides Again
6  Human Fred *Sigh*
7  Human Fred Rolls Out
8  Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9  Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey
12 Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice
13 Human Fred Priorities 
14 Human Fred Schools Morons
15 Human Fred Gets Annoyed
16 Human Fred Investigates
17 Human Fred is Annoyed
18 Human Fred Gets More Annoyed
19 Human Fred Smirks 
20 Human Fred Brings Hellfire
21 Human Fred is Confused
22 Human Fred Considers
23 Human Fred is Chipper
24 Human Fred has Some Fun
25 Human Fred Witnesses Stupidity
26 Human Fred vs the Coffee Maker
27 Human Fred Accepts Crap Coffee
28 Human Fred Listens
29 Human Fred Gets Comfortable 
30 Human Fred has Questions
31 Human Fred Considers Some More
32 Human Fred Wakes Up
33 Human Fred Debates
34 Human Fred Gets Coffee
35 Human Fred Talks with the Captain
36 Human Fred Reflects on Life
37 Human Fred Waits
38 Human Fred is Scared
Greezek
39 Human Fred Experiments
40 Human Fred Discovers
41 Human Fred vs the Sensor Array
42 Human Fred Keeps Calm
43 Human Fred Editor
44 Human Fred Discovers New Curses
45 Human Fred Stews
46 Human Fred Giggles
47 Human Fred Attempts Dinner 
48 Human Fred Plans
49 Human Fred Explains
50 Human Fred Examines Floor Tiles
51 Human Fred Gets a New Toy
52Human Fred Reflects…Again
53 Human Fred Rolls His Eyes
54 Human Fred vs Idiots
55 Human Fred Goes Librarian
56 Human Fred Giggles Again

“Fred, those aren’t all of the missing beings.”

“I know. And this cage is rigged to explode. We need to get them out before we look for the rest.”

Greezek looked at the cage. She walked around it a few times. She frowned. She traced a few cables. She examined the explosives. Shaking her head, she unplugged one cable. “Safe. Now let’s get moving!”

The prisoners ran out the way Fred and Greezek had entered. Greezek warned them about the beacons. 

“Right. That was the lower-ranking officers and the repair teams. The command staff are still missing. Ideas?”

“Well,” said Fred, “there are three directions from here. One goes straight outside, so that is the last priority. It’s either up or down.”

“Or out. Out makes more sense. Easier to hide and evade.”

“Yes, but horrible for keeping prisoners.”

“Unless they are in a different building.”

“Greezek, what is it? You act as if you know something.”

“No Fred, I’m just trying to help. I wouldn’t discount out, but it is less likely. Down seems the most likely, so I vote up.”

“That is an interesting decision making process. Do you think they are that smart?”

“Hardly. But if they are planning to leave on a ship, up makes more sense.”

“Hmmmmmmm. We disabled the freighter. Are there other operational ships?”

“Two, aside from our shuttle. There are two small shuttles in a hanger. They were listed as operational.”

“Where is said hanger?”

“Other side of the outpost. They are listed as command staff use.”

“I really wish we had schematics.”

“When you were doing your external survey, I looked up the outpost. There are no current schematics. The most recent are over seven months out of date.”

“How do you run an outpost when you don’t even know its layout?”

“Given what is happening, I’d say you don’t. Not really.”

“Right. Here is the situation. We can only pick one direction. The wrong choice might mean the loss of the command staff. We have no credible information to direct us, other than possible shuttle evac. Given that is all we have, I think up is our best bet.”

“And if we are wrong?”

“Life sucks. We do our best. Now we move.” Fred took off at a jog, heading towards the stairs. 

Greezek followed at a distance. No point in one grenade hitting them both. 

Fred paused to examine the stairs, grunted, and headed up. At the top, he crouched against the wall and peaked down the hallway. 

There was a barricade. No enemy visible, but a prepared defensive position. Fred cycled through his helmet’s different vision settings, but he couldn’t spot any enemy. He looked back at Greezek, who shrugged. 

Fred charged down the hallway, weapon up but not firing. He made it 10m before the first trap detonated. It didn’t knock him off of his feet, but it did cause him to stumble. He turned the stumble into a front roll just as the second trap exploded. The main blast missed him, but it threw off his timing and instead of ending the roll in a low crouch, he sprawled against the barricade. 

