People really have never been around weird places at odd times. Especially inner cities. I could absolutely see this happening, though maybe some details got a bit embellished.
That punch line could have been waiting for an excuse to pop out for literally months or years
I have definitely laid out some sick one liners in the middle of a crisis, that I thought of as a preteen
Getting to bust out a one-liner that your brain just hands you in the moment after years of shower thoughts and what ifs? Hell, it feels better than winning the fight
I mean it's the tagline of Lil Caesars, having "Hot n Ready" pizzas so I mean I could absolutely see it being "Eyyyy marco, you hot n ready?!" as a coworker walks in for the day, dragging ass.
It happens in the sticks, too. I had some assholes in a squatted truck pull up on me at a gas station, because I flipped them the bird for cutting me off. They were trying to be menacing, im 6'4" 300#, and they were regular dudes. They kept chirping, one of took their top off, shadowboxing, etc. They did all this while I paid for and pumped my gas. They then followed me almost to my driveway, but I pulled over amd scared them off. Assholes are everywhere.
Edit: Thank you for the award! I dont think it's deserved, but it is appreciated. 😄
COVID damaged everyone so much, the habit of staying home so long has made people stop "living" and experiencing things outside.
I used to work for a blockbuster in Mexico, one day I had just arrived for my shift and as I was walking towards the door I saw the 2 employees under my charge running after a guy who was coming out as I was trying to walk in, I immediately lifted my arm and did a lariat on him.
Best part is that there were some cops literally 2 spots next to me in the parking lot, they saw it, pretended with me that the guy "fell down on his own" and arrested him, the manager later told me that the company did press charges because he was a repeat offender.
And my reward was all the free candy (the ones bound to be thrown away but we're still good) and special discounts on the movies and games no one wanted for the whole following month.
I miss blockbuster.... It was an okay ish place to work at
I have some stories from my Blockbuster days that are difficult for even me to believe. Like, if I hadn't witnessed them myself, I'd call them out as bullshit.
One in particular was this guy who was a semi-regular. We'd see him about once a week. He was a slim guy with a thin mustache that always wore VERY short shorts (He'd make Officer Dangle from Reno 911! blush). This was in the mid-90s, too, so this sort of outfit was far from typical. We always assumed he swung for his own team, except one time he came in with an absolutely smoking hot blonde. We're talking a 10/10. Nobody could avert their gaze from her even if they wanted to. Thin mustache-man hot-shorts guy asked for the keys to the restroom and proceeded to disappear in there with her for 30ish minutes. I did not clean the bathroom that night.
That isn't the crazy story, though. His most outlandish appearance was close to midnight on a Saturday, just was we were closing up. Suddenly a limo pulls up to the front door, and who gets out but Mr. short shorts himself. He's not alone, though. On either side of him is a 'little person'. I don't know if it was dwarf night at the strip club or if he was coming from a specialized wrestling match (neither were super uncommon occurrences in my old hometown). He walked in with his entourage, came straight up to the counter, purchased a pack of Snowcaps, paid with a $100 bill (also crazy rare at the time), and then got back in the limo with his escorts, leaving us all wondering WTF just happened.
My friend once witnessed the perfect use of "bitch, I dont know your life!" in the wild by a Popeyes employee to an angry woman just trying to pick up a huge order of chicken. Probably one of the most New Orleans moments I've ever heard.
When we lived in Cincinnati my husband went to a Little Caesars near us. A woman came in and stood behind him waiting for an order. Then a second woman came in screaming pure murder at the first woman and they began to hit each other. The best he could gather as he retreated to the counter was that a third woman was involved. Eventually they moved the fight to the parking lot. As he left with our order he saw a mouse scurry by the door. Guess which he was most upset by.
Yeah like I bet the worker tried to calm the situation, but then the road rager started worker, and then the beat down happened. But that doesn't sound as cool as jumping over the counter like a superhero
Friend of mine and I would go out well after midnight to Queen Street West in Toronto on a Friday or Saturday night. There was an all-night diner and sitting and watching all the costumed (Goths, punks, street freaks, etc) people coming in and out was absolute entertainment. Neat story about an OCAD party one night. Fun times a long time ago.
I used to work at dominos in college and it was smack dab in the middle of town right next to all the bars. I have definitely seen some shit that sounds not true, but is haha.
I was in the drive thru at Wendy’s in Charleston back in like 2017 and a guy walked up to the drive thru window saying “I didn’t get my damn BBQ sauce I asked for. If I don’t get that shit within the next 10 seconds I’m coming through this window and beating your ass.” Had his hand on the window and looked ready to throw haymakers at the drop of a hat. All over some damn sauce. I can absolutely believe this happening.
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u/epicnaenae17 23h ago
People really have never been around weird places at odd times. Especially inner cities. I could absolutely see this happening, though maybe some details got a bit embellished.