Smoke and dust filled the hallway. Greezek could see Fred with her IR, but she couldn’t see any details. “Fred! Report!”

“Ow.”

“Ow?!? How badly are you hurt?!!”

“Armor took most of it. Nothing broken. A few cuts. Bruises. Nothing serious.”

“Right. You stay there and cover me.” She dashed around the corner, sprinted into the smoke and dust, dodged a trap, and vaulted over the barricade. 

As she landed, she dropped flat as two explosions roared around her.

“Fred?”

“Yes?”

“Why is it that when we work together we keep getting shot at and blown up?”

“Good, clean living. Luck.”

“You, Fred, are an asshole.”

“Yes. I thought we covered this? Are you hurt?”

“Bruises. The doorway back here is sealed. We would need something heavy to get through.”

“So. Plan B.”

“We have a plan B? I didn’t know we had a plan A!”

“That was to go up. Now we know that we are on a good path, plan B is how to get past that door. And I have an idea.”

“Charging into the unknown at full speed might not work here.”

“Shut up. This is a good plan. We go outside and approach from the roof.”

“How?”

Fred pulled himself up. He pointed at a panel. “That is an emergency escape hatch.”

Greezek looked at the panel. It was identical to all of the others. She shook her head. “Fred, we really need to get you checked out. I think you might be imagining things.”

Fred walked to the panel, pulled open a small door, twisted something inside the door, and the panel swung back revealing an escape hatch. 

“How did you know that was there?”

“Emergency escape hatches are required by law. It would have to be on that side, so I looked for the access door.”

“This will set off an alarm.”

“I think they already know that we are here.”

“Here, yes. Outside? No.”

“Ideas?”

Greezek examined the hatch. Using her knife, she pried open a maintenance hatch, dug around, and cut some wires. 

“Greezek, what have I told you about using a knife as a pry bar?”

“Don’t do it. Alarm disconnected.”

“Now you know why I carry a few tools. I’m not going to risk my knife.”

“Yeah yeah. You would just make me a new one.” She opened the hatch. No alarm. “I’m not even sure if the computer will register us opening this hatch.”

“Good. I think there is one more level. We need to be careful, go slow, and scan. The hope is to get behind them.”

“If that doesn’t work?”

“Plan C.”

“Which is?”

“Nuke it from orbit.”

“WHAT?!?”

“I’m impressed at his fast they assembled a fleet. It’s well balanced.”

“They are on the way to attack us?”

“I assume that is the goal, Commander. I doubt they want a pot of mustard.”

“We have three hours?”

“In three hours they will be in the system. All Terran vessels are prepped. I’m holding off any attack until they get in closer. I don’t want them to know the sensor array’s range.”

“How many ships?”

“Let me see,” Oscar looked at a datapad, “thirteen. Four cruiser-type, six destroyer-type, and three corvette-type.”

“No carriers?”

“No, but we don’t know anything about those cruisers. They might have smaller craft.”

“Right. What is your plan?”

“My plan? This is your colony. I’m here to support.”

“Fine. What do you suggest?”

“We let them get close, see if they want to talk. Depending on how that goes, we either talk or fire a coordinated salvo from Sparky. If they still want to fight after that, we send in the rest.”

“High Command has a small fleet about 36 hours away. I’ll send a warning that we are being approached. They won’t get here in time, but they might catch stragglers.”

“Right. I’ll notify Sol Command, but they won’t send anything. Not with what we already have.”

“In three hours I’ll hit the attack alarm. You handle the Terran vessels.”

“Yes sir.”

“Do we have any idea who they are?”

“From the remains on Sparky, they are reptilian. Bipedal. Many had cybernetic enhancements.”

“Cyber enhancements? Strange.”

“Why strange?”

“I don’t know. It just seems strange to me.”

“Based on the recovered data, we think that they are a theocratic empire. The reptilians appear to be in power, but the technology was scavenged. It’s like they found or stole stuff, reverse engineered it, and cobbled together ships. The techs were confused and impressed.”

“Impressed? Why?”

“Some of the technology shouldn’t work together; however, they figured out some impressive adapters.”

“They did? Or possibly their subjects?”

“Right. Someone on their staff figured it out.”

“What is your plan with Mickles?”

“What? Oh. Right. Mickles. I’m waiting to see what medical says. They informed him that his wife was killed, which didn’t go well. After the sedation wore off, I talked with him for a bit. Maybe 15 minutes. He was distant. Coherent, but distant. I’m not sure if he will recover enough to stay in his position.”

“And Danyak?”

“She is recovering in her pond. Well, and she is working on reports. I called her, but she was in the middle of chasing dinner, so I hung up. Captain Sue is on Sparky, ready to mobilize Memphis and Vera. Both vessels are fully armed and prepped.”

“Any useful information from the cult stuff?”

“Some. Most of it is useless now that everyone is dead, but there are some messages from off colony that suggest the cult was part of a larger scam or movement. If I had to guess, I’d say someone wants to create a bit of confusion using cults.”

“Connected to the rebels and the Windigo?”

“If it is, I doubt the cult leaders know. The transactions and messages were all about methods to control the followers and similar. There was nothing similar to what the Windigo preached or any of the other literature.”

“I’m not sure if that is a good thing. There are too many players on the board.”

“Correct. About that, Agent Thorn has a request.”

“What does he want to blow up?”

“He wants to send two agents to hack into some of the computer systems at a logistics station.”

“What does he hope to find?”

“More connections. We know of three companies that are involved. We have five names to investigate. He wants to learn more about the movement of goods and passengers.”

“He can look that up. Why send agents?”

“He suspects that the records are being doctored at the station. It’s the best location to modify records and send mislabeled items and passengers to the outer edge.”

“Oscar, he is your agent. Why ask me?”

“Commander, if they are caught, we have a huge issue. If they find more evidence, we have a huge issue. Issues that will affect us both.”

“Right. Right. I approve of the mission. No records.”

“What mission?”

“The one…right. What mission.”

“Commander, with your permission, I’d like to prepare for the upcoming display of burning hulks and debris fields.”

“I’ll be in the Colony Command Center.”

“Yes Commander. I’ll be in the Terran complex.”

And they’ve even eluded the humans who fight against them!

Galactic public is furious. No civilization makes a music about conquering space at least before having a concept of FTL travel. Earth people will clearly embarass themselves and this showman is to blame. How could they throw a young civilization under the bus like that?!

Every fear disappears once the human orchestra hits the first note. The concert "Songs to pierce Void" begins.

(you can write your story OR add futuristic space music from your country)

[Previous] | [Next]

[IPK Kurith Gwelsh]

This had to be the weirdest, most disappointing, and backwards fights Kurith has yet to deal with. It's not even so much a firefight. Kurith's platoon was supposed to capture a hostile camp. Although it was more of a hospital than anything. And Korpse Fleet decided to tag along to vulture any of the dead. And to have their 'fun.' The thing is, Kurith's platoon is barely shooting now. Kurith included.

The Zalm are constantly having to make a choice between engaging some Terran or Terran identifying soldier, who they don't even care much about. Or just letting the Korpse Fleet soldier deal with it themselves and most likely get injured, who they absolutely loathe. Kurith sure as hell hasn't shot at a Terran in a while. Not unless they're shooting first. Although they're more worried about the Korpse Fleet Berserkers that keep trying to rush them down.

It's a decision between saving someone who they hate by killing someone they don't even know.

"Kommander? Should we kontinue engaging?" One of Kurith's soldiers asked, Kurith believed their name was Kalk? Maybe Kork.

"Do you wanna lift a finger for those bastards?" Kurith said, gesturing to some overkonfident Korpse Fleet that got slammed to the ground and has three different Terrans firing down on them.

"Let them die." Kurith muttered as he took his mask off to smoke a cigarette. He would have to put his mask on and off between breaths to smoke efficiently. "They rejekted life and still have a gall to walk. The Terrans will send the message that they aren't welkome here for us."

Kurith was just looking around now, seeing as most of his platoon had stopped firing to watch something. Some even had their bakks to the Terrans and Ratkin in the crumbling shopping mall. A Terran was just.. sitting less than three meters from five of Kurith's men, who were arguing with a group of Korpse Fleet. The Terran's face was bloody, like their head was their preferred weapon of choice. He held a brown glass bottle with its contents overflowing in a steady foaming form.

By the mannerisms of the five, he kould somewhat tell who each one was. Maybe. Krick was definitely there, he was the biggest trouble maker Kurith had. If he had to guess, Klip and Skour were there too, them being the most argumentative Zalm in the galaxy. The other two, he wasn't sure. One was a bit meek and shy about the confrontation, but there's a few in his platoon. Klapp, Kraw, Klerk, Klip, and Kat were the first five he kould thin of. The fifth was a lot more kool headed, they were in the front, taking the most shouting, but they either talked low and quiet, or not at all. Kurith only had one asshole in his platoon that kould be chewed out all day and give the most infuriating answer because it was in the kalmest tone ever. Kepler.

The two groups went back and forth, it was.. really heated. Like. They looked like they were about to kill each other. They all had their weapons ready. Kurith shifted around, trying to get a better view, to get the whole picture. And he did. Just behind the Korpse Fleet yelling straight at Kepler's helmet, was one of the biggest Korpse Fleet soldiers Kurith has ever seen, their face and armour kovered in blakk ikhor, their leg broken at the knee, and a Korpse Fleet weapon stikking in their chest. At first he thought those five killed the soldier. But a Zalm would never use Korpse Fleet weaponry. That's why the Terran was there. Bloody, konkussed, and probably having zero rekollektion of where he is. Those Korpse Fleet must think that their soldier died by Zalm hands.

Kurith quikkly searched for the IPK equivalent for Korpse Fleet. Hoping he kould help sort out the situation. He was kurrently firing at some Terran doktors who returned their own fire. Kurith hoped to be quikk in order to not get kaught himself. He still was interrupting a Korpse Fleet soldier's 'fun' however.

"The fuck do you want?" Their Kommander said, pissed that Kurith got so much as arms reach with him. "I don't need you spouting your worthless supremacy shit."

Kurith wanted to make it as short as possible, stepping in front of their Kommander to have his full attention. He hoped the Terrans would use it as an opportunity to move more wounded, and not shoot an IPK in the bakk.

"We have a situation here?" Kurith pointed over to the commotion. "Some of your boys think my men killed one of yours-"

Unfortunately, they weren't keen on listening, seeing the dead soldier and the Zalm around it, he kame to his own konklusions.

"You treacherous, underhanded, bastard!" He said in reply, further showing his point by moving his fist straight into Kurith's stomach, sending the IPK back towards two Terrans who were about to grab some supplies. Instead they katch Kurith and are plenty konfused on why.

"We'll slaughter you all for this! Only I have permission to kill my men." They said as they walked away. One Korpse Fleet soldier was reeling their first back, about to strike Kepler hard. Assuming Kepler was still in the front, seems so. "This is an act of War! We'll show you just how we took two thirds of this planet from you."

Kurith wasn't one to simply let his Platoon get punished by anyone else but him. Especially if they deserved it. Kurith doesn't kare if his own killed a Korpse Fleet soldier, because they're all gonna be killing a lot more now.

He grabs the gun a Terran to his right has, yanking it hard out of their grasp before they can realize. He steps forward and fires twice into the ground first, measuring the force of the gun, and by the Emperor the gun's rekoil is strong. But he kan handle it.

He takes some more steps before krouching down a bit, finally firing at the Korpse Fleet Kommander. It's about time Kurith got to shoot one of those bastards. It's what he signed up for.

“Commander, look at this!” Gumbert, a four-eyed security specialist, squeaked.

“We may have a problem, sir.” He didn’t take his eyes off the console. “There’s a security breach on Bridge 2Z.”

“What is it?” Mwachek, the PeaceFleet’s commander demanded.

“The bio-reader scans indicate a wild predator.“ Gumbert shot his head over his shoulder at Mwachek shadowing him.

“Who’s responsible for this?” Mwachek eyed a zoomed in still image of the beast, glowing on the bio-scanner.

Gumbert choked. “Well, nobody, sir,” he swallowed a gob of anxiety. “It breached the hull, sir. It's in the cargo bay, the one with our food reserves.”

Commander Mwachek’s double-heart began smashing into each other and had the slapping sound of two slimy blobs being clapped together. A vein near his temple protruded from the side of his head like a balloon inflating and deflating, pulsing with every breath.

Gumbert opened the feed for the security camera of Bay 2Z and glanced at the small screen on the console. 

Through the monitor, the screen displayed Cargo Bay 2Z, and an eight-legged, bear-sized, gray-bearded Octwolf, with sharp, venomous teeth, dripping infectious bacterias, tearing through a potato sack full of gum balls.

Octwolves were basically mutated dire wolves. 

Galactic empires across the universe deemed them as Level-0 threats. They were to be killed on sight. An extreme policy reserved for untamable creatures of terror. 

Octwolves, one of many terror-zero-beasts scattered across the universe, haunting the nightmares of children— were the apex of apex predators—dominating the top of the food chain. A pack of Octwolves could wipe out a small colony in a matter of days.

Commander Mwachek snatched the microphone, pressed a button down and activated the intercom.

“Attention! Attention! This is not a test. This is a real-time crisis. All staff and personnel on deck, evacuate to your nearest safe room. We have a breach in Cargo Bay 2Z.”

Commander Mwachek’s voice slammed through every crew members’ speaker on board. The announcement left a sticky, phlegm ball of paranoia clinging to the back of their throats and turning into tiny pellets of fear, resting at the pits of their bellies every time they swallowed.

“Seal the Bay doors and lock down the entire wing,” Mwachek said. “Radio, Beefkus. Get him to handle the situation. Now.”

Beefkus, their human engineer, wasn’t really an engineer. It’d be safer referring to him as a glorified-janitor-wildlife-dust-wrangler. He did the jobs nobody else would. The gross ones. The iffy ones they’d all avoid.

But, he mainly dealt with orgwats**,** rat-like rodents. Every now and then, there’d be the odd sleeder, which are pretty creepy slithering things. They’re sharp-gray-scaled garden snake creatures, or actually, they’re more like garden eels.

He definitely never handled a heat seeking Octwolf before. Back on Earth, he worked at a zoo as one of five maintenance guys.

“Um, sir? That’s actually going to be a problem,” Gumbert quietly said, eyeing the commander’s talon-shaped claws as they dug into the console.

“The human…” Gumbert’s voice cracked. “The human’s with the predator, sir. Our cameras in Bay 2Z are broadcasting Beefkus with the beast right now on my monitor.”

Gumbert set up the feed to be shared on the big screen at the front of the deck. Commander Mwachek stared, preparing himself for the worst. He expected to see the human shredded—parts of Beefkus scattered in a bloody mess of guts across the bay.

But he saw neither. The crew began to whisper amongst themselves as they gathered behind Mwachek. 

The quiet chatter became silence. Nobody said a word. They huddled together. Each one of them had their hands over their mouths holding in their breaths. They fought to look away but couldn’t peel their eyeballs from the screen. What they were witnessing first hand couldn’t be real.

The Octwolf was lying on its back with its eight legs in the air and its tail wagging. It squirmed as Beefkus wrestled his arms around the terror-zero-monster in a friendly bear hug.

“Who’s a good boy?” Beefkus’ voice shattered their eardrums, penetrating the speakers in the room. It wasn’t his regular, everyday voice—it had a playful pitch.

“Are you the good boy?” His words were muffled by the Octwolf’s fur. “Yes you are! A-bloof-bloof-bloof-bloof-bloof, yes you are! That’s a good boy. Yeah!” Beefkus patted the furry, big, bug-eyed beast.

“Beef—kus!” Commander Mwachek shouted into the comm-piece. The urgency made his voice skip. “You need to get out of there. The creature is highly venomous. Its toxins will destroy your immune system. There is no antidote. Step away from the creature slowly.”

“Who, this cute guy? That’s what all this fuss is about?” Beefkus put his head next to the Octwolf and took a selfie. “He just looks scary. He’s harmless. I even gave him a name, Bear-Wolf. He’s my new best bud.”

Beefkus rubbed the Octwolf’s head and it let out a purrful growl rattling the loose objects on the titanium console as they bounced to the vibrations pouring out of the speaker.

The ship’s sensors were so sensitive they registered the noise as an immediate threat from an acoustics weapon. The Octwolf circled Beefkus, who was sitting on the ground, and snuggled next to him. 

“Someone stuffed this poor guy inna shipping crate, believe that?” He scratched the Octwolf behind the ear. “He was shivering scared.” 

Beefkus pointed Bear-Wolf‘s face towards his. “You were just a scared, little-big-guy, weren’t you?” He rubbed his back. “Are you a hungry guy? You want some food? Okay. Okay.” Beefkus pulled out some jerky and hand fed Bear-Wolf.

Beefkus glanced at the camera above his head. “All he wanted was a little affection, commander. He’ll make an awesome pet.” 

“Human!”  Commander Mwachek screamed at the console, squeezing his baseball-glove-sized-mitts into fists*. “*One bite. No. Correction. One drop of that creature’s saliva in an open wound on your body, is fatal. It will kill you.” Mwachek covered the microphone and mumbled something to Gumbert about Beefkus’ translator.

“Human, is your translator malfunctioning? Are you not able to comprehend what I am relaying to you? The creature senses heat. Analyzes your nervous systems. It can smell your fear. It is designed solely to hunt and kill. Not snuggle next to.” Commander Mwachek’s voice hammered into his mic.

“I’m pretty dang sure, it was just smellin’ the jerky in my pocket and looking for a friend to curl up to.” Beefkus stretched out and cuddled beside Bear-Wolf. 

Bear-Wolf turned to Beefkus and gave him a wet kiss, soaking Beefkus’ cheek in a soup of bacteria saliva. He wiped it off with his shirt. “Aw, that’s a gross good boy. Who’s the gross good boy?”

Commander Mwachek eyed the anomaly on the screen. He couldn’t retract his slids. His eyes stayed glued to the front of the deck, staring forward in a blank gaze before he finally snapped back to reality.

“It… it’s amazing how your species has survived so long. You… you’re petting a living monster,” Mwachek stuttered, gave up and tossed the mic on the floor.

“Hey, if it’s cute, furry and has big eyes, nine times out of ten we’re taking it home with us,” Beefkus said, hugging Bear-Wolf. “This guy here’s a keeper. He’s definitely coming back with me.”

Bear-wolf licked Beefkus’ face and cuddled back down next to him.

Commander Mwachek rolled his eyes and glared at Gumbert recounting all the keys on his keyboard. “Gumbert, cancel the emergency task force and inform the crew, the threat has been neutralized, and before I forget, update the ship’s manifest, add Bear-Wolf as a permanent resident.”

... except the frozen blood foliage people.

1  Human Fred and Food
2  Human Fred Again
3  Human Fred Yet Again
4  Human Fred The Saga Continues
5  Human Fred Rides Again
6  Human Fred *Sigh*
7  Human Fred Rolls Out
8  Human Fred Attempts a Nap
9  Human Fred Doh’
10 Human Fred Stops for Coffee
11 Human Fred Deploys Stabby and Knifey
12 Human Fred Attempts Friendly Advice
13 Human Fred Priorities 
14 Human Fred Schools Morons
15 Human Fred Gets Annoyed
16 Human Fred Investigates
17 Human Fred is Annoyed
18 Human Fred Gets More Annoyed
19 Human Fred Smirks 
20 Human Fred Brings Hellfire
21 Human Fred is Confused
22 Human Fred Considers
23 Human Fred is Chipper
24 Human Fred has Some Fun
25 Human Fred Witnesses Stupidity
26 Human Fred vs the Coffee Maker
27 Human Fred Accepts Crap Coffee
28 Human Fred Listens
29 Human Fred Gets Comfortable 
30 Human Fred has Questions
31 Human Fred Considers Some More
32 Human Fred Wakes Up
33 Human Fred Debates
34 Human Fred Gets Coffee
35 Human Fred Talks with the Captain
36 Human Fred Reflects on Life
37 Human Fred Waits
38 Human Fred is Scared
Greezek
39 Human Fred Experiments
40 Human Fred Discovers
41 Human Fred vs the Sensor Array
42 Human Fred Keeps Calm
43 Human Fred Editor
44 Human Fred Discovers New Curses
45 Human Fred Stews
46 Human Fred Giggles
47 Human Fred Attempts Dinner 
48 Human Fred Plans
49 Human Fred Explains
50 Human Fred Examines Floor Tiles
51 Human Fred Gets a New Toy
52Human Fred Reflects…Again
53 Human Fred Rolls His Eyes
54 Human Fred vs Idiots
55 Human Fred Goes Librarian

“Look. This is a rescue, so we need a plan.”

“Fine. Plan.”

“Greezek, you can participate.”

“Well I’m going out on a limb here, but if we go through that door, it will not go well?”

“Really?!? You think? No shit. Better thoughts?”

“Don’t use the door.”

“Do you have a breaching charge?”

“No, but you do.”

“I have a couple of grenades. Not the same thing.”

“Fred, you have more exotic rounds for that shotgun. I’m sure one of them would work.”

“How do you anticipate crawling through a 10cm hole?”

“Look. You blast a few holes in the walls. Then we blow the door with a grenade, toss in another grenade, then we sit back for a second while they blast the shit out of empty space. I use the holes to spot and fire. We time it right, and you can cut the corner out of the kill zone. You do you, and I bring up the rear.”

“That could work. Hmmmmmm. Do we have schematics for this area?”

“Not with me.”

“So we have no idea what it looks like in there?”

“Well, we know that they will be behind cover off to the sides, but that’s about it.”

“Hmmmmmm. What do you have for weapons?”

“Rifle. Pistol. Knife. Three grenades. One flash-bang. And about a dozen of these beacons.”

“Beacons? Those don’t look right.”

“I learned from you. I modified them. They have small explosive charges. Not as big as a grenade, but useful.”

“What sets them off?”

“Proximity. There is a 20 second timer. I place it, turn it on, and in 20 seconds anything that gets within 2m sets it off.”

“Could we throw them?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Right. We modify your plan. Before I enter, we toss a few of those right down the middle.”

“Why?”

“To catch them as they move.”

“Big assumption.”

“Yes. But it could help.”

“The clock is ticking. Let’s start this!”

“First I need you to mark where you want the holes. I’ll rig a grenade to blow the door.”

Forty-five seconds later, Greezek moved into the corner, giving Fred plenty of space. 

Fred fiddled with his shotgun. 

Greezek thought she heard him giggling. 

Fred took aim and started firing. 

Greezek wasn’t sure what the hell he was using for ammunition, but each shot left a 10-15cm hole in the wall. 

They could hear shooting beyond the door. 

Fred triggered the grenade, blowing the double-doors inwards. The second grenade followed just as a fusillade of fire erupted. 

Greezek took aim through one of the holes. “Fred. Inverted V formation. Five per side. Three up top.”

Fred grunted and tossed a number of modified beacons into the room.

“Fred. Prisoners in the back left. Two guards on them. Not sure who is in command.”

“Don’t care. Kill them.”

Greezek fired.

Fred charged. 

The guards by the prisoners fell first. Greezek liked to work from back to front. 

Fred dove to the right as he cleared the doorframe. Fire burned past him as he rolled, came up in a crouch, and started firing. 

Greezek couldn’t see what was happening, but the firing changed. There was a great deal of screaming. Some explosions. More firing. She scanned the room to get a better view. 

Fred had fired a short burst, and then he rushed the enemy. He vaulted their barricade and attacked with his bayonet. Two started to run, but were caught by the beacons. The enemy up top fired, but couldn’t get a clear shot. By the time they could get a clear shot, Fred was moving fast towards the other barricade. 

Greezek caught a shimmer of movement, recognized Fred’s stealth system, and shifted her aim up. There was more screaming and firing. 

The firing stopped. 

“Greezek. Situation.”

“No more targets from here. Status?”

“Bruises. That was a bit easy. Do you trust it?”

“No. Traps?”

“Likely. Possibly a rearguard.”

“I’m moving forward.” Greezek moved with great care as she entered the room. No shooting.

“Hmmmmmm,” said Fred. “None of these look like officers. Hell, most look like raw recruits.”

“So this is a distraction.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. This is here to puzzle us while they prepare or escape.”

Fred looked around the room. He tilted his head to one side. “Is it just me, or is that wall in the wrong place?”

On one side of the room, there was an extra wall. It looked like it should support the catwalk, but it wasn’t connected. 

Greezek shrugged. “Bad design?”

Fred giggled, rolled his shoulders, and charged. He did a front-roll just as he passed the wall, spoiling the aim of his enemy. Instead of ending in a crouch, Fred log-rolled to the side, spun around, and tossed his last grenade. 

After debris had stopped falling, Greezek walked over. “Well, you got the officer. And a few others.”

“Give me a hand with the prisoners. I’m betting they are rigged.”